I'm sorry for my absense, faithful fans, but your old buddy Metal Steve's life has been a total whirlwind lately LITERALLY. haha! First, my band Mighty Talon might be on the verge of a breakup thanks to our stpuiod lead singer "Platinum" Daniel getting married. He called me the other day and was like, 'Hey Steve I think I can't come to practiec this week because my wife wants me to be home with her" and I was like "WHAT THE HELL?" There is a saing rap guys like to use that I think is approprriate here: "BRO'S BEFORE HO'S." Well, when I told that to "Platinum" Daniel he got all mad and was like "Steve come on man don't call Donna a ho" and I wasl ike "Later!" and hung up on him. But the thing is nobody cna really sing like "Platinum" Daniel so I don't know what to do now. Maybe you the fans can advise me! What about Mighty Talon as an all instrucmental band? Would you like that? "CAST YOUR VOTE, MY LEGIENS!" haha!
Well, you are pobably wondering how I'm able to write a METAL REVIEW of a game that's not even in stores yet? Well let's just say your fearless leader Metal Steev has a trick or two up his slevse and a contact at a certain big video game company that rhymes with Intendo! haha! So yes, the wait is over, I am hereby proud to unveil the first review ever of Super Mario Galxy 2 and not just a review, but a METAL REVIEW at that! You won't find a review in your copy of Gamepro or Nintendo Power, I will tell you that! haha! At least not yet because I'm sure at some point they will get what we in the video game industyr call "Review Copies" of the game but for now gameriffs.blogspot.com is your only place to find any indpeth info9rmation about Super Mario Galaxy 2. So let's go on with this already! "TAKE IT FROM THE TOP!"
Now I must warn you that Ninteodo is going to be totally PISSED that I'm going to blow the lid off this game, so to speak but thats what happens when you are the top video game writer. You have to take one for the team! But did you know Ninteodo is really run by gangsters from Japan? It's true! They are led by the Japanese gang called Yakuza and Yakuza might see my METAL REVIEW and say "We need to getthis guy for spililng the beans!" and so if you don't hear from me maybe Yakuza has gotten me! Also Nintendo has gangsters here in the USA too! It's the truth and its kind of scary! At E3 years ago, which is this big event where all the vidoe game journalist learn about new video games Nintendo brougth out this big black guy named Reggie who cussed at the crowd and scared every one. He was like "Fuck You my name is Reggie!" and told everyone he was going to kick thier ass! This is real you can find a You Tube video to see it if you want! When I heard that I wasl ike, "Whoa, I thought Nitnendo was a kid's company" but now I know better. They are gangsters! haha!
So gangsters like money, right? "WE'RE ONLY IN IT FOR THE CASH BABY!" I think that's how a rap song goes. Well Super Mario Galaxy the originla one was the biggest selling game on Wii and Nintendo said "Let's make another one and make lot's of money!" but the guy who made it named Miyamoto who is the wordl's best video gamde designer wanted to do something new. But his boss said "We need to make money or Yakuza will get mad" so he was forced to make another one. Lucky for us he did though because Super Mario Galaxy 2 is the best game Nitnendo has ever made. If you take all of the good stuff from the Super Mario Galaxy and double or tripe it you have Super Mario Galaxy 2. The game takes place in space like the first Super Mario Galayx but there are all kinds of new planetts to go to and new people to see.
Now I don'tw antto spoil too much for you but I will tell you one big suprise that Nintendo hasn't told anyone yet. In SuperMario Galaxy 2 there is a return of a certain green friend from some old games. You are probably like "But Steve Luigi was in teh last game!" No I'm not takling about Luigi! I don't wnat to give it away but let's just say it is a certain dinosaur that you can ride and eat bad gusy with and lucky for you he can live in space just like Mario. Seriously how do thees guys not need air? "IT'S A MEE MAGICAL MARIO! I CAN A BREATH IN SPACE!" haha! You heard it here first folks. I bet your copy of Gameprop didn't have that juicy bit of information in it! "METAL STEVE TO THE RESCUE!"
The game is really long and will keep you bussy for a really long time. My secret friend at Nitnenod gave me the game almost a week ago and I have been woking very hard to finish it and finally I got most of the stars. Some of them are kind of imposssible though and I have to say "MIYAMOTO WHY DID YOU MAKE THIS PARTS SO HARD?!?!" haha! But the guy is a genius so I wont question hsi work. Since I haven't gotten every start I don't know if it unlocks anything special if you get every star but I think it probably does. But since I'm so good at video games and I haven't gotten every star it will probably be hard for average players to get every star. But my advice is keep trying. 'ONLY THE WEAK GIVE UP!" haha!
So now you have read the first review of Super Mario Galaxy 2 and lucky for you it was a METAL REVIEW from your most trutsted source Metal Steve. Just remember you king Metal Steve will never lead you asatray and my final word on this game is "GET $50 AND GO BUY THIS GMAE THE DAY IT COMES OUT IN STORES OR YOU WILL BE SORRY!" Yes the game is that good. Miyamoto has out done himself even if he was forced to maek this game for money and lucky for us we now have the best Nintedno game ever made to play. Syure it might seem impossible to get every last star but I have a feeling that when you do it'll be worth it. Remember, as your friend Metal Steve says, "IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCEED TRY TRY AGAIN AND YOU WILL GET EVERY LAST STAR!" Now I'm off to get the last few stars myself so I'm signing off. And hopefully Yakuza or Reggie don't get me! haha! Later!
Showing posts with label Nintendo Wii. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nintendo Wii. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Metal Steve Reviews Muscle March
Buckle your seatbleslts everyone because Metal Steve has a crazy tale that has transpired since last we met in my METAL REVIEW of Muramasa The Demon Blade for the Nintendoi Wii. You see, not only did I break up with my girlfriend or should I say EX-GLIRFRIEND Samantha but now I need to find a new drummer for my band Mighty Talon because I kicked our drummer Eric out of the band! A lot has transpired since the last 24 hours folks and Metal Steve is here to tell you the tale but hey I know you come here for METAL REVEIWS too so your pal Metal Steve will quickly tell you what transpired then get on with a METAL REVIEW for you! Okay, so let's do this. "SIR PLEASE RELAY WHAT HAPPENED MY KING!" And indeed I will! haha!
Last night Samantha told me she's sad she can't get pregnant after trying so much and I was like, "hey baby, I guess you girls just can't swim" and she got all upset and told me I wasn't being suppoirutifve and that I was going to make a terrible father. So that got me angry and I wsa like "Youi know what, why don't you go make a baby yourself then!" and then told her that hse was probably the problem because I can get plenty of chicks pregnant if I wanted. She told me to get out and yeah, well, whatever. You know the rest. No need to bore you with the detail of what transpired beyond that! haha! Just jsut say that your pal Steve is know on the market so if your girolfriend or wife breaks up with you to go for a rock star guitar player in the band Mighty Talon don't come crawling to me in tears because you hvae been warned! haha! LOL!
By now you might be saying "Whoa, Steve, where is the METAL REVIEW you promised us. Don't leave suhanging here!" and to that I say, "Patience is a virtew my loyal subjects just hang tight I'm getting to it!" haha! So I wnet to crash at my drummer Eric's apartment and he was playing his Nintendo Wii when I got there but what my eyes witness, my loayal subjects I cannot even dare describe. But because you come to yoru pal Metal Steve for his famous METAL REVIEWS I will be brave nad describe the horrible sights my eyes saw.
Eric was playing this game called Muslce March where you have to mke these gay muscle guys march through walls. Now beofre you get upset nad say "Steve, don't call people gay that's mean!" remember that I totally support gays and if I could vote I'd totally vote to let them even get married! Mighty Talon even played at a gay bar once and to the gay's credit they didn't even try to have sex with any of us because they knew we were straight and liked chicks! So you can say that Steve is even a supporter of gays. But that doens't mean I want to watch some gay msucle guys run through walls.
I was like "Eric let's play something else" but he was totally hypnotised by those guay muscle guys as they ran through walls and I was like "Eric, dude you've got to stop man, you can't watch this stuff any longer." Its not that Eric was playing a gay game that got me mad it's thatt the game is totally stupid and you just make gay muslce guys run through walls and that is totally stupid. I was like, "Who made this game?" haha! It turns out Namco Bandai made the game and even though I respect them for making other good games Muscle March is enguhgh to make me thinkg "Whoa, there si something in the water at Namco Bandai that is making them make sucky games about muslce guys who are gay running throguh walls!"
I told Eric he could choose between his precious Muscle March or playing drums for Mighty Talon and he was like "Steve you ca'tn be serious" and I was like, "Oh yes I am." Well, you can probably guess why Eric is no longer the drummer for Mithy Talon! haha! "WE ONLY WANT REAL MUSICIANS, NOT FREAKS." He was like "Nobody would kcik me out of a band for playing a game" and I was like "Watch me!" and slammed the door before going to my singer "Platinum" Daniel's house to crash. When I told him that I kicked Eric out of the band he was like "You did the right thing Steve, we dnon't need a guy like that behind the kit." haha!
