Metal Steve is Back from Prison!

 Hello my faithful followers. Your king Metal Steve is back! Remember when I reuviewed Super Mario Odyssey for the nIntendo Switch and was like "I WILL PROBABLY GOTO PRISON FOR THIS!" well, guess what? Nintendo really do have ninjas they sned to take revenge for spilling all their secrets.. It seems that Miyamoto did not findd it okay that I unveiled the Konami Code. But informahtion wants to be frfee!!!

But don't worry because in prison I lift weights evrey day and got super buff! Haha! I need to pay a visit to "Platimnum" Daniel because he and my (ex!!!) girlfriend Samantha we're hooking up while poor Steve was in the slammer. "DARKNESS, IMPRISONING ME, ALL THAT I SEE, ASBOLUTE HORROR!" An all time classic quote that sums it all up.

So Daniel.. Metal Steve is comign for you! As Metal Steve says: "YOU MESS WITH THE BULLL YOU GET THE HORNS!" Here is a photo of me pretending to be Hagar from Final fIght! Hey Daniel you are the oil drum get it? Later!

Metal Steve Reviews Super Mario Galaxy 2

I'm sorry for my absense, faithful fans, but your old buddy Metal Steve's life has been a total whirlwind lately LITERALLY. haha! First, my band Mighty Talon might be on the verge of a breakup thanks to our stpuiod lead singer "Platinum" Daniel getting married. He called me the other day and was like, 'Hey Steve I think I can't come to practiec this week because my wife wants me to be home with her" and I was like "WHAT THE HELL?" There is a saing rap guys like to use that I think is approprriate here: "BRO'S BEFORE HO'S." Well, when I told that to "Platinum" Daniel he got all mad and was like "Steve come on man don't call Donna a ho" and I wasl ike "Later!" and hung up on him. But the thing is nobody cna really sing like "Platinum" Daniel so I don't know what to do now. Maybe you the fans can advise me! What about Mighty Talon as an all instrucmental band? Would you like that? "CAST YOUR VOTE, MY LEGIENS!" haha!

Well, you are pobably wondering how I'm able to write a METAL REVIEW of a game that's not even in stores yet? Well let's just say your fearless leader Metal Steev has a trick or two up his slevse and a contact at a certain big video game company that rhymes with Intendo! haha! So yes, the wait is over, I am hereby proud to unveil the first review ever of Super Mario Galxy 2 and not just a review, but a METAL REVIEW at that! You won't find a review in your copy of Gamepro or Nintendo Power, I will tell you that! haha! At least not yet because I'm sure at some point they will get what we in the video game industyr call "Review Copies" of the game but for now gameriffs.blogspot.com is your only place to find any indpeth info9rmation about Super Mario Galaxy 2. So let's go on with this already! "TAKE IT FROM THE TOP!"

Now I must warn you that Ninteodo is going to be totally PISSED that I'm going to blow the lid off this game, so to speak but thats what happens when you are the top video game writer. You have to take one for the team! But did you know Ninteodo is really run by gangsters from Japan? It's true! They are led by the Japanese gang called Yakuza and Yakuza might see my METAL REVIEW and say "We need to getthis guy for spililng the beans!" and so if you don't hear from me maybe Yakuza has gotten me! Also Nintendo has gangsters here in the USA too! It's the truth and its kind of scary! At E3 years ago, which is this big event where all the vidoe game journalist learn about new video games Nintendo brougth out this big black guy named Reggie who cussed at the crowd and scared every one. He was like "Fuck You my name is Reggie!" and told everyone he was going to kick thier ass! This is real you can find a You Tube video to see it if you want! When I heard that I wasl ike, "Whoa, I thought Nitnendo was a kid's company" but now I know better. They are gangsters! haha!

So gangsters like money, right? "WE'RE ONLY IN IT FOR THE CASH BABY!" I think that's how a rap song goes. Well Super Mario Galaxy the originla one was the biggest selling game on Wii and Nintendo said "Let's make another one and make lot's of money!" but the guy who made it named Miyamoto who is the wordl's best video gamde designer wanted to do something new. But his boss said "We need to make money or Yakuza will get mad" so he was forced to make another one. Lucky for us he did though because Super Mario Galaxy 2 is the best game Nitnendo has ever made. If you take all of the good stuff from the Super Mario Galaxy and double or tripe it you have Super Mario Galaxy 2. The game takes place in space like the first Super Mario Galayx but there are all kinds of new planetts to go to and new people to see.

