Switch 2 Confirmed Details - All the Leaks from Metal Steve!

 Hello faithful fans! Your king Metal Steve has returned and is ready to spill all the details about the Nintendo Switch 2. I just returned from the Nintnedo HQ in Washingtom where I was able to infiltrate the buidling because of my games journalist credentials. I signed multiple NDA's (NON DIS-CLOSURE AGREEMENT) but I crossed my fingers so it's does not count! haha! But seriously let's get on with the show shall we? I am going to list all of teh things about the Switch 2 that I learned.

1. NAME
It's not going to be called Switch 2 but insthead will be another name. Miyamoto who is the guy who makes all of the Nintedo games and systmes (of course!) is still thinking of a cleve rname for the system. But Nintnedo learned their lesson with the Wii U. People want to know their spending their hard earned dollars on something new nad not just an expansion or add-on. SEGA 32X ANYONE? We all know how that one turned out. Right now the popular name for Switch 2 is an ocean theme, with some staff claling it CURRENTS. Why, you might ask? Read on and your old friend Metal Steve will let you know.

2. CURRENTS
One of th eproblems with the Nintnedo Switch is that the system would get hot while playing it. The new system which i'm goigng to call by its popular name right now, CURRENTS has water current technology imbedded within the system.But it's not just to cool the system down, which it does because imagine a handheld system running the level of graphics that it does (more on that in a second). But the three screens (yes, you read that righgh!) have a new technlogy called Liquid OLED. It allows for amazing 3D effects without glasses and the ability for the screen to reshape itself. That's right folks, you heard it here first. Liquid OLED will be a gmaechanger!

3. GRAPHICS POWER
Some people are worry that CURRENTS will "only" have PS4 Pro graphics. Um hello there, Metal Steve to earth. Have you seen some of the games running on the PS4 Pro? Now imagine those games with 3D effects and a shape changing screen and  youhave what is sure to be something unimaginable. And besides, we all know Miyamoto knows how to take the best advhantge of any system he designs, so expect Mario to look amazing on CURRENTS.

4. MARIO
Oh yah, Mario! CURRENTS is going to launch with a new 3D Mario game which might have a name changhe but is currently being called SUPER MARIO OCEAN WORLD 3D. Remember Bowse'rs Fury and all of the open world kind of eleents that had? Now get ready because Mario will be returning to a similar adventure only with all of the new things thrown at it like Liquid OLED and more. Oh, and did I forget to mention something? STEVE NEVER FORGETS! haah! Read on!

5. ANALOG STICKS
CURRENTS hs more than your typical analog sticks. The new systme will have force feedback analog sticks that push bakc and get harder to move depending on the gameplay. Imagine Mario walking thru mud and it being hard topush the sticks. Well imagine no more because your majesty Metal Steve actually got to see this in action. And the LIquid OLED is not the only thing that uses water. The analog sticks have water pressure in them and vibration of the sticks is done completely by water feedback. It feels unlkie anything you've ever seen before.

6. JOYCONS?
What if I told you joycons were back, but not quite as you wodul think they would be? YEs, you can remove and re-attache the joycons to the CURRENTS, but they snap into place with magnets. They look almost the same at first, but once you pull the joycons off you'll find each has a small OLED screen on them kind of like a Dreamcast VMU only futuristic. And the joycons have the Liquid OLED type feedback from the analog sticks. Friends the future is now. "FUTURE? I HARDLY KNOW HER!" lol! And the joycons are not called Joycons this time around, either. But I dont know the new name. Sorry! Your pal Metal steve can't know everything! haha!

7. 1 2, 3 4, 5 PLACES TO LOOK
yEP, cURRENTS has 5 screens total.k Three on the actual unit and 1 on each joycon. how will Nintendo take advantage of 5 screens, you wonder? Human beings have two eyes only (well, some people have one eye or none! I'm sorry no disrespect towardhs you!) so how can they look at 5 screens at once? haha. It's going to be crazy, but imagine things like one screen showing a map, one screen having gamplay, one screen having social media chat, and more. It's going to be wild!

