Switch 2 Confirmed Details - All the Leaks from Metal Steve!

 Hello faithful fans! Your king Metal Steve has returned and is ready to spill all the details about the Nintendo Switch 2. I just returned from the Nintnedo HQ in Washingtom where I was able to infiltrate the buidling because of my games journalist credentials. I signed multiple NDA's (NON DIS-CLOSURE AGREEMENT) but I crossed my fingers so it's does not count! haha! But seriously let's get on with the show shall we? I am going to list all of teh things about the Switch 2 that I learned.

1. NAME
It's not going to be called Switch 2 but insthead will be another name. Miyamoto who is the guy who makes all of the Nintedo games and systmes (of course!) is still thinking of a cleve rname for the system. But Nintnedo learned their lesson with the Wii U. People want to know their spending their hard earned dollars on something new nad not just an expansion or add-on. SEGA 32X ANYONE? We all know how that one turned out. Right now the popular name for Switch 2 is an ocean theme, with some staff claling it CURRENTS. Why, you might ask? Read on and your old friend Metal Steve will let you know.

2. CURRENTS
One of th eproblems with the Nintnedo Switch is that the system would get hot while playing it. The new system which i'm goigng to call by its popular name right now, CURRENTS has water current technology imbedded within the system.But it's not just to cool the system down, which it does because imagine a handheld system running the level of graphics that it does (more on that in a second). But the three screens (yes, you read that righgh!) have a new technlogy called Liquid OLED. It allows for amazing 3D effects without glasses and the ability for the screen to reshape itself. That's right folks, you heard it here first. Liquid OLED will be a gmaechanger!

3. GRAPHICS POWER
Some people are worry that CURRENTS will "only" have PS4 Pro graphics. Um hello there, Metal Steve to earth. Have you seen some of the games running on the PS4 Pro? Now imagine those games with 3D effects and a shape changing screen and  youhave what is sure to be something unimaginable. And besides, we all know Miyamoto knows how to take the best advhantge of any system he designs, so expect Mario to look amazing on CURRENTS.

4. MARIO
Oh yah, Mario! CURRENTS is going to launch with a new 3D Mario game which might have a name changhe but is currently being called SUPER MARIO OCEAN WORLD 3D. Remember Bowse'rs Fury and all of the open world kind of eleents that had? Now get ready because Mario will be returning to a similar adventure only with all of the new things thrown at it like Liquid OLED and more. Oh, and did I forget to mention something? STEVE NEVER FORGETS! haah! Read on!

5. ANALOG STICKS
CURRENTS hs more than your typical analog sticks. The new systme will have force feedback analog sticks that push bakc and get harder to move depending on the gameplay. Imagine Mario walking thru mud and it being hard topush the sticks. Well imagine no more because your majesty Metal Steve actually got to see this in action. And the LIquid OLED is not the only thing that uses water. The analog sticks have water pressure in them and vibration of the sticks is done completely by water feedback. It feels unlkie anything you've ever seen before.

6. JOYCONS?
What if I told you joycons were back, but not quite as you wodul think they would be? YEs, you can remove and re-attache the joycons to the CURRENTS, but they snap into place with magnets. They look almost the same at first, but once you pull the joycons off you'll find each has a small OLED screen on them kind of like a Dreamcast VMU only futuristic. And the joycons have the Liquid OLED type feedback from the analog sticks. Friends the future is now. "FUTURE? I HARDLY KNOW HER!" lol! And the joycons are not called Joycons this time around, either. But I dont know the new name. Sorry! Your pal Metal steve can't know everything! haha!

7. 1 2, 3 4, 5 PLACES TO LOOK
yEP, cURRENTS has 5 screens total.k Three on the actual unit and 1 on each joycon. how will Nintendo take advantage of 5 screens, you wonder? Human beings have two eyes only (well, some people have one eye or none! I'm sorry no disrespect towardhs you!) so how can they look at 5 screens at once? haha. It's going to be crazy, but imagine things like one screen showing a map, one screen having gamplay, one screen having social media chat, and more. It's going to be wild!

8. GAMES IN DEVELHOPMENT
I saw a lot of games being tested at Nintnedo and boy, are we in for a treat. Not all of these will be avaialble at launch or even in the firt year, but rest assured some good stuff is coming out! Game tiles subject to change, but his is what the internal Treehouse and partner teams are clling them! Anticipated luaunch games include SUPER MARIO OCEAN WORDL 3D and wait for it... guys it the return of FZERO! Anew FZERO game called FZERO BLAZE is goig to take advantage of Liquid OLED screens and joycon features like you wouldn't believe! Other games in devehopment:

FINAL FANTASY TRIPLE (might be a remake of 3 but takes place across 3 screens and the graphics look like FFVII Remadke level)
NEW RESIDENT EVIL (looks like a Code Veronca sequel!)
SUPER INNTENDO KART (I definitly saw one guy playing as Mr. Eggplant!)

CHRONO TRIGGER 2D-HD
SONIC AND MARIO AT THE WINTER AOLYMPICS
A top secret Miyamoto game called BUZZ NEO
DONKEY KONG COUNTRY (I only saw a sun set stage but wow! Rays of likght on the Liquid OLED blew my mind off!)
AND FINALLY... WAIT FOR IT

STILL WAITING...?