Now I don'tw antto spoil too much for you but I will tell you one big suprise that Nintendo hasn't told anyone yet. In SuperMario Galaxy 2 there is a return of a certain green friend from some old games. You are probably like "But Steve Luigi was in teh last game!" No I'm not takling about Luigi! I don't wnat to give it away but let's just say it is a certain dinosaur that you can ride and eat bad gusy with and lucky for you he can live in space just like Mario. Seriously how do thees guys not need air? "IT'S A MEE MAGICAL MARIO! I CAN A BREATH IN SPACE!" haha! You heard it here first folks. I bet your copy of Gameprop didn't have that juicy bit of information in it! "METAL STEVE TO THE RESCUE!"

The game is really long and will keep you bussy for a really long time. My secret friend at Nitnenod gave me the game almost a week ago and I have been woking very hard to finish it and finally I got most of the stars. Some of them are kind of imposssible though and I have to say "MIYAMOTO WHY DID YOU MAKE THIS PARTS SO HARD?!?!" haha! But the guy is a genius so I wont question hsi work. Since I haven't gotten every start I don't know if it unlocks anything special if you get every star but I think it probably does. But since I'm so good at video games and I haven't gotten every star it will probably be hard for average players to get every star. But my advice is keep trying. 'ONLY THE WEAK GIVE UP!" haha!

So now you have read the first review of Super Mario Galaxy 2 and lucky for you it was a METAL REVIEW from your most trutsted source Metal Steve. Just remember you king Metal Steve will never lead you asatray and my final word on this game is "GET $50 AND GO BUY THIS GMAE THE DAY IT COMES OUT IN STORES OR YOU WILL BE SORRY!" Yes the game is that good. Miyamoto has out done himself even if he was forced to maek this game for money and lucky for us we now have the best Nintedno game ever made to play. Syure it might seem impossible to get every last star but I have a feeling that when you do it'll be worth it. Remember, as your friend Metal Steve says, "IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCEED TRY TRY AGAIN AND YOU WILL GET EVERY LAST STAR!" Now I'm off to get the last few stars myself so I'm signing off. And hopefully Yakuza or Reggie don't get me! haha! Later!

Metal Steve Reviews Muscle March

Buckle your seatbleslts everyone because Metal Steve has a crazy tale that has transpired since last we met in my METAL REVIEW of Muramasa The Demon Blade for the Nintendoi Wii. You see, not only did I break up with my girlfriend or should I say EX-GLIRFRIEND Samantha but now I need to find a new drummer for my band Mighty Talon because I kicked our drummer Eric out of the band! A lot has transpired since the last 24 hours folks and Metal Steve is here to tell you the tale but hey I know you come here for METAL REVEIWS too so your pal Metal Steve will quickly tell you what transpired then get on with a METAL REVIEW for you! Okay, so let's do this. "SIR PLEASE RELAY WHAT HAPPENED MY KING!" And indeed I will! haha!

Last night Samantha told me she's sad she can't get pregnant after trying so much and I was like, "hey baby, I guess you girls just can't swim" and she got all upset and told me I wasn't being suppoirutifve and that I was going to make a terrible father. So that got me angry and I wsa like "Youi know what, why don't you go make a baby yourself then!" and then told her that hse was probably the problem because I can get plenty of chicks pregnant if I wanted. She told me to get out and yeah, well, whatever. You know the rest. No need to bore you with the detail of what transpired beyond that! haha! Just jsut say that your pal Steve is know on the market so if your girolfriend or wife breaks up with you to go for a rock star guitar player in the band Mighty Talon don't come crawling to me in tears because you hvae been warned! haha! LOL!

By now you might be saying "Whoa, Steve, where is the METAL REVIEW you promised us. Don't leave suhanging here!" and to that I say, "Patience is a virtew my loyal subjects just hang tight I'm getting to it!" haha! So I wnet to crash at my drummer Eric's apartment and he was playing his Nintendo Wii when I got there but what my eyes witness, my loayal subjects I cannot even dare describe. But because you come to yoru pal Metal Steve for his famous METAL REVIEWS I will be brave nad describe the horrible sights my eyes saw.