8. GAMES IN DEVELHOPMENT
I saw a lot of games being tested at Nintnedo and boy, are we in for a treat. Not all of these will be avaialble at launch or even in the firt year, but rest assured some good stuff is coming out! Game tiles subject to change, but his is what the internal Treehouse and partner teams are clling them! Anticipated luaunch games include SUPER MARIO OCEAN WORDL 3D and wait for it... guys it the return of FZERO! Anew FZERO game called FZERO BLAZE is goig to take advantage of Liquid OLED screens and joycon features like you wouldn't believe! Other games in devehopment:

FINAL FANTASY TRIPLE (might be a remake of 3 but takes place across 3 screens and the graphics look like FFVII Remadke level)
NEW RESIDENT EVIL (looks like a Code Veronca sequel!)
SUPER INNTENDO KART (I definitly saw one guy playing as Mr. Eggplant!)

CHRONO TRIGGER 2D-HD
SONIC AND MARIO AT THE WINTER AOLYMPICS
A top secret Miyamoto game called BUZZ NEO
DONKEY KONG COUNTRY (I only saw a sun set stage but wow! Rays of likght on the Liquid OLED blew my mind off!)
AND FINALLY... WAIT FOR IT

STILL WAITING...?

STILL WAITING....?

LOL WAITING EVEN MORE?

"Come on Steve out with it!" yo ucry!

FINE. I'M NOT LYING ABOUT THIS: NINTENDO VS. CAPCOM!!!!!! It's the new Super Smash Brothres but with lots of Capcom and new Nintendo characters! (It looked early in develpment but it was amazing to see Kirby fighting against Batsu from Rivle Schools!!!)

Okay my friends. The mighty Metal Steve has spoken. Mark my words discispsles. All of this and more will be true. Oh, and when is CURRENTS going to be availale? Launch date is June 17, 2025! You heard it here first. Until we meet again. STAY METAL AND STYA REAL! haha! Later!

Metal Steve is Back from Prison!

 Hello my faithful followers. Your king Metal Steve is back! Remember when I reuviewed Super Mario Odyssey for the nIntendo Switch and was like "I WILL PROBABLY GOTO PRISON FOR THIS!" well, guess what? Nintendo really do have ninjas they sned to take revenge for spilling all their secrets.. It seems that Miyamoto did not findd it okay that I unveiled the Konami Code. But informahtion wants to be frfee!!!

But don't worry because in prison I lift weights evrey day and got super buff! Haha! I need to pay a visit to "Platimnum" Daniel because he and my (ex!!!) girlfriend Samantha we're hooking up while poor Steve was in the slammer. "DARKNESS, IMPRISONING ME, ALL THAT I SEE, ASBOLUTE HORROR!" An all time classic quote that sums it all up.

So Daniel.. Metal Steve is comign for you! As Metal Steve says: "YOU MESS WITH THE BULLL YOU GET THE HORNS!" Here is a photo of me pretending to be Hagar from Final fIght! Hey Daniel you are the oil drum get it? Later!

Metal Steve Reviews Super Mario Odyssey

Yes, my loayal subjects, your eyes are not playing tricks on you! Well maybe they are, but in that case you probably shoudl go see your eye doctor and say "Hey man! These glasses I paid $200 for are CRAP!" Haha! But indeed, your mighty king Metal Steve stands before you, or beofre his keyboard typing this as you imagine me standing on top of a pile of fallen warriers, my mighty axe held high and Zeus himself giving a look down as if to say I AM IMPRESSED, STEVE!

So I know you are probably asking "Whoat, Steve, you totally abandoned us, man!" Well, your mighty ruler may have been gone bu tit is for good reason, my friends. And I will admit it. Metal Steve was in prison! "THEY WANNA PUT ME IN JAIL. MAN I'M ALREAYD IN JAIL. DONT THEY KNOW MY LIFES JUST ONE.. .BIG... CELL!" Scott Ian from Anthrax was right! Jail sucks! And Migty Talon is no more. That rat bastad "Platinum" Daniel pressed charges against me, the invinicle Metal Steve and it happened oversees so that was even worse. I lost all my gear and I thought my life was over. But now I'm FREE and "Platinum" Daniel is going to be "Tin" Daniel soon if I ever find him because tin is totally weak justt like him and I called him rat bastard but not cool like RATT. Well haha! Actually RATT were never cool. That's a band fat chicks in placse like Wisconsen wear shirts of and durnk guys in bars are like "WHOA I THINK I CAN HAVE SEX WITH THAT! SHE LIKS RATT!" Only guys don't have sex with that becaues she probably at pizza pockets all evening and her gas is probalby worse than her looks without makeup and in full sun light. Haha!