So now you have read my METAL REVIEW of why Muslce March for the Nintendo Wii is a bad game and shouldn't be played. Even if you are gay and like looking at gay muscle guys I would say to avoids this game beacuse all you do is make gay msuachle guys run through walls and that is totally stupid! Namco Bandai should be ashamed of themslelves for making such a sucky game, but hey I guess they thought that many gay guys would like Muslce March but I don't think any self respecting gay guy would play a game like Muscle March so I thinkg you should avoid it, evne if you are gay! Remember, as your pal Metal Steve says, "BEING GAY IS OKAY, BUT PLAYING A SUCKY GAME JUST BECHAUSE IT IS GAY IS NOT A GOOD IDEA!" haha! Well, until nex titme, this is your pal Metal Steve signing off. And watch out ladies because Metal Stev eis officially on the prowl! LOL! Later!
Last night Samantha told me she's sad she can't get pregnant after trying so much and I was like, "hey baby, I guess you girls just can't swim" and she got all upset and told me I wasn't being suppoirutifve and that I was going to make a terrible father. So that got me angry and I wsa like "Youi know what, why don't you go make a baby yourself then!" and then told her that hse was probably the problem because I can get plenty of chicks pregnant if I wanted. She told me to get out and yeah, well, whatever. You know the rest. No need to bore you with the detail of what transpired beyond that! haha! Just jsut say that your pal Steve is know on the market so if your girolfriend or wife breaks up with you to go for a rock star guitar player in the band Mighty Talon don't come crawling to me in tears because you hvae been warned! haha! LOL!
By now you might be saying "Whoa, Steve, where is the METAL REVIEW you promised us. Don't leave suhanging here!" and to that I say, "Patience is a virtew my loyal subjects just hang tight I'm getting to it!" haha! So I wnet to crash at my drummer Eric's apartment and he was playing his Nintendo Wii when I got there but what my eyes witness, my loayal subjects I cannot even dare describe. But because you come to yoru pal Metal Steve for his famous METAL REVIEWS I will be brave nad describe the horrible sights my eyes saw.
Eric was playing this game called Muslce March where you have to mke these gay muscle guys march through walls. Now beofre you get upset nad say "Steve, don't call people gay that's mean!" remember that I totally support gays and if I could vote I'd totally vote to let them even get married! Mighty Talon even played at a gay bar once and to the gay's credit they didn't even try to have sex with any of us because they knew we were straight and liked chicks! So you can say that Steve is even a supporter of gays. But that doens't mean I want to watch some gay msucle guys run through walls.
I was like "Eric let's play something else" but he was totally hypnotised by those guay muscle guys as they ran through walls and I was like "Eric, dude you've got to stop man, you can't watch this stuff any longer." Its not that Eric was playing a gay game that got me mad it's thatt the game is totally stupid and you just make gay muslce guys run through walls and that is totally stupid. I was like, "Who made this game?" haha! It turns out Namco Bandai made the game and even though I respect them for making other good games Muscle March is enguhgh to make me thinkg "Whoa, there si something in the water at Namco Bandai that is making them make sucky games about muslce guys who are gay running throguh walls!"
I told Eric he could choose between his precious Muscle March or playing drums for Mighty Talon and he was like "Steve you ca'tn be serious" and I was like, "Oh yes I am." Well, you can probably guess why Eric is no longer the drummer for Mithy Talon! haha! "WE ONLY WANT REAL MUSICIANS, NOT FREAKS." He was like "Nobody would kcik me out of a band for playing a game" and I was like "Watch me!" and slammed the door before going to my singer "Platinum" Daniel's house to crash. When I told him that I kicked Eric out of the band he was like "You did the right thing Steve, we dnon't need a guy like that behind the kit." haha!
So now you have read my METAL REVIEW of why Muslce March for the Nintendo Wii is a bad game and shouldn't be played. Even if you are gay and like looking at gay muscle guys I would say to avoids this game beacuse all you do is make gay msuachle guys run through walls and that is totally stupid! Namco Bandai should be ashamed of themslelves for making such a sucky game, but hey I guess they thought that many gay guys would like Muslce March but I don't think any self respecting gay guy would play a game like Muscle March so I thinkg you should avoid it, evne if you are gay! Remember, as your pal Metal Steve says, "BEING GAY IS OKAY, BUT PLAYING A SUCKY GAME JUST BECHAUSE IT IS GAY IS NOT A GOOD IDEA!" haha! Well, until nex titme, this is your pal Metal Steve signing off. And watch out ladies because Metal Stev eis officially on the prowl! LOL! Later!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Metal Steve Reviews Muramasa The Demon Blade
Hey everyone. Your faithful captain Methal Steve is back and ready for more action! haha! I bet you were like, "Whoa, Steve musthave died or something becaues he's never posting on Game Riffs any more" and your RIGHT! I am a zombie RAAAAH STEVE WILL EATH YORU BRAINS SO LOOKOUT EVERYONE! RAAAAAH! BRAINS! Lol! Just kidding, I'm not a zombie but I will still eat your brain methaphorically speaking with the greatness of my new METAL REVIEW of the Nintendo Wii game Muramasa The Demon Blade. So get ready my victims of zombei apocalpyse because Steve is here to BRING BACK THE MTAL. "LET'S DO THIS RIGHT THE FIRST TIME CAPTIAN!!" haha!
But hold up a minute, my faithful fans. You are probably like "Steve, what's going on? Why haveh you apandoned me!?" Don't cry my dear friens because the truth of the matter is Steve was too busy to playvideo games to write reviews. What has your vaforite game reviewer been up to? EATINB RAINS OF CORUSE! haha. Just kidding! LoL! No, I was busy with my band Mighty Talon working on a new blum that may or may not be out in stores this year. And of coruse I've been busy with my girilfriend Samantha who if all goes accoring to plan will be what the rap guys' call my "Baby's Mama" very soon! So fear not, loyal subjects of KINGDOM STEVE, your king has not been wasting his time. METAL AND SEX FOREVER!! haha!
So let's get back on topic here because I do'nt have all day here and neither do you, although you aren't in a band like me or have as much tiem in bed with hot chicks like me. They don't call me "ALL NIGHT STEVE" for nothing, let me tell yuou! haha! So anyway Muramasa the Demon Blade is a new Nintendo Wii game that appearls to us "OLD SCHOOL GAMERS" like me because it has amazing 2D graphics. The makers of the game had to get special persimmon from Nintendo to make such good graphics. The guy who made Muramasa the Demon Blade called Nintendo and was like, "Hey, sorry to beat you at your own game guys but we have this new game and it looks beter than yours! But let us release it anyway OK?" haha! But Nintendo took one look at the game and was like, "Whoa, video game players must paly this because this is incredible. You have our permission" and now you know how the guys who made Muramasa The Demon Balde got away with making such a good looking game.
But one thing that is importaht ist hat Muramasa The Demon Blade has 2D graphics. I think Ive explained this before but just in case I'll let you know that games come in two types, 2D and 3-D. The 2D games are the kind us "OLD FOGEYS" grue up playing, you know stuff like Mario before Suepr Mario 64 and old games like that. 3D is stuff like Super Mario 64 and everyting after that because Nintendo invented 3D games with Super Mario 64 and everyone else was like "Whoa guys, tha'ts awesome can we do that?" and now eveyrone does 3D games although they have to pay Nintendo a royalty to make 3D games becasue Nintendo owns the patenent on 3D.
Muraumasa the Demon Blade takesp lace in Ancient Japan where there are samurais and ninjas at every turn. "LOOK OUT A NINJA IS CREEPING DOWN RIGHT BEHIND YOU TO KILL YOU AAAAH!" haha! I made you look diden't I? Muramasa the Demon Blade is a great 2D game with samurais and ninjas that want you dead but there's no reason to worry. You might say, "How can I stand up to ninjas and samurais?" nad the answer is you have THE MURAMASA DEMON BLADE to slash them all down with! It would be cool if there were nunchicks you could use too but you can't have it all.
WEll I hope you enjoyed my METAL REVIEW of Muramasa the Demon Blade for the Nintedno Wii and know why it is the best 2D game on the Nintendo Wii! I hope yo can forgive you pal Metal Steve for being away for so long buty like I said I was busy making metal and ahem "GETTING BUSY." Not only will I soon rule the record stors with my new CD soon but I might be ruling the father of the year charts too if I can get Samantha pregnant soon! haha! I don't knwo if I even want to be a dad but Samantha wants a baby and plus I heard woman's breast get bigger when they are pregnent so you know what I say to that? "BONUS!" So until next time my faithfull followers, this is your commander in chief Metal Steve signing off. Remember, as Metal Steve says: "NINJAS AND SAMURAIS ARE NO MATCH FOR THE DEMNO BLADE!" Oh and one more thing. "BRAAAAAINS METAL STEVE WANTS TO EATHTYOUR BRAAAAAIINNNS!!!" haha! Later!