Eric was playing this game called Muslce March where you have to mke these gay muscle guys march through walls. Now beofre you get upset nad say "Steve, don't call people gay that's mean!" remember that I totally support gays and if I could vote I'd totally vote to let them even get married! Mighty Talon even played at a gay bar once and to the gay's credit they didn't even try to have sex with any of us because they knew we were straight and liked chicks! So you can say that Steve is even a supporter of gays. But that doens't mean I want to watch some gay msucle guys run through walls.

I was like "Eric let's play something else" but he was totally hypnotised by those guay muscle guys as they ran through walls and I was like "Eric, dude you've got to stop man, you can't watch this stuff any longer." Its not that Eric was playing a gay game that got me mad it's thatt the game is totally stupid and you just make gay muslce guys run through walls and that is totally stupid. I was like, "Who made this game?" haha! It turns out Namco Bandai made the game and even though I respect them for making other good games Muscle March is enguhgh to make me thinkg "Whoa, there si something in the water at Namco Bandai that is making them make sucky games about muslce guys who are gay running throguh walls!"

I told Eric he could choose between his precious Muscle March or playing drums for Mighty Talon and he was like "Steve you ca'tn be serious" and I was like, "Oh yes I am." Well, you can probably guess why Eric is no longer the drummer for Mithy Talon! haha! "WE ONLY WANT REAL MUSICIANS, NOT FREAKS." He was like "Nobody would kcik me out of a band for playing a game" and I was like "Watch me!" and slammed the door before going to my singer "Platinum" Daniel's house to crash. When I told him that I kicked Eric out of the band he was like "You did the right thing Steve, we dnon't need a guy like that behind the kit." haha!

So now you have read my METAL REVIEW of why Muslce March for the Nintendo Wii is a bad game and shouldn't be played. Even if you are gay and like looking at gay muscle guys I would say to avoids this game beacuse all you do is make gay msuachle guys run through walls and that is totally stupid! Namco Bandai should be ashamed of themslelves for making such a sucky game, but hey I guess they thought that many gay guys would like Muslce March but I don't think any self respecting gay guy would play a game like Muscle March so I thinkg you should avoid it, evne if you are gay! Remember, as your pal Metal Steve says, "BEING GAY IS OKAY, BUT PLAYING A SUCKY GAME JUST BECHAUSE IT IS GAY IS NOT A GOOD IDEA!" haha! Well, until nex titme, this is your pal Metal Steve signing off. And watch out ladies because Metal Stev eis officially on the prowl! LOL! Later!

Metal Steve Reviews Super Mario Galaxy

A couple days ago "Platinum" Daniel, the singer in my band Mighty Talon made me think about somtehing and I wonder if maybe he is right. I showed him Metal Steve's Game Riffs and told him about how it provides game reviews that are made for "HARDCORE" gamers but he said "Hey STeve whey are there no comments, maybe nobody reads it?" and I said "What do you mean?" Then he showed me how all of my articles say "Comments 0" at the end and I was like "I don't know, maybe there's nothing more to say after my thorough reviews!" haha! But Daniel said he thikns nobody reads this site. That got me kind of mad and I told him to get out of my house but then I started thinking and maybe Daniel is right that nobody reads this site. So if you read this site maybe you can let me know that you like my METAL REVIEWS or maybe I should stop making METAL REVIEWS and stick to just making METAL with Mighty Talon. I wanted to make a site for "HARDCORE" gamers who would say "Man, I'm sick of Gamepro, it's not hardcore enough" and when they'd type gameriffs.blogspot.com into their internet they would be like "Whoat his is so much better than Gamepro let me put that magazine in the trash, I've found a new source for game reviews" and I'd say "You mean METAL REVIEWS!" haha! I know that my faithful fans have go to be reading so I will keep the flame alive "THE SOUL STILL BURNS" haha! So let's get down to business and you can read my METAL REVIEW of Super Mario Galaxy for the Nintendo Wii. And don't be afraid to leave a comment even if you are intimidated by my knowledge! haha!