Okay now that you know why yoru fearless leader has been gone all thees years, it is TIME FOR THE SHOW! And yes my loyal subjects, I know Super Mario Odyssey is not available to buy and will not be out at places like Best Byu and Game stop for months but I found a way to get it early. Because I want you to experine this masterpace I am going to tell you a secret.

Back in the 1980's Nintendo made a rule that each company could only releaes 4 games a year on the Nint nedo. The probem was, they guy at Nintendo who makes all the games named Miyamoto made so many games that he said "I can't release just 4, guys!" The President of Nitnendo said "Find a solution. Not my problem!" so Miyamoto put on his thinking hat and said HA! I HAVE IT and made up some fake companies. One company was called Konami and people domn't know that was actually Miymamoto all along but it was! I wish he puled off a mask and said "Guess who?!" like a Scoobie Doo episode! Haha!

When Miyamoto was making games pretenging to be other companies he decided to create a trade makr to show it was him. This was what is called an "Easter Egg" in video games. The first Easter Egg gave you 30 lives in the shooter Gradius. And you all know this code! And that is how I got Super Maroi Odyssey. More on that in a second, my hungry followsrs. Patience is a virtue! Haha!

So in Gradius you pressed Up Up Down down Left right letf Right A B and some pepple say Start but that is actually no important! And you know what happens? Miyamoto left you a present. 30 lives! Do it in any Konami game and you get 30 lives! Now Dracula won't seem to hard in Castlevania right? "WIMPS AND POSERS! LEAVE THE HALL!" AhHa!

Your boss MetalSteve is not to oashamed to admit he is back at home with his parents untl he gets on his feet again. Prison sucks! And prison in the forign lands if the worst! But the goo d news is my dad gave me a loan and I was able to buy a Nintndo Switch! And it is Miyamaoto's best work yet. The man is a genius and his newst game you haven't played is his best game yet. Yes, friends, Metal Steve is talking about Super Mario Odyssey and this is my METAL REVIEW of Super Mario Odysessy for the Nintendo Switch!

"But Steve! You dind't tell us how to get it!" Haha! I wanted to leav emy own "Easter Eagg" but I'll tell you. Maybe go back to school and pay attention instead of smoking pot in the bathroom and trying to look down girls shirts all day. Wait, that's what I did and I turend out fine! Haha. "SMOKING IN THE BOYS ROOM IS WHAT I DO BEST!" That's a rap vocal for all of you rap guys! Haha! But the Beasutie Boys are kind of rock and started as punk. I bet you didn't know that. "What Steve, you are blowing my midn today man!" "I BLOW MINDS FOR A LIVING!"

If you open the Nintendo Switch shop you will find Miyamoto's greatest "Eastre Egg" ever. You need to ciscover it yourself but here is a big hint. Go to the previw of Supe rMario Odyssey. See it? Okay, now remember that "Easter Egg" from Gradius. ONl insteady of 30 lives, you get SUPER MARIO ODSSYEY! YES! Haha! Please, stop bowing and chanting my name! "STEVE! STEVE! STEVE! STEVE! STEVE~!" Okay you can keep chanting. Haha!

So how is the gmae? It is Miyamoto's greatest accomplsihm. The graphics, the music, the controls. it is the best video game mankind has ever seen. Nintendo will probably kill me for telling you how to get it early, but Miyamoto left that there for us to find didnt he? The President of Nintendo is probably yelling "MIYAMOTHO! NOT AGAIN!" and hsaking his fist and Miyamoto is running ahead of him laughing.

Your knight in shining armor Steve does not want to spoil the game, but just so you know Mario's hat is a little differeent this time. I'll give you a sneak peek: It has eyes. Yes! And Mario can throw it! Not only that but Mario is going to travel to places he has enver been in a Mario game. And he will see things he hasn enver seen in a Mario game. "STEVE! TELL US MORE!" you scream? Okay, one more secret: He can jump; on taxis! Wait. I have said too much. Ninteodno will send their ninjas to get me! haha! That is the price I pay for my fans.

