Metal Steve Reviews Hyper Gunsport

 Hello my faithful fans. Your lord nad savior Metal Steve has returned! Its been a while sinche my last METAL REVIEW but I am back with an unknow game called "Hyper Gunsport." You are not ready for what this gmae is, my loyal minyins! Hyper Gunsport is like volley ball only you use a gun to shoot the ball. I wouldnt have ever guessed that you could add guns to volley ball. So how is the game you might be asking? "Steve, it is worth my hard earned cash?" Well Im sorry to say it is not. And there is one big reason why. The copmpany that made the game is called Necrosoft and they are total amatures! "YOU WANNA PLAY WITH THE BIG BOYS, YOU GOTTA GET OFF THE POTTY FRIST!"

Now befor we go any further let me say this. The game looks great if you like old games, that is. But if your into newer games youll be asking yourself "Whoa, did someone put out a Super Nintendo game in 2023?" The anwser is kind of. Actually the game is more like a system you probabbly dont know about called The Neogeo. "Steve you make this up!" you scream? Neogeo is from the 80s and it was once the strongest machine until Miyamoto at Nintnedo found out about it. "What is this crap?" he probably said. The Neogeo has lame games like a fake super Maroi bros called blue's Journey and its so bad. Thats why Nintendo came ouw with the SUPER NINTENDO to show Neogeo that they are the boss. Miyamoto said "Time to go ful power!" and made Nintendo's most powernful console until the Wii.

Okay, enough aboout Neogeo and Miymoto! We aer here to talk about Hyper Gunsoport! LIke I sadi earlier it is by a company called Necrosoft. Smething you might not know is necro is Japanese for DEATH. So Necrosoft is DEATH software. Thats what we in the industry calll an Easter egg, which is a thing people snake into their games to ge3t credit for their work. The most famous example is a game called Adventure on the Atari 2600 that had some guy put his name in it for peop;le to find and say "What's this?" So soemone at Neocrosoft thinks Easter eggs are cool even if I hate easter!! "YOU'LL NEVER CATCH STEVE IN A BUNNNY COSTUME!" LOl. 

So what is Hyper Gunsport, you mght be asking? Its like badmittin only you shoot a ball with guns and try to score touchdowns or goals. Each team has two pepole and you can select countries like Oalkland USA ("USA! USA!" LOL) or I thiunk Tanzaniya, I'm not sure. I was too busy trying to figure out the controls. You have to use the analogg stick to do some aiming and shooting and it simply does not work. "Come back and tlak to Steve when you get it working with a SUPER NNTENDO controller!" haha. Plus lets not kid ourselves here. Badmittin is a pretty bad game and why Necrosoft chose badmittin is beyond me. Maybe the company President likes badmittin and thought, "What if w e combined badmittin and shooting?" Sodunds good on paper but it just does not work out well. Fire that president! haha

"Steve yuour bumming me out, dude!" you might be saiying. Well, sorrry to say not every game can be as good as Super Mario Odyssie. Hey Necorsoft you got some spare millions of dollarrs lieing around that you can pay to Miyamoto to come help make your game better? It needs some serious polish. Stop tormetning my eyes with these 8-bit graphics! haha. Good thinkg I don't have to see my guitar to play it because these bad graphics are making me blidn. "THREE BLIND STEVES SEE HOW HE RUNS!" And guess what. Nobody likkes music like this game has. Bad graphics and bad music. Maybe next time bring in ol' Steve to play guitar on the music tracks. "FOR A FEE. I AINT FREE!" haha.

So there you have it my loyal subjectss: a review of Hyper Gunsport for the Ninthendo Switch. I bet Miyamoto is mad someone put this game on a consle he took so long to make. Its like one time when Frankie from the band Witch Fire stahed at my aparetment and stained the botton of the toilet bowl. I could not wait for him to leave. That is like Hyper Gunsport on the Nintedo Switch. I hope Neocrosoft knows they should be ashamed for defiling the sport of badmittin so badly!

