Metal Steve Reviews Hyper Gunsport

 Hello my faithful fans. Your lord nad savior Metal Steve has returned! Its been a while sinche my last METAL REVIEW but I am back with an unknow game called "Hyper Gunsport." You are not ready for what this gmae is, my loyal minyins! Hyper Gunsport is like volley ball only you use a gun to shoot the ball. I wouldnt have ever guessed that you could add guns to volley ball. So how is the game you might be asking? "Steve, it is worth my hard earned cash?" Well Im sorry to say it is not. And there is one big reason why. The copmpany that made the game is called Necrosoft and they are total amatures! "YOU WANNA PLAY WITH THE BIG BOYS, YOU GOTTA GET OFF THE POTTY FRIST!"

Now befor we go any further let me say this. The game looks great if you like old games, that is. But if your into newer games youll be asking yourself "Whoa, did someone put out a Super Nintendo game in 2023?" The anwser is kind of. Actually the game is more like a system you probabbly dont know about called The Neogeo. "Steve you make this up!" you scream? Neogeo is from the 80s and it was once the strongest machine until Miyamoto at Nintnedo found out about it. "What is this crap?" he probably said. The Neogeo has lame games like a fake super Maroi bros called blue's Journey and its so bad. Thats why Nintendo came ouw with the SUPER NINTENDO to show Neogeo that they are the boss. Miyamoto said "Time to go ful power!" and made Nintendo's most powernful console until the Wii.

Okay, enough aboout Neogeo and Miymoto! We aer here to talk about Hyper Gunsoport! LIke I sadi earlier it is by a company called Necrosoft. Smething you might not know is necro is Japanese for DEATH. So Necrosoft is DEATH software. Thats what we in the industry calll an Easter egg, which is a thing people snake into their games to ge3t credit for their work. The most famous example is a game called Adventure on the Atari 2600 that had some guy put his name in it for peop;le to find and say "What's this?" So soemone at Neocrosoft thinks Easter eggs are cool even if I hate easter!! "YOU'LL NEVER CATCH STEVE IN A BUNNNY COSTUME!" LOl. 

So what is Hyper Gunsport, you mght be asking? Its like badmittin only you shoot a ball with guns and try to score touchdowns or goals. Each team has two pepole and you can select countries like Oalkland USA ("USA! USA!" LOL) or I thiunk Tanzaniya, I'm not sure. I was too busy trying to figure out the controls. You have to use the analogg stick to do some aiming and shooting and it simply does not work. "Come back and tlak to Steve when you get it working with a SUPER NNTENDO controller!" haha. Plus lets not kid ourselves here. Badmittin is a pretty bad game and why Necrosoft chose badmittin is beyond me. Maybe the company President likes badmittin and thought, "What if w e combined badmittin and shooting?" Sodunds good on paper but it just does not work out well. Fire that president! haha

"Steve yuour bumming me out, dude!" you might be saiying. Well, sorrry to say not every game can be as good as Super Mario Odyssie. Hey Necorsoft you got some spare millions of dollarrs lieing around that you can pay to Miyamoto to come help make your game better? It needs some serious polish. Stop tormetning my eyes with these 8-bit graphics! haha. Good thinkg I don't have to see my guitar to play it because these bad graphics are making me blidn. "THREE BLIND STEVES SEE HOW HE RUNS!" And guess what. Nobody likkes music like this game has. Bad graphics and bad music. Maybe next time bring in ol' Steve to play guitar on the music tracks. "FOR A FEE. I AINT FREE!" haha.

So there you have it my loyal subjectss: a review of Hyper Gunsport for the Ninthendo Switch. I bet Miyamoto is mad someone put this game on a consle he took so long to make. Its like one time when Frankie from the band Witch Fire stahed at my aparetment and stained the botton of the toilet bowl. I could not wait for him to leave. That is like Hyper Gunsport on the Nintedo Switch. I hope Neocrosoft knows they should be ashamed for defiling the sport of badmittin so badly!

Well that's all the time we have for today. Thank you for readnig my METAL REIVEW of Hyper Gun Sport. Remember as your pal Metal Steve says: "If youre gonna make an old looking game, you can do a lot betetr than tehe Neogeo!" Save your money fo r something liek a case of beer instead. LOL. Later!