Now that you have read my METLA REVIEW of "Supe rMario Odyssey" you kmnow it is Miyamoto's fimnest hour and might evne know how to play it NOW instead of waiting until 2018! Jsut remember to use Miyamoto's famous Konami Code and you will be all set. Remember, as your commanding officer Metal Steve says: "IF YOU THOUGHT MARIO WAS SUPER BERFORE, JUST WAIT UNITL YOU GET TO THROW YOUR HAT AT ENEMIES AND RUN AROUND IN NEW YORK!" Until nex ttime, this is the great Metal Steve signing off. Hopefuplly I'll see you before I got to prison again after I get my revenge on "Platinium" Daniel. haha! Later!

E3 Survival Guide in Three Easy METAL TIPS

Greetings, my faithful fans. Your buddy Metal Steve is back once again to be the guiding light in your hour of need. You were probably thinking, “I am but a lost sheep without a shepherd” but never fear, for Shepherd Steve is here to show you where to find the tastiest grass to munch upon and possibly find some cute girl sheep to mount, unless you’re a girl sheep, in which case I’ll find you a studly man sheep to mount you. Well, not mount, but go to a video games convention, actually! Haha!

The Electronics Entertainment Expo (or E3 as we call it in “the biz” haha!) is going to be here in almost no time, and you might have your bags all packed and are ready to go, but you don’t know what to expect. You might be like, “Do I need to bring my business cards?” or maybe “What hotel should I stay in?” Those are the tips you can find anywhere, even from amateurs. I won’t waste your time with that type of stuff.

Instead, your king Metal Steve is here to give you my E3 Survival Guide in Three Easy METAL TIPS you won’t find anywhere else. LISTEN, YOUNG GRASSHOPPER, AND LEARN FROM YOUR GUITAR-PLAYING MASTER. So, without further ado, let’s dig into the secret E3 tips that you won’t find in Nintendo Power, Gamepro, or any other favorite video game magazine you probably have stacked up by your toilet to read when you’re dropping the kids off at the pool, so to speak. Haha!

Tip 1: Scare Away the Homeless

E3 takes place in downtown Los Angeles, which is crawling with homeless people. The video games industry makes billions of dollars every month, and the homeless know this. They swarm around the Los Angeles Convention Center and won’t let video games journalists and video games developers into the Convention Center without giving them some money.

Getting asked for change by bums doesn’t sound like a big deal, right? You might even be ready to stop reading my tips and give me a lecture by saying, “Steve, you’re wasting my time. Anyone can give bums money.” But slow down just a minute there, partner, because Cowboy Steve can tell you that these homeless are of a different variety than the usual crop. THEY’RE LIKE ZOMBIES: THEY JUST KEEP COMING AND COMING! If you give one of them some change, two more will rise up and demand even more money. It’s endless! Look out behind you! Haha!

The best way to clear a path through these beggars is to scare them away. This is easier said than done for most video games journalists, because most of them are out of shape and don’t usually get much sunlight, so they’re chubby, pasty wimps and when the homeless descend upon them, they end up giving away most of their money and sometimes other possessions like watches and phones as well in fear of their safety. TAKE WHATEVER YOU WANT, JUST SPARE MY LIFE! It’s pathetic! Haha!

Meanwhile, your captain Metal Steve has no problem. Before I played in my current band Mighty Talon, I briefly played rhythm guitar and handled lead vocals in a death metal band called Casket of Serpents. I just heard you gasp. “You are the legendary Steve Serpent from Casket of Serpents!?” Yes, guilty as charged. Haha! If you know of Casket of Serpents, you no doubt remember our song, “Defiler of the Departed” – a song that I personally wrote the music and lyrics to even though my ex-bandmate Jacob “Prison of Pins” Richards broke up our band when he tried to copyright all the music like he wrote it.

Whenever I find myself surrounded by an army of crazy homeless guys, I just break into the lyrics of “Defiler of the Departed” with my raspy death vocals and the bums know to keep their distance. I’m like Moses, but instead of parting red water I’m parting crazy drunk people who want money from me. CLEAR A PATH FOR YOUR KING!

Please feel free to use the following sample of the lyrics for your own needs – Just don’t try to rip me off like Jacob Richards did:

You sit in a chair, slumped off to the side.
It doesn’t matter to me the way that you died.
I’m just here for fun, and it’s only beginning.
Your face is all rotten, it’s looks like you’re grinning.

Defiler! Defiler of the Departed!
Defiler! And I’ve only just started.