Well that's all the time we have for today. Thank you for readnig my METAL REIVEW of Hyper Gun Sport. Remember as your pal Metal Steve says: "If youre gonna make an old looking game, you can do a lot betetr than tehe Neogeo!" Save your money fo r something liek a case of beer instead. LOL. Later!

Metal Steve is Back from Prison!

 Hello my faithful followers. Your king Metal Steve is back! Remember when I reuviewed Super Mario Odyssey for the nIntendo Switch and was like "I WILL PROBABLY GOTO PRISON FOR THIS!" well, guess what? Nintendo really do have ninjas they sned to take revenge for spilling all their secrets.. It seems that Miyamoto did not findd it okay that I unveiled the Konami Code. But informahtion wants to be frfee!!!

But don't worry because in prison I lift weights evrey day and got super buff! Haha! I need to pay a visit to "Platimnum" Daniel because he and my (ex!!!) girlfriend Samantha we're hooking up while poor Steve was in the slammer. "DARKNESS, IMPRISONING ME, ALL THAT I SEE, ASBOLUTE HORROR!" An all time classic quote that sums it all up.

So Daniel.. Metal Steve is comign for you! As Metal Steve says: "YOU MESS WITH THE BULLL YOU GET THE HORNS!" Here is a photo of me pretending to be Hagar from Final fIght! Hey Daniel you are the oil drum get it? Later!

Metal Steve Reviews Super Mario Odyssey

Yes, my loayal subjects, your eyes are not playing tricks on you! Well maybe they are, but in that case you probably shoudl go see your eye doctor and say "Hey man! These glasses I paid $200 for are CRAP!" Haha! But indeed, your mighty king Metal Steve stands before you, or beofre his keyboard typing this as you imagine me standing on top of a pile of fallen warriers, my mighty axe held high and Zeus himself giving a look down as if to say I AM IMPRESSED, STEVE!

So I know you are probably asking "Whoat, Steve, you totally abandoned us, man!" Well, your mighty ruler may have been gone bu tit is for good reason, my friends. And I will admit it. Metal Steve was in prison! "THEY WANNA PUT ME IN JAIL. MAN I'M ALREAYD IN JAIL. DONT THEY KNOW MY LIFES JUST ONE.. .BIG... CELL!" Scott Ian from Anthrax was right! Jail sucks! And Migty Talon is no more. That rat bastad "Platinum" Daniel pressed charges against me, the invinicle Metal Steve and it happened oversees so that was even worse. I lost all my gear and I thought my life was over. But now I'm FREE and "Platinum" Daniel is going to be "Tin" Daniel soon if I ever find him because tin is totally weak justt like him and I called him rat bastard but not cool like RATT. Well haha! Actually RATT were never cool. That's a band fat chicks in placse like Wisconsen wear shirts of and durnk guys in bars are like "WHOA I THINK I CAN HAVE SEX WITH THAT! SHE LIKS RATT!" Only guys don't have sex with that becaues she probably at pizza pockets all evening and her gas is probalby worse than her looks without makeup and in full sun light. Haha!

Okay now that you know why yoru fearless leader has been gone all thees years, it is TIME FOR THE SHOW! And yes my loyal subjects, I know Super Mario Odyssey is not available to buy and will not be out at places like Best Byu and Game stop for months but I found a way to get it early. Because I want you to experine this masterpace I am going to tell you a secret.

Back in the 1980's Nintendo made a rule that each company could only releaes 4 games a year on the Nint nedo. The probem was, they guy at Nintendo who makes all the games named Miyamoto made so many games that he said "I can't release just 4, guys!" The President of Nitnendo said "Find a solution. Not my problem!" so Miyamoto put on his thinking hat and said HA! I HAVE IT and made up some fake companies. One company was called Konami and people domn't know that was actually Miymamoto all along but it was! I wish he puled off a mask and said "Guess who?!" like a Scoobie Doo episode! Haha!