Metal Steve Reviews Kingdom Hearts

yBefore I get into my METAL REVIEW of Kingdom Hearts for the Playstation2, I shoudl first apologize to all my faithful fans for not putting up any new reviews for a long time. I haven't been in a good mood lately because the guys in Mighty Talon were thinking about adding a second guitar player to the group. Right now I'm the only guitar player and they think that a second ax man would add some extra sound to our music during shows but I was like "Hey guys, no way! I can handle all of it!" but they seem to doubt my ability to handle all of it. So now we have to audition some dudes adn they want to add some guy named Lightning Jim who moved up to Fresno from San Diego but I hate San Diego so I'm like "Guys this guy is a tool!" haha! Why do I hate SAn Diego you ask? Well I'm glad you asked. I wanted to go to Tijuwana so I drove and drove my car but I ran out of gas when I got to San Diego, man that was a long trip. So I started waving my arms and asked for "HELP!" but then this car stopped and these kids started throwing eggs at me and calling me gay and stuff. I was like "What the heck!" The worst part is these kids were METAL because they had METAL tshirts on but apparently they didn't know I was METAL too event hough I was wearing a Pantera tshirt. So I vowed never to go to San Diego again. haha! Now that you know that story we can proceed with my METAL REVIEW of Kingdom Hearts for the Playstation2. "PRESS START!"

Kingdom Hearts is a Final Fantasy game but Square-Enix wanted to make it even better so they called up Disney and were like "Hey can we talk to Walt?" Really they asked for Walt becasue in Japan they don't know he's dead. The receptionist was like "I'm sorry, Walt is dead" so they talked to the president of Disney and said "Hey guys, we want to make a Final Fantasy game but make it even better so can we put Disney characters in it?" and the president said "Let me think about it." But his advisors said "Mr. President, Square-Enix makes lots of money and Final Fantasy is the most popular game ever made" so the president called back and said "Yes, youc an use Disney characters in your new game." It's a good thing he did because the game has made Square-Enix and Disney over a billion dollars! Wow! haha! Here's a Metal Steve secret for you. The KINGDOM in KINGDOM hearts stands for "MAGIC KINGDOM" which is what people call Disneyland. I'm not sure what HEARTS stand sfor but it's something from Square-Enix I'm sure.

You might think Disney isn't very METAL but at Disneyland they have some pretty METAL stuff like a haunted mansion. But I don't like Disneyland because there are too many disabled people who mess everything up for the rest of us who can walk and stuff. Samantha and I went to Disneyland a couple years ago and I was like "OK I'll go if we can go on Pirates of the Caribean" and she said we could. So we got in line but then all the boats got backed up when returning to the front because some fat guy in a wheelchair had to get in the boat and it took like vfive minutes! Samantha got mad because I yelled out "Hurry up man you're holding us all up!" but I was angry. I like handicapped people but maybe they should go someplace else or something. Like you wouldn't see a disabled dude in a most pit at a Mighty Talon concert so why do they need to go on Pirates of the Caribean? Maybe they should make a second Disneyland for disabled people and call it Disney Disabledland or something! haha!

So now that you know why Disneyland isn't very good because of all the handicapped people I can tell you why Kingdom Hearts is not like Disneyland but it is actually good. You play as a boy named Sora but you also have Donald Duck and Goofy with you and you have to save Mickey. You fight lots of enemies but the part that is fun for Disney fans is that you can play in every single Disney movie ever made. So if you like Pinochio or Snow White guess what! They've got it there for you! It's like a Disney fans dream come true! haha! Also there are cool monsters you fight that look like ghost shadows come to life. Kids might get scared until they see Donald Duck and Goofy and then they'll be like "Wow if Donald Duck and Goofy aren't scared I won't be either!" haha!

Kingdom Hearts for PLaystation2 is aone of the most expensive games ever made but it sold millions of copys and is the best selling game of all time so Square-Enix and Disney are happy. Even if you hate Disneyland you should play it. It's not really METAL but as you read in my METAL REVIEW it is still a good game. Man I am still so mad aout my stupid band wanting to add another guitar player. Lightning Jim can go back to San Diego for all I care! haha! Ok my friends this is your fearless leader Metal Steve signing off. Remember as Metal Steve says: "IT IS OK TO BE HANDICAPPED BUT DON'T HOLD UP THE LINE!" Later!