But hold up a minute, my faithful fans. You are probably like "Steve, what's going on? Why haveh you apandoned me!?" Don't cry my dear friens because the truth of the matter is Steve was too busy to playvideo games to write reviews. What has your vaforite game reviewer been up to? EATINB RAINS OF CORUSE! haha. Just kidding! LoL! No, I was busy with my band Mighty Talon working on a new blum that may or may not be out in stores this year. And of coruse I've been busy with my girilfriend Samantha who if all goes accoring to plan will be what the rap guys' call my "Baby's Mama" very soon! So fear not, loyal subjects of KINGDOM STEVE, your king has not been wasting his time. METAL AND SEX FOREVER!! haha!
So let's get back on topic here because I do'nt have all day here and neither do you, although you aren't in a band like me or have as much tiem in bed with hot chicks like me. They don't call me "ALL NIGHT STEVE" for nothing, let me tell yuou! haha! So anyway Muramasa the Demon Blade is a new Nintendo Wii game that appearls to us "OLD SCHOOL GAMERS" like me because it has amazing 2D graphics. The makers of the game had to get special persimmon from Nintendo to make such good graphics. The guy who made Muramasa the Demon Blade called Nintendo and was like, "Hey, sorry to beat you at your own game guys but we have this new game and it looks beter than yours! But let us release it anyway OK?" haha! But Nintendo took one look at the game and was like, "Whoa, video game players must paly this because this is incredible. You have our permission" and now you know how the guys who made Muramasa The Demon Balde got away with making such a good looking game.
But one thing that is importaht ist hat Muramasa The Demon Blade has 2D graphics. I think Ive explained this before but just in case I'll let you know that games come in two types, 2D and 3-D. The 2D games are the kind us "OLD FOGEYS" grue up playing, you know stuff like Mario before Suepr Mario 64 and old games like that. 3D is stuff like Super Mario 64 and everyting after that because Nintendo invented 3D games with Super Mario 64 and everyone else was like "Whoa guys, tha'ts awesome can we do that?" and now eveyrone does 3D games although they have to pay Nintendo a royalty to make 3D games becasue Nintendo owns the patenent on 3D.
Muraumasa the Demon Blade takesp lace in Ancient Japan where there are samurais and ninjas at every turn. "LOOK OUT A NINJA IS CREEPING DOWN RIGHT BEHIND YOU TO KILL YOU AAAAH!" haha! I made you look diden't I? Muramasa the Demon Blade is a great 2D game with samurais and ninjas that want you dead but there's no reason to worry. You might say, "How can I stand up to ninjas and samurais?" nad the answer is you have THE MURAMASA DEMON BLADE to slash them all down with! It would be cool if there were nunchicks you could use too but you can't have it all.
WEll I hope you enjoyed my METAL REVIEW of Muramasa the Demon Blade for the Nintedno Wii and know why it is the best 2D game on the Nintendo Wii! I hope yo can forgive you pal Metal Steve for being away for so long buty like I said I was busy making metal and ahem "GETTING BUSY." Not only will I soon rule the record stors with my new CD soon but I might be ruling the father of the year charts too if I can get Samantha pregnant soon! haha! I don't knwo if I even want to be a dad but Samantha wants a baby and plus I heard woman's breast get bigger when they are pregnent so you know what I say to that? "BONUS!" So until next time my faithfull followers, this is your commander in chief Metal Steve signing off. Remember, as Metal Steve says: "NINJAS AND SAMURAIS ARE NO MATCH FOR THE DEMNO BLADE!" Oh and one more thing. "BRAAAAAINS METAL STEVE WANTS TO EATHTYOUR BRAAAAAIINNNS!!!" haha! Later!
Friday, December 12, 2008
Metal Steve Reviews Wii Music
Sorry everybody for not posting so much fori months but I've been busy working on the new Mighty Talon album and let me tell you this: "PREPARE TO HAVE YORU FACE MELTED OFF!!" haha! Just kidding about that, your face wont really melt off. Well, maybe it will if you play it loud enoughh! haha! But let's puth that ashide for a minute and get down tto business here which is why you came to this side in the first place right? It's time for my METAL REVIEW of Wii Music for the Nintendo Wii. So lets turn our amplighfer up to "11" and get ready to rock! haha!
OK, well I'ms oryy to say this Metal Steve fans but there are some things even I, the mighty Metal Steve am just no capable of. And that is plying music games that don't even have real music. I already told you how "GUITAR HERO" is really not that great of a game becahsuse the gutiar pplaying is totally fake! haha! Well Wii Music is even woese I have to admit because instead of something that looks like a real isntrument you have to play with the Wii Remote and the Wii Nunchuck. Where are the strings to srutum? This is "NOT METAL" at all! haha! "BUT CAN YOU ROCK OUT WITH WII MUSIC?" In aw ord NO WAY! haah! I know you might say, "Hey Steve, that's 2 words" and I have two wordsh for you: SHUT UP! haha!
Did you knwo why Nintendo made Wii Music? You might think that its to compete with GUITAR HERO" or "ROCK BAND" but really its because the guy at Nintendo who makes all the games, Miyimoto. He said, "Hey gusy I like to play the banjo so lets make a banjo game! But let's use the Nintendo Wii Remote!" and they had so much fun they kept adding more sintruments into they whole game was full of fake instruments and Miyimoto was like "Hey gusy, slow down! We have to sav esomething for the sequel!" haha! But then Nintendo had this game so they said "PUT IT IN STORES" nad then puti t on a disc and sold it to people. But unfortuntaely for people like me who are musicians its just fake music for people who don't know a guitar from a banjo! haha! "THERE IS NO REASON TO BELIEVE THIS IS MUSIC>" You might as well listen to rap and besidethe game has a rapper and record player which is just ddumb and not real music! haha! METAL FOREVER!
So now you know why Wii Music is not worth your har-dearned money and unless you are a posser who is NOT METAL you should just get a realy guitar and take lessons. You might ask me "Hey Steve, can yout each me to play guitar?" Sorry guys, I'm too busy with my band Mighty Talon to teach you how to play guitar and beside if you like Wii Music chanses are you don't knwo a think about msuic and are waisting my time! haha! I'm sorry ot be rude but you get notwhere in life lying to people. But keep practicign and one day you may be mighty like METAL STEVE of "MIGHTY TALON."
I need to go meet Samatha, my girlfirend for dinner because its our dat enight tonight and you know what that means. "METAL STEVE WILL BE HAVING DESERT TOO!" haha! Let's just say that I might end up playing Wii Music, or should I say "SAMANTHA MUSIC" tonight. I wonder what tyepy of instrument she is. Probably a bass drum or a tayko drum! haha! That's mean but i told her her big butt makes her tlook that way! haha! OK my loyal fans I'm sorry for being gone for so long. I'm so busy so I might nto be back for a while but until then remember, as Metal Steve says, "DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME WITH FAKE MUSIC WHEN THER EIS REAL METAL TO PLAY!" Later!
OK, well I'ms oryy to say this Metal Steve fans but there are some things even I, the mighty Metal Steve am just no capable of. And that is plying music games that don't even have real music. I already told you how "GUITAR HERO" is really not that great of a game becahsuse the gutiar pplaying is totally fake! haha! Well Wii Music is even woese I have to admit because instead of something that looks like a real isntrument you have to play with the Wii Remote and the Wii Nunchuck. Where are the strings to srutum? This is "NOT METAL" at all! haha! "BUT CAN YOU ROCK OUT WITH WII MUSIC?" In aw ord NO WAY! haah! I know you might say, "Hey Steve, that's 2 words" and I have two wordsh for you: SHUT UP! haha!
Did you knwo why Nintendo made Wii Music? You might think that its to compete with GUITAR HERO" or "ROCK BAND" but really its because the guy at Nintendo who makes all the games, Miyimoto. He said, "Hey gusy I like to play the banjo so lets make a banjo game! But let's use the Nintendo Wii Remote!" and they had so much fun they kept adding more sintruments into they whole game was full of fake instruments and Miyimoto was like "Hey gusy, slow down! We have to sav esomething for the sequel!" haha! But then Nintendo had this game so they said "PUT IT IN STORES" nad then puti t on a disc and sold it to people. But unfortuntaely for people like me who are musicians its just fake music for people who don't know a guitar from a banjo! haha! "THERE IS NO REASON TO BELIEVE THIS IS MUSIC>" You might as well listen to rap and besidethe game has a rapper and record player which is just ddumb and not real music! haha! METAL FOREVER!