I take out my knife and begin with a cut.
Cover you with paper, you look like King Tut.
But mummy you’re not, my plaything you are.
Let’s put on a play, you’ll be the star.

Tip 2: Bring Condoms

Yes, you read that right, my disbelieving readers. You might be like, “Whoa Steve, what do condoms have to do with a video games convention?” Well, my innocent disciples, E3 might be a video games convention, but you can pretty much expect to get laid when you’re there if you play your cards right. At least, you’ll probably get laid unless you’re some type of weird religious dude or chick that doesn’t have sex before marriage, and in that case, what are you doing playing video games? VIDEO GAMES ARE THE DEVIL’S PLAYTHING. Haha! Actually, I’m just kidding. He probably likes baseball or something like that. Who knows?

Anyway, as anyone who has been to E3 can tell you, there are lots of girls at every booth called “Booth Babes” who flirt with all the video games journalists at E3 and very often they end up having sex with the video games journalists so they’ll give a game a good preview. Sounds great, right? I can hear you yelling, “Steve, I can’t wait! I wish E3 was right now!” But wait you must, my citizens, because unless you bring condoms, you’ll be sorry.

See, the Booth Babes are actually strip club dancers and prostitutes that companies hire to work at E3. These are women that have sex for a living, and they know what they are there to do. REPRESENTATIVES OF THE WORLD’S OLDEST PROFESSION REPORTING FOR WORK! Haha! Don’t be afraid to bring one of these ladies of the night back to your hotel room, but use protection. To quote the wise sage Billy Milano from the bands S.O.D. and M.O.D.: “No Glove No Love!” Nobody wants to experience anything like the rumored 2006 Gamespot Gonorrhea Outbreak! Painful!

Tip 3: Expect to Get Bribed

It’s pretty much a well-known fact that most video games journalists receive money to give games good scores. Remember when IGN gave that sucky kung-fu game a 10/10 score when it should have been a 6/10? You do the math on that one! No really, you do the math. Your leader Metal Steve hates math and used to force nerds to do his math homework for him in high school. WHEN YOUR CALLING IS TO SHRED, ALGEBRA GETS IN THE WAY. Luckily, math has nothing to do with metal, and now I’m in the band Mighty Talon and those dweebs that did my homework are probably working in some boring office somewhere. Haha!

So, back to what I was saying, games journalists don’t make a lot of money, so they rely on the game publishers to help pay the bills. Nobody ever got rich being a video games journalist, except maybe if they do something like write a book like that guy who wrote a Wii book for special education people. But what about the rest of the video games journalists? Most of them receive bribes, which we here in the industry refer to as “moneyhats,” because often times game companies line hats with $20 bills and give them to video games journalists.

I can see the look on your face. Well, I can’t really see it, but I can guess you kind of look like you found out that your girlfriend has been sleeping with some crazy homeless guy on the corner outside the Los Angeles Convention Center. “Hey Steve, I can’t believe what I’m reading. Don’t tell me you accept bribes!” Worry not, for I’m proud to say that your emperor Steve has never even been offered a bribe from any game company. They know that Metal Steve cannot be bought with their dirty money! MONEY TALKS, AND METAL STEVE WALKS! Haha! But you know what? Rent is due soon and I might be a little short this month, so if game companies have any spare moneyhats lying around, you know where to send them. Just kidding. Maybe. Haha!

Have Fun at E3!

Well, my loyal subjects, the time has come for Metal Steve to mount his mighty steed and ride off into the sunset. The day has been saved and you now know how to survive the madness that is called E3 with the METAL TIPS I gave you that you won’t find anywhere else. Don’t come crying to me saying, “Oh no, Steve, I forgot to follow Tip 2 and now I have syphilis. What do I do now?” because I’ll just laugh at you and tell you that maybe you should go apply to work at Gamespot or something! Haha!

Remember to have fun at E3, and don’t believe all the previews you read because most of those video games journalists probably received moneyhats and had sex with prostitutes in exchange for writing good things about those games! SEX, MONEY, AND VIDEO GAMES! Haha! Look for me at the show! But should our paths not cross, remember what your pal Metal Steve says: “It might seem nice to get money and have sex so you will write something good about a bad game, but you’ll be sad if you end up with crabs and the only thing you have to show for it is writing that the new Turok game looks awesome.” Later!