When Miyamoto was making games pretenging to be other companies he decided to create a trade makr to show it was him. This was what is called an "Easter Egg" in video games. The first Easter Egg gave you 30 lives in the shooter Gradius. And you all know this code! And that is how I got Super Maroi Odyssey. More on that in a second, my hungry followsrs. Patience is a virtue! Haha!

So in Gradius you pressed Up Up Down down Left right letf Right A B and some pepple say Start but that is actually no important! And you know what happens? Miyamoto left you a present. 30 lives! Do it in any Konami game and you get 30 lives! Now Dracula won't seem to hard in Castlevania right? "WIMPS AND POSERS! LEAVE THE HALL!" AhHa!

Your boss MetalSteve is not to oashamed to admit he is back at home with his parents untl he gets on his feet again. Prison sucks! And prison in the forign lands if the worst! But the goo d news is my dad gave me a loan and I was able to buy a Nintndo Switch! And it is Miyamaoto's best work yet. The man is a genius and his newst game you haven't played is his best game yet. Yes, friends, Metal Steve is talking about Super Mario Odyssey and this is my METAL REVIEW of Super Mario Odysessy for the Nintendo Switch!

"But Steve! You dind't tell us how to get it!" Haha! I wanted to leav emy own "Easter Eagg" but I'll tell you. Maybe go back to school and pay attention instead of smoking pot in the bathroom and trying to look down girls shirts all day. Wait, that's what I did and I turend out fine! Haha. "SMOKING IN THE BOYS ROOM IS WHAT I DO BEST!" That's a rap vocal for all of you rap guys! Haha! But the Beasutie Boys are kind of rock and started as punk. I bet you didn't know that. "What Steve, you are blowing my midn today man!" "I BLOW MINDS FOR A LIVING!"

If you open the Nintendo Switch shop you will find Miyamoto's greatest "Eastre Egg" ever. You need to ciscover it yourself but here is a big hint. Go to the previw of Supe rMario Odyssey. See it? Okay, now remember that "Easter Egg" from Gradius. ONl insteady of 30 lives, you get SUPER MARIO ODSSYEY! YES! Haha! Please, stop bowing and chanting my name! "STEVE! STEVE! STEVE! STEVE! STEVE~!" Okay you can keep chanting. Haha!

So how is the gmae? It is Miyamoto's greatest accomplsihm. The graphics, the music, the controls. it is the best video game mankind has ever seen. Nintendo will probably kill me for telling you how to get it early, but Miyamoto left that there for us to find didnt he? The President of Nintendo is probably yelling "MIYAMOTHO! NOT AGAIN!" and hsaking his fist and Miyamoto is running ahead of him laughing.

Your knight in shining armor Steve does not want to spoil the game, but just so you know Mario's hat is a little differeent this time. I'll give you a sneak peek: It has eyes. Yes! And Mario can throw it! Not only that but Mario is going to travel to places he has enver been in a Mario game. And he will see things he hasn enver seen in a Mario game. "STEVE! TELL US MORE!" you scream? Okay, one more secret: He can jump; on taxis! Wait. I have said too much. Ninteodno will send their ninjas to get me! haha! That is the price I pay for my fans.

Now that you have read my METLA REVIEW of "Supe rMario Odyssey" you kmnow it is Miyamoto's fimnest hour and might evne know how to play it NOW instead of waiting until 2018! Jsut remember to use Miyamoto's famous Konami Code and you will be all set. Remember, as your commanding officer Metal Steve says: "IF YOU THOUGHT MARIO WAS SUPER BERFORE, JUST WAIT UNITL YOU GET TO THROW YOUR HAT AT ENEMIES AND RUN AROUND IN NEW YORK!" Until nex ttime, this is the great Metal Steve signing off. Hopefuplly I'll see you before I got to prison again after I get my revenge on "Platinium" Daniel. haha! Later!