So now you know why Wii Music is not worth your har-dearned money and unless you are a posser who is NOT METAL you should just get a realy guitar and take lessons. You might ask me "Hey Steve, can yout each me to play guitar?" Sorry guys, I'm too busy with my band Mighty Talon to teach you how to play guitar and beside if you like Wii Music chanses are you don't knwo a think about msuic and are waisting my time! haha! I'm sorry ot be rude but you get notwhere in life lying to people. But keep practicign and one day you may be mighty like METAL STEVE of "MIGHTY TALON."
I need to go meet Samatha, my girlfirend for dinner because its our dat enight tonight and you know what that means. "METAL STEVE WILL BE HAVING DESERT TOO!" haha! Let's just say that I might end up playing Wii Music, or should I say "SAMANTHA MUSIC" tonight. I wonder what tyepy of instrument she is. Probably a bass drum or a tayko drum! haha! That's mean but i told her her big butt makes her tlook that way! haha! OK my loyal fans I'm sorry for being gone for so long. I'm so busy so I might nto be back for a while but until then remember, as Metal Steve says, "DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME WITH FAKE MUSIC WHEN THER EIS REAL METAL TO PLAY!" Later!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Metal Steve Reviews Super Mario Galaxy
A couple days ago "Platinum" Daniel, the singer in my band Mighty Talon made me think about somtehing and I wonder if maybe he is right. I showed him Metal Steve's Game Riffs and told him about how it provides game reviews that are made for "HARDCORE" gamers but he said "Hey STeve whey are there no comments, maybe nobody reads it?" and I said "What do you mean?" Then he showed me how all of my articles say "Comments 0" at the end and I was like "I don't know, maybe there's nothing more to say after my thorough reviews!" haha! But Daniel said he thikns nobody reads this site. That got me kind of mad and I told him to get out of my house but then I started thinking and maybe Daniel is right that nobody reads this site. So if you read this site maybe you can let me know that you like my METAL REVIEWS or maybe I should stop making METAL REVIEWS and stick to just making METAL with Mighty Talon. I wanted to make a site for "HARDCORE" gamers who would say "Man, I'm sick of Gamepro, it's not hardcore enough" and when they'd type gameriffs.blogspot.com into their internet they would be like "Whoat his is so much better than Gamepro let me put that magazine in the trash, I've found a new source for game reviews" and I'd say "You mean METAL REVIEWS!" haha! I know that my faithful fans have go to be reading so I will keep the flame alive "THE SOUL STILL BURNS" haha! So let's get down to business and you can read my METAL REVIEW of Super Mario Galaxy for the Nintendo Wii. And don't be afraid to leave a comment even if you are intimidated by my knowledge! haha!
So as you all know Mario is a character that Nintendo created years ago. The guy who made Mario was really into Italy and wanted to travel there but when he made the original Mario games he was poor because Nintendo wasn't a very big company yet so he said "I know, I'll just put Italy into a game." But the president of Nintendo said "Nobody wants to play a game about Italy!" so the guy who made Mario said "OK, fine but he can be an Italian guy in a game right?" and the president said "Well, OK but give him a job." So the guy who made Mario made Mario a plumber becasue he used to work as a plumber when he was a kid in Japan because his dad was a plumber. That is why he put pipes into the game and mushrooms were his favorite food so he said "Ok let's put tha tin, too, man I wish I could go to Italy and get pizza with mushrooms on it! Oh well!" haha! So that is the history of Mario and why he is a plumber and eatss mushrooms. It's a godo thing Nintendo were poor back then because if the guy who made Mario went to Italy he maybe wouldln't have made Mario in the first place!
So ther ehave been lots of Mario games over the years but Nintendo have only made a few "real" Mario games like Super Mario World, Super Mario Bros, and now Super Mario Galaxy. They don't want people to get sick of Mario so they spread out the "real" games and put one out every seven years. This time they said "I know! Let's put Mario in space!" because the guy who makes Mario always wanted to go to the moon. It was his dream to be an astronaut when he was a kid but his dad said "You have to learn to be a plumber like me" but instead he made games and put in all the stuff he dreamed aobut. So anyway with the new one they said "Let's put Mario in space" but then they had to figure out how to do that. So they said "Mario doesn't need gravity since he's in space!" and so Mario can fly through all the stars. He still has to fight King Koopa and rescute the Princess but now he can fly with the help of the Wii Remote controller. You shake it to make spin and press the button to jump. It's kind of confusing especially when you're drunk! haha! But after playing for a bit you'll think "Wow, so this is what's it's like to live in space!"
Super Mari Galaxy ont he Nintendo Wii has the best graphics ever made for the Nintendo Wii because Nintendo used secrets that nobody else knows about. I don't know for sure but I think they used "MOTION CAPTURE" which is a special method to capture how people move and put that into how Mario flies. They also used advanced graphics chips to make the fire look real and took photos of the starts to make all the stars and planets look real too! It took a lot of work and I bet they were like "We're glad we can wait seven years before making another real Mario game!" haha! The game also has the best music ever in a Nintendo game because this is one of the first games to have real musicians playing the music. There isn't really any heavy metal in there but if you like classical music and catchy music you'll say "Wow, this is pretty good!" And there's a new girl that Mario spends time with who is maybe a rival to the Princess so the Princess is probably jealous! haha! I remember one time after a concert by my band Mighty Talon my girlfriend Samantha got mad because we let some chicks into the back area and one girl was sitting on my lap. Women! haha! That's probably what Mario says when the Princess gets mad. "Mama mia women!" haha!
So now you have read my METAL REVIEW of Super Mario Galaxy for the Nintendo Wii and know why it is such an amazing game. Nintendo wouldn't have Mario though if the guy who made Mario was allowed to go to Italy so be thankfull that he didn't go to Italy back then! That's kind of mean but he has so much money now he can probably buy Italy! haha! And don't worry he's been there over a dozne times. If you own a Nintendo Wii and you don't own Super Mario Galaxy you should go get it otherwise gamers like me will say "Hey what's wrong with you?" haha! And don't be afraid to levae a comment on the site and le tme know you are here even though I know you are. "YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME!" haha! OK my faithful fans, until next time this is your friend Metal Steve bidding you farewell. Remember, as Metal Steve says, "GOING ON VACATION IS FUN, BUT STAYING HOME AND DOING YOUR WORK PAYS OFF IN THE END!" Later!
So as you all know Mario is a character that Nintendo created years ago. The guy who made Mario was really into Italy and wanted to travel there but when he made the original Mario games he was poor because Nintendo wasn't a very big company yet so he said "I know, I'll just put Italy into a game." But the president of Nintendo said "Nobody wants to play a game about Italy!" so the guy who made Mario said "OK, fine but he can be an Italian guy in a game right?" and the president said "Well, OK but give him a job." So the guy who made Mario made Mario a plumber becasue he used to work as a plumber when he was a kid in Japan because his dad was a plumber. That is why he put pipes into the game and mushrooms were his favorite food so he said "Ok let's put tha tin, too, man I wish I could go to Italy and get pizza with mushrooms on it! Oh well!" haha! So that is the history of Mario and why he is a plumber and eatss mushrooms. It's a godo thing Nintendo were poor back then because if the guy who made Mario went to Italy he maybe wouldln't have made Mario in the first place!
So ther ehave been lots of Mario games over the years but Nintendo have only made a few "real" Mario games like Super Mario World, Super Mario Bros, and now Super Mario Galaxy. They don't want people to get sick of Mario so they spread out the "real" games and put one out every seven years. This time they said "I know! Let's put Mario in space!" because the guy who makes Mario always wanted to go to the moon. It was his dream to be an astronaut when he was a kid but his dad said "You have to learn to be a plumber like me" but instead he made games and put in all the stuff he dreamed aobut. So anyway with the new one they said "Let's put Mario in space" but then they had to figure out how to do that. So they said "Mario doesn't need gravity since he's in space!" and so Mario can fly through all the stars. He still has to fight King Koopa and rescute the Princess but now he can fly with the help of the Wii Remote controller. You shake it to make spin and press the button to jump. It's kind of confusing especially when you're drunk! haha! But after playing for a bit you'll think "Wow, so this is what's it's like to live in space!"