So as you all know Mario is a character that Nintendo created years ago. The guy who made Mario was really into Italy and wanted to travel there but when he made the original Mario games he was poor because Nintendo wasn't a very big company yet so he said "I know, I'll just put Italy into a game." But the president of Nintendo said "Nobody wants to play a game about Italy!" so the guy who made Mario said "OK, fine but he can be an Italian guy in a game right?" and the president said "Well, OK but give him a job." So the guy who made Mario made Mario a plumber becasue he used to work as a plumber when he was a kid in Japan because his dad was a plumber. That is why he put pipes into the game and mushrooms were his favorite food so he said "Ok let's put tha tin, too, man I wish I could go to Italy and get pizza with mushrooms on it! Oh well!" haha! So that is the history of Mario and why he is a plumber and eatss mushrooms. It's a godo thing Nintendo were poor back then because if the guy who made Mario went to Italy he maybe wouldln't have made Mario in the first place!

So ther ehave been lots of Mario games over the years but Nintendo have only made a few "real" Mario games like Super Mario World, Super Mario Bros, and now Super Mario Galaxy. They don't want people to get sick of Mario so they spread out the "real" games and put one out every seven years. This time they said "I know! Let's put Mario in space!" because the guy who makes Mario always wanted to go to the moon. It was his dream to be an astronaut when he was a kid but his dad said "You have to learn to be a plumber like me" but instead he made games and put in all the stuff he dreamed aobut. So anyway with the new one they said "Let's put Mario in space" but then they had to figure out how to do that. So they said "Mario doesn't need gravity since he's in space!" and so Mario can fly through all the stars. He still has to fight King Koopa and rescute the Princess but now he can fly with the help of the Wii Remote controller. You shake it to make spin and press the button to jump. It's kind of confusing especially when you're drunk! haha! But after playing for a bit you'll think "Wow, so this is what's it's like to live in space!"

Super Mari Galaxy ont he Nintendo Wii has the best graphics ever made for the Nintendo Wii because Nintendo used secrets that nobody else knows about. I don't know for sure but I think they used "MOTION CAPTURE" which is a special method to capture how people move and put that into how Mario flies. They also used advanced graphics chips to make the fire look real and took photos of the starts to make all the stars and planets look real too! It took a lot of work and I bet they were like "We're glad we can wait seven years before making another real Mario game!" haha! The game also has the best music ever in a Nintendo game because this is one of the first games to have real musicians playing the music. There isn't really any heavy metal in there but if you like classical music and catchy music you'll say "Wow, this is pretty good!" And there's a new girl that Mario spends time with who is maybe a rival to the Princess so the Princess is probably jealous! haha! I remember one time after a concert by my band Mighty Talon my girlfriend Samantha got mad because we let some chicks into the back area and one girl was sitting on my lap. Women! haha! That's probably what Mario says when the Princess gets mad. "Mama mia women!" haha!

So now you have read my METAL REVIEW of Super Mario Galaxy for the Nintendo Wii and know why it is such an amazing game. Nintendo wouldn't have Mario though if the guy who made Mario was allowed to go to Italy so be thankfull that he didn't go to Italy back then! That's kind of mean but he has so much money now he can probably buy Italy! haha! And don't worry he's been there over a dozne times. If you own a Nintendo Wii and you don't own Super Mario Galaxy you should go get it otherwise gamers like me will say "Hey what's wrong with you?" haha! And don't be afraid to levae a comment on the site and le tme know you are here even though I know you are. "YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME!" haha! OK my faithful fans, until next time this is your friend Metal Steve bidding you farewell. Remember, as Metal Steve says, "GOING ON VACATION IS FUN, BUT STAYING HOME AND DOING YOUR WORK PAYS OFF IN THE END!" Later!