STILL WAITING....?

LOL WAITING EVEN MORE?

"Come on Steve out with it!" yo ucry!

FINE. I'M NOT LYING ABOUT THIS: NINTENDO VS. CAPCOM!!!!!! It's the new Super Smash Brothres but with lots of Capcom and new Nintendo characters! (It looked early in develpment but it was amazing to see Kirby fighting against Batsu from Rivle Schools!!!)

Okay my friends. The mighty Metal Steve has spoken. Mark my words discispsles. All of this and more will be true. Oh, and when is CURRENTS going to be availale? Launch date is June 17, 2025! You heard it here first. Until we meet again. STAY METAL AND STYA REAL! haha! Later!

Metal Steve Reviews Hyper Gunsport

 Hello my faithful fans. Your lord nad savior Metal Steve has returned! Its been a while sinche my last METAL REVIEW but I am back with an unknow game called "Hyper Gunsport." You are not ready for what this gmae is, my loyal minyins! Hyper Gunsport is like volley ball only you use a gun to shoot the ball. I wouldnt have ever guessed that you could add guns to volley ball. So how is the game you might be asking? "Steve, it is worth my hard earned cash?" Well Im sorry to say it is not. And there is one big reason why. The copmpany that made the game is called Necrosoft and they are total amatures! "YOU WANNA PLAY WITH THE BIG BOYS, YOU GOTTA GET OFF THE POTTY FRIST!"

Now befor we go any further let me say this. The game looks great if you like old games, that is. But if your into newer games youll be asking yourself "Whoa, did someone put out a Super Nintendo game in 2023?" The anwser is kind of. Actually the game is more like a system you probabbly dont know about called The Neogeo. "Steve you make this up!" you scream? Neogeo is from the 80s and it was once the strongest machine until Miyamoto at Nintnedo found out about it. "What is this crap?" he probably said. The Neogeo has lame games like a fake super Maroi bros called blue's Journey and its so bad. Thats why Nintendo came ouw with the SUPER NINTENDO to show Neogeo that they are the boss. Miyamoto said "Time to go ful power!" and made Nintendo's most powernful console until the Wii.

Okay, enough aboout Neogeo and Miymoto! We aer here to talk about Hyper Gunsoport! LIke I sadi earlier it is by a company called Necrosoft. Smething you might not know is necro is Japanese for DEATH. So Necrosoft is DEATH software. Thats what we in the industry calll an Easter egg, which is a thing people snake into their games to ge3t credit for their work. The most famous example is a game called Adventure on the Atari 2600 that had some guy put his name in it for peop;le to find and say "What's this?" So soemone at Neocrosoft thinks Easter eggs are cool even if I hate easter!! "YOU'LL NEVER CATCH STEVE IN A BUNNNY COSTUME!" LOl. 

So what is Hyper Gunsport, you mght be asking? Its like badmittin only you shoot a ball with guns and try to score touchdowns or goals. Each team has two pepole and you can select countries like Oalkland USA ("USA! USA!" LOL) or I thiunk Tanzaniya, I'm not sure. I was too busy trying to figure out the controls. You have to use the analogg stick to do some aiming and shooting and it simply does not work. "Come back and tlak to Steve when you get it working with a SUPER NNTENDO controller!" haha. Plus lets not kid ourselves here. Badmittin is a pretty bad game and why Necrosoft chose badmittin is beyond me. Maybe the company President likes badmittin and thought, "What if w e combined badmittin and shooting?" Sodunds good on paper but it just does not work out well. Fire that president! haha

"Steve yuour bumming me out, dude!" you might be saiying. Well, sorrry to say not every game can be as good as Super Mario Odyssie. Hey Necorsoft you got some spare millions of dollarrs lieing around that you can pay to Miyamoto to come help make your game better? It needs some serious polish. Stop tormetning my eyes with these 8-bit graphics! haha. Good thinkg I don't have to see my guitar to play it because these bad graphics are making me blidn. "THREE BLIND STEVES SEE HOW HE RUNS!" And guess what. Nobody likkes music like this game has. Bad graphics and bad music. Maybe next time bring in ol' Steve to play guitar on the music tracks. "FOR A FEE. I AINT FREE!" haha.

So there you have it my loyal subjectss: a review of Hyper Gunsport for the Ninthendo Switch. I bet Miyamoto is mad someone put this game on a consle he took so long to make. Its like one time when Frankie from the band Witch Fire stahed at my aparetment and stained the botton of the toilet bowl. I could not wait for him to leave. That is like Hyper Gunsport on the Nintedo Switch. I hope Neocrosoft knows they should be ashamed for defiling the sport of badmittin so badly!

Well that's all the time we have for today. Thank you for readnig my METAL REIVEW of Hyper Gun Sport. Remember as your pal Metal Steve says: "If youre gonna make an old looking game, you can do a lot betetr than tehe Neogeo!" Save your money fo r something liek a case of beer instead. LOL. Later!