Super Mari Galaxy ont he Nintendo Wii has the best graphics ever made for the Nintendo Wii because Nintendo used secrets that nobody else knows about. I don't know for sure but I think they used "MOTION CAPTURE" which is a special method to capture how people move and put that into how Mario flies. They also used advanced graphics chips to make the fire look real and took photos of the starts to make all the stars and planets look real too! It took a lot of work and I bet they were like "We're glad we can wait seven years before making another real Mario game!" haha! The game also has the best music ever in a Nintendo game because this is one of the first games to have real musicians playing the music. There isn't really any heavy metal in there but if you like classical music and catchy music you'll say "Wow, this is pretty good!" And there's a new girl that Mario spends time with who is maybe a rival to the Princess so the Princess is probably jealous! haha! I remember one time after a concert by my band Mighty Talon my girlfriend Samantha got mad because we let some chicks into the back area and one girl was sitting on my lap. Women! haha! That's probably what Mario says when the Princess gets mad. "Mama mia women!" haha!
So now you have read my METAL REVIEW of Super Mario Galaxy for the Nintendo Wii and know why it is such an amazing game. Nintendo wouldn't have Mario though if the guy who made Mario was allowed to go to Italy so be thankfull that he didn't go to Italy back then! That's kind of mean but he has so much money now he can probably buy Italy! haha! And don't worry he's been there over a dozne times. If you own a Nintendo Wii and you don't own Super Mario Galaxy you should go get it otherwise gamers like me will say "Hey what's wrong with you?" haha! And don't be afraid to levae a comment on the site and le tme know you are here even though I know you are. "YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME!" haha! OK my faithful fans, until next time this is your friend Metal Steve bidding you farewell. Remember, as Metal Steve says, "GOING ON VACATION IS FUN, BUT STAYING HOME AND DOING YOUR WORK PAYS OFF IN THE END!" Later!
Friday, April 4, 2008
Metal Steve Reviews Pong
Today I thought it would be fun to go back to the old days with a METAL REVIEW of the first game ever made. Well by first game I mean first video game because the first game was Chinese Checkers since China invented games. They also invented fireworks, gun powder, boats, dragons, and Chinese food. Well those and a lot of other things, they were busy! haha! But let's get back on track, shall we! Today's METAL REVIEW is about a game you probably once played but now think is old and lame and that game is called Pong. But don't worry if you think Pong is lame becasue I will show you why the game is still pretty awesome even today! Don't go anywhere! You'll like what you read, I promise! haha! OK let's start my METAL REVIEW of Pong now.
Pong was an Atari game from somewhere during the 1970's before there were any video games. That's right. Before Sega. Before Nintendo. And long before Microsoft! Back then there was just some guy who was into computers. But they weren't computhers like we have today. No, they were big like huge machines and they didn't do much. Like you could maybe get it to add or subtract but they weren't even able to multiply or divide so they weren't much help for kids with homework. Plus they were really expensive, so kids didn't have them anyway! haha! Anyway, this guy who started Atari was bored with computers one day and said "Hey I know, let me try making a game I can play on my computer" and that's just what he did. HIs favorite game ever was ping pong and he played it every week but because he worked on computers all day he didn't have time, so he said "Let me just make a poing pong game for the computer!" and he worked day and night until he created Pong! And that's the story of how Pong was made!
You probably know what POng is but just in case let me giv eyou some information on how you play Pong. Back when the guy who made Atari created Pong they didn't have keyboards and mouse for computers so he had to use what they had which were knobs. So you turn the knob one way or the other to move a block on screen. The block is supposed to be your paddle in ping pong. You'll have to excuse the bad graphcis because they couldn't do any better back then because their computers had bad screens! haha! There are two rectangles, one on each side and you hit a small square, which is supposed to be the ball back and forth like ina real ping pong match. I know that words like rectangles and squares can make you think of math and get scared but don't be! haha! "CAN YOU START A RALLY WITH THE BALL?" The object of the game is to get the highest score and beat the other player. You might think that I wouldn't like a game like Pong because it has bad graphics but you'd be wrong! haha! I'm the best Pong player in Fresno and nobody has ever beaten me! haha!
The guy who made Pong knew he had smoething good on his hands because the guys in his office couldn't stop playing. In fact they played so much that they weren't getting any work done on computers. He was like "Hey guys! We've got work to do here! What have I started!" haha! So he said "That's it, I'm erasing it from the computer" and everyone was sad, but what they didn't know is he had a secret plan. He was gonig to sell the game to people to play in thier homes and that required a lot of work. He had to start a company named Atari but he kept it a secret and didn't get a lot of sleep because he would work on Pong for peoples home after the guys in his computer office wen thome. Maybe he drank lots of coffee! haha! Anyway he eventually created a prototype of Pong for homes and sent it to a factory in China and they made copies and put them in boxes so he could sell them. Pong because the most popular game in the world until Pac-Man and Tetris came out and beat it. But it's still pretty popular beleive it or not!
That was my METAL REVIEW of Pong, thank you for reading it and being a loyal fan. I'm a lot happier now because Samantha and I are no longer fighting. If you remember I tried to do an April Fool joke on her and called her a "whore" but she didn't think it was funny. So I went to the grocery store and got her flowers and told her I'm sorry a lot of times. Now we're boyfriend and girlfirend again and all is good with life! haha! Let's just say that I won at Pong last night "IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!" haha! If it weren't for the guy who made Atari and his love of ping pong we'd hever have video games. So that means no Xbox-360, Playstation3, or Nintendo Wii if he didn't make Pong! Pretty amazing and scary too! haha! So until next time my fans this is Metal Steve heading out. Remember as Metal Steve says: "WE NEED TO RESPECT OUR ELDERS, EVEN IN VIDEO GAMES!" Later!
Pong was an Atari game from somewhere during the 1970's before there were any video games. That's right. Before Sega. Before Nintendo. And long before Microsoft! Back then there was just some guy who was into computers. But they weren't computhers like we have today. No, they were big like huge machines and they didn't do much. Like you could maybe get it to add or subtract but they weren't even able to multiply or divide so they weren't much help for kids with homework. Plus they were really expensive, so kids didn't have them anyway! haha! Anyway, this guy who started Atari was bored with computers one day and said "Hey I know, let me try making a game I can play on my computer" and that's just what he did. HIs favorite game ever was ping pong and he played it every week but because he worked on computers all day he didn't have time, so he said "Let me just make a poing pong game for the computer!" and he worked day and night until he created Pong! And that's the story of how Pong was made!
You probably know what POng is but just in case let me giv eyou some information on how you play Pong. Back when the guy who made Atari created Pong they didn't have keyboards and mouse for computers so he had to use what they had which were knobs. So you turn the knob one way or the other to move a block on screen. The block is supposed to be your paddle in ping pong. You'll have to excuse the bad graphcis because they couldn't do any better back then because their computers had bad screens! haha! There are two rectangles, one on each side and you hit a small square, which is supposed to be the ball back and forth like ina real ping pong match. I know that words like rectangles and squares can make you think of math and get scared but don't be! haha! "CAN YOU START A RALLY WITH THE BALL?" The object of the game is to get the highest score and beat the other player. You might think that I wouldn't like a game like Pong because it has bad graphics but you'd be wrong! haha! I'm the best Pong player in Fresno and nobody has ever beaten me! haha!
The guy who made Pong knew he had smoething good on his hands because the guys in his office couldn't stop playing. In fact they played so much that they weren't getting any work done on computers. He was like "Hey guys! We've got work to do here! What have I started!" haha! So he said "That's it, I'm erasing it from the computer" and everyone was sad, but what they didn't know is he had a secret plan. He was gonig to sell the game to people to play in thier homes and that required a lot of work. He had to start a company named Atari but he kept it a secret and didn't get a lot of sleep because he would work on Pong for peoples home after the guys in his computer office wen thome. Maybe he drank lots of coffee! haha! Anyway he eventually created a prototype of Pong for homes and sent it to a factory in China and they made copies and put them in boxes so he could sell them. Pong because the most popular game in the world until Pac-Man and Tetris came out and beat it. But it's still pretty popular beleive it or not!
That was my METAL REVIEW of Pong, thank you for reading it and being a loyal fan. I'm a lot happier now because Samantha and I are no longer fighting. If you remember I tried to do an April Fool joke on her and called her a "whore" but she didn't think it was funny. So I went to the grocery store and got her flowers and told her I'm sorry a lot of times. Now we're boyfriend and girlfirend again and all is good with life! haha! Let's just say that I won at Pong last night "IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!" haha! If it weren't for the guy who made Atari and his love of ping pong we'd hever have video games. So that means no Xbox-360, Playstation3, or Nintendo Wii if he didn't make Pong! Pretty amazing and scary too! haha! So until next time my fans this is Metal Steve heading out. Remember as Metal Steve says: "WE NEED TO RESPECT OUR ELDERS, EVEN IN VIDEO GAMES!" Later!