Metal Steve Reviews Dead Rising

Today I wanted to talk to you about a game the singer for my band Mighty Talon likes a lot, and this game in questions is called Dead Rising. I like the game a lot, too, so I told my band's singer whose name is Daniel, or "Platinum Daniel" as we call him, that he has good taste in games. haha! We call him "Platinum Daniel" because that is how many records we plan to sell when we release our first album once we record it and get it released on a major recdord label. People will go to the CD store and be like "Hey do you guys have the new Mighty Talon CD" and the cashier will be like "Turn around and look behind you." When they turn around they'll see a whole wall with copies of the Mighty Talon album but they'd better be quick to grab a copy because there will be countless screaming fans running to grab a copy! Even black people who like rap and other types of people who don't usually like METAL will have to buy copies and say, "Whoa Steve, I didn't think I liked METAL but this Mighty Talon albummakes me like METAL now!" haha! It's gonig to be pretty awesome, I assure you. But now is not the time to talk about Mighty Talon. No, now is the time to talk about my METAL REVIEW of Dead Rising for the Xbox-360. So sit back nd prepare yourselfs my faithful fans, because my METAL REVIEW of Dead Rising for the Xbox-360 begins now!

The game Dead Rising is about a guy who takes pictures for a living and somehwo he gets stuck in a mall full of zombies in a small town in America. The guy's name is Frank and even though you can take pictures with his camera don't have to use that to fight zombies. Because you're in a mall you can just about anything you can find you can use to fight zombies. So that means you can use dummies they use to model clothes, guns, skateboards, golf clubs, man just about everything you can think of. There are even chainsaws and ninja swords! Plus you can change Frank's clothes but be careful because you might accidentally put him in woman's clothes and that's just not right! Poor Frank! "WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU?" haha! I never know a cross-dresser that wasn't gay but Frank isn't gay so don't dress him like a woman! haha! But I don't hate gays or anything, it's just that Frank is not gay so don't do that to him! haha! But I bet even gays would buy the Mighty Talon CD when it comes out and I always support my fans.

The goal of Dead Rising for the Xbox-360 is to kill every single zombie in the mall. There are also "BOSSES" you have to fight like a clown with chainsaws and "CITIZENS" you have to rescue like fat people and little kids. But if you don't want to rescute the "CITIZENS" you can just choose not to do that if you don't feel like it. It's like "Hey guys I'm sorry but I'm too busy to save you, but there are weapons around the mall why don't you use those?" They're just lazy! haha! If you want to kill all the zombies here's a Metal Steve secret. There is a car hidden in the parking area but you have to find it which is not easy to do! But if you have the car you can run over zombies. It's not really that realistic though because you car doesn't even really take any damage so it lookskind of fake. But killing all the zombies with the car is the easy way to go! I don't know if the makers of Dead Rising want you to know that secret but now you do, thanks to your friend Metal Steve! "LET'S TAKE DOWN THESE ZOMBIES TOGETHER, OK?" haha!

Dead Rising is one of the most violent games ever but since you kill zombies and not living people nobody really cares. The game can be played by little kids and unless they're wimps they wno't be scared. Well not really little kids but I'm talkign like 10 or 12 years old, they can probably play a game like this. Just don't be surprised if they wet their pants from being scared! haha! But just tell him "Hey man, this isn't real so don't be such a wimp!" Well, maybe kids should not play a game like Dead Rising unless they're brave. Ask the kids "ARE YOU BRAVE ENOUGH TO FIGHT ZOMBIES!" but if they don't say "Yes" then don't let them play the game. Adults will really like the game, though, and they should run to get a copy if they don't already own it. Even if they own it, though, they should play it again! haha!

Now you have read my METAL REVIEW of Dead Rising for the Xbox-360 and know why both Platinum Daniel and me like it so much. It is a violent game but since you just kill zombies it's not so bad. Maybe you shouldn't let kids play it but if they're kind of brave kids they will probabyl want to play it and it won't be a problem. Just don't be surprised if they pee their pants if they're not brave! haha! But zombies aren't living people so the violence isn't that bad! Now if you will excuse me I must get ready for band practice with my band Mighty Talon. We are trying otu a new song that I wrote today and hopefully Eric our drummer has been practicing. He's kind of been slacking off on his practicing lately and has been sloppy. He'd better watch out or Platinum Daniel and I will send Eric to a mall fullof zombies that want to eat his brains. "BRAINS! WE COME FOR BRAINS!" haha! Until next time this is Metal Steve bidding you a fond farewell. Remembe,r as Metal Steve says: "DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE ZOMBIES, BE MORE AFRAID OF DRESSING LIKE A LADY!" Later!