Monday, March 31, 2008
Metal Steve Reviews Rock Band
As you all know I play guitar in a band called Mighty Talon who plays METAL exclusively. We don't mix in anything else but instead it's pure METAL that rips everynoe else to shreds. One of my fans said "Hey Steve you should try out Rock Band" and I said "Hey why do I need to play that when I'm already in a METAL band?" haha! But I took him up on his offer and went to his apartment to play it but only because he said he'd have free beer there. He didn't warn me it'd be Coors though and I was not too impressed with it! haha! I thought that being in a METAL band myself I would be the perfect person to review Rock Band but I should have known better since it's called ROCK Band and not METAL Band that iw ouldn't be very good. So sit back and prepare yourself for my METAL REVIEW of Rock Band for the XBox-360. The game is also on the Playstation3 and here's a Metal Steve rumor for you. It's coming for the Nintendo Wii but Nintendo is keeping this a secret right now for some reason.
In Rock Band for the Xbox-360 you can play guitar, bass, microphone, or drums. I brought my drummer Eric with me to try out the drums while I figured I'd play guitar. When I picked up the guitar though I was like "What is this crap?" Instead of strings it's just 5 big buttons that you press instead. That's not a guitar it's a toy! haha! Eric told me the drums suck big time, too! He sat down and was like "Whoa Steve this crap doesn't even have a high hat or cymbals." Plus he was upset there was no double bass pedal so that he could perform his patented machinegun bass drumming while I performed my patented finger tapping over his machinegun bass drumming. What a gip! Plus everything feesl totally cheap like it was made for little kids or something.
We tried to have fun though but I'm sorry if you'r ein a METAL band and someone says "Here Steve play guitar with this toy" you can't have fun. And the songs you can play are all pretty lame. There's not that much METAL to choose from. Most of it is crap like Nirvana or all these other bands I haven't even heard of. I was like "Hey where's the Megadeth? Where's the Pantera?" Where's the Yngwie Malmsteen?" but the guy who invited us over was like "Oh sorry guys but there's Blue Oyster Cult." That is nto METAL people! Rock Band would be a thousand times better if it were METAL Band but they might as well call it POP BAND. haha!
There aren't even music notes or guitar tab on the screen or anything, either! When you play these colored lines come down the screen and you're supposed to press a button at the time they come down the screen. I kept failing the songs and so did Eric and the guy with Rock Band was like "I thought you guys were in a band" which pissed us off. I was like "This is not real music you moron!" and both Eric and I drank the rest of his Coors and left. But we cussed him otu pretty bad first and told him to have fun with his stupid toys. His neighbors got mad that we were making so much noise but get used to it people. Mighty Talon are the loudest METAL band on the planet. Remembe rin that movie Spinal Tap where they crank it up to 11 because it's louder than 10 which was the limit? Well Mighty Talon takes it up to 12! We're the loudest! haha!
So now you know why Rock Band is stupid and you shouldn't waste your time on it. If you're METAL like me it's an insult actually. There's no reason to play with those plastic toys unless you're a baby and can't play real instruments like me and my bandmates in Mighty Talon. They should just call it "Fake Band" haha! I hope the guys who made Rock Band are embarassed of themselves and stop wastinmg our time with these pointless games. Go play some real instruments guys! haha! That is all for now, my faithful fans. Until later this is Metal Steve signing off. Remember, as Metal Steve says, "YOU CAN'T FAKE THE REAL THING SO PUT AWAY THE TOYS AND BRING THE NOISE!" Later!
In Rock Band for the Xbox-360 you can play guitar, bass, microphone, or drums. I brought my drummer Eric with me to try out the drums while I figured I'd play guitar. When I picked up the guitar though I was like "What is this crap?" Instead of strings it's just 5 big buttons that you press instead. That's not a guitar it's a toy! haha! Eric told me the drums suck big time, too! He sat down and was like "Whoa Steve this crap doesn't even have a high hat or cymbals." Plus he was upset there was no double bass pedal so that he could perform his patented machinegun bass drumming while I performed my patented finger tapping over his machinegun bass drumming. What a gip! Plus everything feesl totally cheap like it was made for little kids or something.
We tried to have fun though but I'm sorry if you'r ein a METAL band and someone says "Here Steve play guitar with this toy" you can't have fun. And the songs you can play are all pretty lame. There's not that much METAL to choose from. Most of it is crap like Nirvana or all these other bands I haven't even heard of. I was like "Hey where's the Megadeth? Where's the Pantera?" Where's the Yngwie Malmsteen?" but the guy who invited us over was like "Oh sorry guys but there's Blue Oyster Cult." That is nto METAL people! Rock Band would be a thousand times better if it were METAL Band but they might as well call it POP BAND. haha!
There aren't even music notes or guitar tab on the screen or anything, either! When you play these colored lines come down the screen and you're supposed to press a button at the time they come down the screen. I kept failing the songs and so did Eric and the guy with Rock Band was like "I thought you guys were in a band" which pissed us off. I was like "This is not real music you moron!" and both Eric and I drank the rest of his Coors and left. But we cussed him otu pretty bad first and told him to have fun with his stupid toys. His neighbors got mad that we were making so much noise but get used to it people. Mighty Talon are the loudest METAL band on the planet. Remembe rin that movie Spinal Tap where they crank it up to 11 because it's louder than 10 which was the limit? Well Mighty Talon takes it up to 12! We're the loudest! haha!
So now you know why Rock Band is stupid and you shouldn't waste your time on it. If you're METAL like me it's an insult actually. There's no reason to play with those plastic toys unless you're a baby and can't play real instruments like me and my bandmates in Mighty Talon. They should just call it "Fake Band" haha! I hope the guys who made Rock Band are embarassed of themselves and stop wastinmg our time with these pointless games. Go play some real instruments guys! haha! That is all for now, my faithful fans. Until later this is Metal Steve signing off. Remember, as Metal Steve says, "YOU CAN'T FAKE THE REAL THING SO PUT AWAY THE TOYS AND BRING THE NOISE!" Later!
Monday, March 24, 2008
Metal Steve Reviews Geometry Wars Galaxies
Hey everyone! It's time for another METAL REVIEW and here to give you the goods is yours truly, Metal Steve! Today I want to tell you about an absoultely incredible game that you may not have heard of before. It is called Geometry Wars Galaxies for the Nintendo Wii. But before I tell you about the game I thought I'd update you about Eric, the drummer for my band Mighty Talon. If you remember last time I told you about how Eric forgot how to drum and was in danger of being kicked out of Mighty Talon unless he remembered how to drum. I went into practice the next day and said "Hey Eric, what's wrong? Did your hymen break yet?" haha! Eric got so angry that he started pounding on his drums in anger but it made him remember how to drum! He was like, "Thanks Steve! Now I won't be kicked out of Mighty Talon!" I thought you would all appreciate that story if you like happy endings. Plus, I'm not mad any longer! haha!
OK let's get down to business. Geometry Wars was originally a game for the Xbox-360 but Nintendo stole it and put it on the Nintendo Wii. They called the company that makes Geometry Wars and said "How about putting it on our system? You can even sell it on a disc!" This was what made the guys who make Geometry Wars make a game for the Nintendo Wii. Microsoft made them put it out on the Internet only, so people had to download it. But on the Nintendo Wii they could put it on a disc and sell it in stores, which means more money. Everyone likes money! haha! So they made a new game called Geometry Wars Galaxies for the NIntendo Wii and the rest is history.
Now that you know why it's on the Nintendo Wii and not the Xbox-360, we can talk about if the game is even any good or not. "WAS IT WORTH THE WAIT?" Yes it was! You probably would think the game is sucky if you saw the graphics because it looks like Asteroids or something. But let me tell you something. This game uses all of the power of the Nintendo Wii. You might say "Hey Steve, it's just a bunch of lines!" but you're wrong. Lik ethe name implies Geometry Wars Galaxies uses geometry to run the game. But don't think it's like the geometry class you took in high school. Hey, I failed that class too! haha! But it doesn't matte rif you are good at math or not. It's just geometry that the game makers used to build the game. But it's super difficult geometry that even the top math expert couldn't do! If the top math expert saw the game being made they'd probably be like "Whoa even I can't do that!" haha! But lucky for us the Nintendo Wii can do math so well that it can run Geometry Wars Galaxies.
I said Geometry Wars Galaxies kind of looks like Asteroids and that's pretty much the type of game this is. You control a ship and just blast all kinds of bad guys and try to get the top score. The game is called Geometry Wars Galaxies because you travel through the galaxy and blast all kinds of differnet enemies in each galaxy. Every galaxy has different music and colors, so you never get bored. Can you get the top score? Here's a Metal Steve tip. I kind of don't want to tell you because I don't want you to beat my score, but I'm a nice guy what can I say? haha! Are you ready? Here it is. Go get a classic controller for the Nintendo Wii. It's easier to control your ship and blast enemies that way. But don't go beating my score becuase I'll be mad at you! haha! No I'm just kidding. Go ahead and see if you have what it takes to beat the mighty METAL STEVE. No pretenders to the throne will be spared! haha!
I hope you enjoyed reading my METAL REVIEW of Geometry Wars Galaxies for the Nintendo Wii. Before reading my review you might have said "What game is that?" but now I hope you go out and buy it. But just don't expect to beat my score unless you've got what it takes. Did I mention that you can up load your scores via the Nintendo WiFi connection and see how you compete with the players from across the world? That is a really awesome feature but you have to have wireless internet in your home. Since I'm a tech guru you can bet that I have that! haha! Maybe you can up load yours core and see if you can compete with METAL STEVE. Just don't go crying to your mom if you find out I've crushed your best score! haha! OK my faithful fans, until next time this is Metal Steve saying farewell. As Metal Steve says, "EVEN IF YOU HATE MATH SOMETIMES IT CAN BE USED FOR GOOD." Later!
OK let's get down to business. Geometry Wars was originally a game for the Xbox-360 but Nintendo stole it and put it on the Nintendo Wii. They called the company that makes Geometry Wars and said "How about putting it on our system? You can even sell it on a disc!" This was what made the guys who make Geometry Wars make a game for the Nintendo Wii. Microsoft made them put it out on the Internet only, so people had to download it. But on the Nintendo Wii they could put it on a disc and sell it in stores, which means more money. Everyone likes money! haha! So they made a new game called Geometry Wars Galaxies for the NIntendo Wii and the rest is history.
Now that you know why it's on the Nintendo Wii and not the Xbox-360, we can talk about if the game is even any good or not. "WAS IT WORTH THE WAIT?" Yes it was! You probably would think the game is sucky if you saw the graphics because it looks like Asteroids or something. But let me tell you something. This game uses all of the power of the Nintendo Wii. You might say "Hey Steve, it's just a bunch of lines!" but you're wrong. Lik ethe name implies Geometry Wars Galaxies uses geometry to run the game. But don't think it's like the geometry class you took in high school. Hey, I failed that class too! haha! But it doesn't matte rif you are good at math or not. It's just geometry that the game makers used to build the game. But it's super difficult geometry that even the top math expert couldn't do! If the top math expert saw the game being made they'd probably be like "Whoa even I can't do that!" haha! But lucky for us the Nintendo Wii can do math so well that it can run Geometry Wars Galaxies.
I said Geometry Wars Galaxies kind of looks like Asteroids and that's pretty much the type of game this is. You control a ship and just blast all kinds of bad guys and try to get the top score. The game is called Geometry Wars Galaxies because you travel through the galaxy and blast all kinds of differnet enemies in each galaxy. Every galaxy has different music and colors, so you never get bored. Can you get the top score? Here's a Metal Steve tip. I kind of don't want to tell you because I don't want you to beat my score, but I'm a nice guy what can I say? haha! Are you ready? Here it is. Go get a classic controller for the Nintendo Wii. It's easier to control your ship and blast enemies that way. But don't go beating my score becuase I'll be mad at you! haha! No I'm just kidding. Go ahead and see if you have what it takes to beat the mighty METAL STEVE. No pretenders to the throne will be spared! haha!
I hope you enjoyed reading my METAL REVIEW of Geometry Wars Galaxies for the Nintendo Wii. Before reading my review you might have said "What game is that?" but now I hope you go out and buy it. But just don't expect to beat my score unless you've got what it takes. Did I mention that you can up load your scores via the Nintendo WiFi connection and see how you compete with the players from across the world? That is a really awesome feature but you have to have wireless internet in your home. Since I'm a tech guru you can bet that I have that! haha! Maybe you can up load yours core and see if you can compete with METAL STEVE. Just don't go crying to your mom if you find out I've crushed your best score! haha! OK my faithful fans, until next time this is Metal Steve saying farewell. As Metal Steve says, "EVEN IF YOU HATE MATH SOMETIMES IT CAN BE USED FOR GOOD." Later!
Friday, March 21, 2008
Metal Steve Reviews Super Smash Bros. Brawl
Yesterday you all read my METAL REVIEW of Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games. You might have said "How can the world handle more than one cross over between Nintendo and Sega!" but get ready to have your mind blown because there is yet another game for the Nintendo Wii that features Super Mario and Sonic the Hedgehog together. That game is called Super Smash Bros. Brawl and it has quickly become the number 1 game ever to be released on the Nintendo Wii. It might even be the number 1 game in history soon. So sit back and relax, because I'm proud to present you with my METAL REVIEW of Super Smash Bros. Brawl for the Nintendo Wii. Like the announcre says in After Burner when your jet is leaving the air craft carrier: "GET READY!" haha!
Let me first give you a history lesson about Super Smash Bros. Brawl. This is not the first or even second game that has come out called Super Smash Bros. It is the third one with the other two being for the Nintendo 64 and the Nintendo Gamecube. A lot of people might say "Hold on! Do I need to play those other ones first because I haven't!" Dont worry! You can play Super Smash Bros. Brawl without ever having play the original two games so there is no problem for both old timers like me and new players that have never held the controller before! But us old timers will probably jsut beat the new players. Sorry that's just the way it goes! haha!
Now don't get confused if you buy the game and Sonic the Hedgehog is not available to select for fighting. See, you have to unlock him in the game. Game companies put secrets into games that us hard core gamers call "unlockables." But maybe Nintendo is still fighting with Sega and that is why Sonic the Hedgehog has to be unlocked. haha! Here's a Metal Steve game tip. The fastest way to unlock Sonic the Hedgehog is by clearing the "Classic Mode" 10 times with 10 different characters. But that's a secret and I don't know if Nintendo wants anyone to know about that! So we'll just keep that betwee you and me. Dont' tell! haha! I don't want to get in trouble for spilling all of Nintendo's deep dark secrets.
Now that you know how to unlock Sonic the Hedgehog I can move on. Let's talk about what this game is exactly. Super Smash Bros. Brawl is a fighting game where every single Nintendo character ever created fights in all the Nintendo games ever created. Well almost all of them. Nintendo might have forgot to put some in. Like I said "Hey where's Duck Hunt!" but that's OK because they need to keep something for the next Super Smash Bros. game! haha! Four peole can play at once and to beat the game you have to win the battles by being the best fighter., or "The Last Man STanding" to put it that way! "CAN YOU BEAT THE OTHERS?"
Nintendo knows that everybody likes to play games their own way, so they were nice enough to put not two or three but FOUR different ways to play. Yes you read that right. FOUR ways to play. You can hold the Wii controller three different ways or you can use a Gamecube controller. Dont' worry, though, because they all work well. I like to use a Gamecube controller because that's what work sfor me, but if that's not your thing that's cool! Some people hate the Gamecube and think it's for kids only but those people are idiots! haha!
You might think "Hey Steve, who else can I play as in this game"?" Well I'm glad you were kind enough to ask! You can play as pretty much every Nintendo character you can think of. There's Mario, Pikachu, Donkey Kong, and even some weird ones you might not know about like the dude from Pikmin and the "guy" from Metroid. I put "guy" in quotations because that "He" is really a "She" which is something a lot of people don't know. And here's another Metal Steve secret. You can even play as Solid Snake from the Metal Gear games. But like Sonic the Hedgehog you have to unlock Solid Snake. That's top secret info straight from me to you. And I should tell you the best way to unlock him. Just play the Metal Gear level over and over and soon Solid Snake will be unlocked. You were probably thinking "Why do they have this Metal Gear level in this game? That's crazy!" But now you know! haha. I also like Solid Snake because his game is called METAL GEAR and I love METAL!
I know, I know. I haven't talked about if the game is good or not. Well don't worry, my faithful fans. This game is totally amazing. It has the best graphics on the Nintendo Wii. It's like Nintendo said "Let's pull out all the stops!" and used every single bit availale on the Nintendo Wii. Remember I told you the Super Nintendo Entertainment System or "SNES" as hard core gamers call it was 16-bits? Well prepare to be blown away because the Wii has at least 10 times the amount of bits! That's a lot of horsepower. It might not be as powerful as the Playstaiton3 or Xbox-360 but after playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl you might even say "PLAYSTATION3 WHO?" haha! To summarize, Super Smash Bros. Brawl is a dream come true for people who like incredible fighting games.
So there you have it, another METAL REVIEW from your pal Metal Steve. I know you read my reviews because you want the best ther eis, without all the bull that other game reviews give you. I hope I delivered because I think I did! So until next time, this is Metal Steve sighing off on another geniune METAL REVIEW. Don't forget, as Metal Steve says: "ONLY THE TOP WARRIORS WILL BE STANDING AT THE END." Later!
Let me first give you a history lesson about Super Smash Bros. Brawl. This is not the first or even second game that has come out called Super Smash Bros. It is the third one with the other two being for the Nintendo 64 and the Nintendo Gamecube. A lot of people might say "Hold on! Do I need to play those other ones first because I haven't!" Dont worry! You can play Super Smash Bros. Brawl without ever having play the original two games so there is no problem for both old timers like me and new players that have never held the controller before! But us old timers will probably jsut beat the new players. Sorry that's just the way it goes! haha!
Now don't get confused if you buy the game and Sonic the Hedgehog is not available to select for fighting. See, you have to unlock him in the game. Game companies put secrets into games that us hard core gamers call "unlockables." But maybe Nintendo is still fighting with Sega and that is why Sonic the Hedgehog has to be unlocked. haha! Here's a Metal Steve game tip. The fastest way to unlock Sonic the Hedgehog is by clearing the "Classic Mode" 10 times with 10 different characters. But that's a secret and I don't know if Nintendo wants anyone to know about that! So we'll just keep that betwee you and me. Dont' tell! haha! I don't want to get in trouble for spilling all of Nintendo's deep dark secrets.
Now that you know how to unlock Sonic the Hedgehog I can move on. Let's talk about what this game is exactly. Super Smash Bros. Brawl is a fighting game where every single Nintendo character ever created fights in all the Nintendo games ever created. Well almost all of them. Nintendo might have forgot to put some in. Like I said "Hey where's Duck Hunt!" but that's OK because they need to keep something for the next Super Smash Bros. game! haha! Four peole can play at once and to beat the game you have to win the battles by being the best fighter., or "The Last Man STanding" to put it that way! "CAN YOU BEAT THE OTHERS?"
Nintendo knows that everybody likes to play games their own way, so they were nice enough to put not two or three but FOUR different ways to play. Yes you read that right. FOUR ways to play. You can hold the Wii controller three different ways or you can use a Gamecube controller. Dont' worry, though, because they all work well. I like to use a Gamecube controller because that's what work sfor me, but if that's not your thing that's cool! Some people hate the Gamecube and think it's for kids only but those people are idiots! haha!
You might think "Hey Steve, who else can I play as in this game"?" Well I'm glad you were kind enough to ask! You can play as pretty much every Nintendo character you can think of. There's Mario, Pikachu, Donkey Kong, and even some weird ones you might not know about like the dude from Pikmin and the "guy" from Metroid. I put "guy" in quotations because that "He" is really a "She" which is something a lot of people don't know. And here's another Metal Steve secret. You can even play as Solid Snake from the Metal Gear games. But like Sonic the Hedgehog you have to unlock Solid Snake. That's top secret info straight from me to you. And I should tell you the best way to unlock him. Just play the Metal Gear level over and over and soon Solid Snake will be unlocked. You were probably thinking "Why do they have this Metal Gear level in this game? That's crazy!" But now you know! haha. I also like Solid Snake because his game is called METAL GEAR and I love METAL!
I know, I know. I haven't talked about if the game is good or not. Well don't worry, my faithful fans. This game is totally amazing. It has the best graphics on the Nintendo Wii. It's like Nintendo said "Let's pull out all the stops!" and used every single bit availale on the Nintendo Wii. Remember I told you the Super Nintendo Entertainment System or "SNES" as hard core gamers call it was 16-bits? Well prepare to be blown away because the Wii has at least 10 times the amount of bits! That's a lot of horsepower. It might not be as powerful as the Playstaiton3 or Xbox-360 but after playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl you might even say "PLAYSTATION3 WHO?" haha! To summarize, Super Smash Bros. Brawl is a dream come true for people who like incredible fighting games.
So there you have it, another METAL REVIEW from your pal Metal Steve. I know you read my reviews because you want the best ther eis, without all the bull that other game reviews give you. I hope I delivered because I think I did! So until next time, this is Metal Steve sighing off on another geniune METAL REVIEW. Don't forget, as Metal Steve says: "ONLY THE TOP WARRIORS WILL BE STANDING AT THE END." Later!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Metal Steve Reviews Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games
After my reviews of Super Mario World for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System and Sonic the Hedgehog for the Sega Genesis you might be saying to yourself, "Wow! This guy only likes older games. I wonder if he even knows about the new games!" haha! But don't worry my faithful fans because Metal Steve is a real gamer and plays everything, even the new games that you may not have heard of befroe. My newest METAL REVIEW is about Sonic and Mario at the Olympic Games which is out on the Nintendo Wii. I can't admit that I really liked this game but keep reading and you will see why.
Let me first give some history on why this game was even made. Sony and Microsoft both have really powerful systems out called the Playstation3 and the Xbox-360 and Nintendo has a system called The Nintendo Wii that is not as powerful. So NIntendo knew they had to do something special. They called Sega and were like, "Hey guys, we need your help to take down the competition. You know what that means, it's time to team up with our two best characters and take down the competition!" So Sega and Nintendo formed a team and put Sonic the Hedgehog and Mario in the same game. They decided to make it an Olympics game because that is the most popular thing in the world and everyone loves the Olympics. They were like, "What can we do to make sure this is a game that can topple Playstation3 and Xbox-360? Set it at the Olympics!"
OK now that we have the history of the game ou tof the way, it is time to move onto my METAL REVIEW of the game. I don't really like the game because it is pretty much just swinging the controller really fast to get first in running races and swimming. It gets kind of tiring and my arms hurt. So I don't really like that. There was a game for the Nintendo Entertaniment System called "TRACK AND FIELD" that made you push the buttons really fast in order to win races, but that was more fun than swinging the controller back and forth. I know you're probably saying "Hey Steve you're just lazy" but I assure you that it's not just because it's tiring that I don't like it. It's because it's just not fun. And that's a Metal Steve promise, which is as good as gold!
My girlfriend Samantha likes Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games a lot and that is the one reason why I keep the game in my collection. I would trade it and get something more my style but no, my girlfriend likes it and plays it a lot. But that's OK because when she plays the gaem and shakes really fast I like watching her. "If you know what I mean!" wink! haha! She had a couple friends from work over and they played it and I was just sitting and drinking a beer while watching them and thinking to myself "Now I see why Nintendo and Sega made this game! Perverts!" haha! But hey, can you blame them? Samantha doesn't like to play games that much but when she plays Sonic and Mario at the Olympic Games I just sit back and thinking "AWESOME!"
So that is Metal Steve's METAL REVIEW of Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games. If you're a hard core gamer like me you probably will not like it but if you have a girlfriend she will probably like it and you will like watching her shake the controller. haha! So until next time, this is Metal Steve signing off. Remember. As Metal Steve says: "SOMETIMES IT'S MORE FUN TO WATCH THAN PLAY!" haha! Later!
Let me first give some history on why this game was even made. Sony and Microsoft both have really powerful systems out called the Playstation3 and the Xbox-360 and Nintendo has a system called The Nintendo Wii that is not as powerful. So NIntendo knew they had to do something special. They called Sega and were like, "Hey guys, we need your help to take down the competition. You know what that means, it's time to team up with our two best characters and take down the competition!" So Sega and Nintendo formed a team and put Sonic the Hedgehog and Mario in the same game. They decided to make it an Olympics game because that is the most popular thing in the world and everyone loves the Olympics. They were like, "What can we do to make sure this is a game that can topple Playstation3 and Xbox-360? Set it at the Olympics!"
OK now that we have the history of the game ou tof the way, it is time to move onto my METAL REVIEW of the game. I don't really like the game because it is pretty much just swinging the controller really fast to get first in running races and swimming. It gets kind of tiring and my arms hurt. So I don't really like that. There was a game for the Nintendo Entertaniment System called "TRACK AND FIELD" that made you push the buttons really fast in order to win races, but that was more fun than swinging the controller back and forth. I know you're probably saying "Hey Steve you're just lazy" but I assure you that it's not just because it's tiring that I don't like it. It's because it's just not fun. And that's a Metal Steve promise, which is as good as gold!
My girlfriend Samantha likes Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games a lot and that is the one reason why I keep the game in my collection. I would trade it and get something more my style but no, my girlfriend likes it and plays it a lot. But that's OK because when she plays the gaem and shakes really fast I like watching her. "If you know what I mean!" wink! haha! She had a couple friends from work over and they played it and I was just sitting and drinking a beer while watching them and thinking to myself "Now I see why Nintendo and Sega made this game! Perverts!" haha! But hey, can you blame them? Samantha doesn't like to play games that much but when she plays Sonic and Mario at the Olympic Games I just sit back and thinking "AWESOME!"
So that is Metal Steve's METAL REVIEW of Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games. If you're a hard core gamer like me you probably will not like it but if you have a girlfriend she will probably like it and you will like watching her shake the controller. haha! So until next time, this is Metal Steve signing off. Remember. As Metal Steve says: "SOMETIMES IT'S MORE FUN TO WATCH THAN PLAY!" haha! Later!
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