Metal Steve Reviews Super Mario Galaxy 2

I'm sorry for my absense, faithful fans, but your old buddy Metal Steve's life has been a total whirlwind lately LITERALLY. haha! First, my band Mighty Talon might be on the verge of a breakup thanks to our stpuiod lead singer "Platinum" Daniel getting married. He called me the other day and was like, 'Hey Steve I think I can't come to practiec this week because my wife wants me to be home with her" and I was like "WHAT THE HELL?" There is a saing rap guys like to use that I think is approprriate here: "BRO'S BEFORE HO'S." Well, when I told that to "Platinum" Daniel he got all mad and was like "Steve come on man don't call Donna a ho" and I wasl ike "Later!" and hung up on him. But the thing is nobody cna really sing like "Platinum" Daniel so I don't know what to do now. Maybe you the fans can advise me! What about Mighty Talon as an all instrucmental band? Would you like that? "CAST YOUR VOTE, MY LEGIENS!" haha!

Well, you are pobably wondering how I'm able to write a METAL REVIEW of a game that's not even in stores yet? Well let's just say your fearless leader Metal Steev has a trick or two up his slevse and a contact at a certain big video game company that rhymes with Intendo! haha! So yes, the wait is over, I am hereby proud to unveil the first review ever of Super Mario Galxy 2 and not just a review, but a METAL REVIEW at that! You won't find a review in your copy of Gamepro or Nintendo Power, I will tell you that! haha! At least not yet because I'm sure at some point they will get what we in the video game industyr call "Review Copies" of the game but for now gameriffs.blogspot.com is your only place to find any indpeth info9rmation about Super Mario Galaxy 2. So let's go on with this already! "TAKE IT FROM THE TOP!"

Now I must warn you that Ninteodo is going to be totally PISSED that I'm going to blow the lid off this game, so to speak but thats what happens when you are the top video game writer. You have to take one for the team! But did you know Ninteodo is really run by gangsters from Japan? It's true! They are led by the Japanese gang called Yakuza and Yakuza might see my METAL REVIEW and say "We need to getthis guy for spililng the beans!" and so if you don't hear from me maybe Yakuza has gotten me! Also Nintendo has gangsters here in the USA too! It's the truth and its kind of scary! At E3 years ago, which is this big event where all the vidoe game journalist learn about new video games Nintendo brougth out this big black guy named Reggie who cussed at the crowd and scared every one. He was like "Fuck You my name is Reggie!" and told everyone he was going to kick thier ass! This is real you can find a You Tube video to see it if you want! When I heard that I wasl ike, "Whoa, I thought Nitnendo was a kid's company" but now I know better. They are gangsters! haha!

So gangsters like money, right? "WE'RE ONLY IN IT FOR THE CASH BABY!" I think that's how a rap song goes. Well Super Mario Galaxy the originla one was the biggest selling game on Wii and Nintendo said "Let's make another one and make lot's of money!" but the guy who made it named Miyamoto who is the wordl's best video gamde designer wanted to do something new. But his boss said "We need to make money or Yakuza will get mad" so he was forced to make another one. Lucky for us he did though because Super Mario Galaxy 2 is the best game Nitnendo has ever made. If you take all of the good stuff from the Super Mario Galaxy and double or tripe it you have Super Mario Galaxy 2. The game takes place in space like the first Super Mario Galayx but there are all kinds of new planetts to go to and new people to see.

Now I don'tw antto spoil too much for you but I will tell you one big suprise that Nintendo hasn't told anyone yet. In SuperMario Galaxy 2 there is a return of a certain green friend from some old games. You are probably like "But Steve Luigi was in teh last game!" No I'm not takling about Luigi! I don't wnat to give it away but let's just say it is a certain dinosaur that you can ride and eat bad gusy with and lucky for you he can live in space just like Mario. Seriously how do thees guys not need air? "IT'S A MEE MAGICAL MARIO! I CAN A BREATH IN SPACE!" haha! You heard it here first folks. I bet your copy of Gameprop didn't have that juicy bit of information in it! "METAL STEVE TO THE RESCUE!"

The game is really long and will keep you bussy for a really long time. My secret friend at Nitnenod gave me the game almost a week ago and I have been woking very hard to finish it and finally I got most of the stars. Some of them are kind of imposssible though and I have to say "MIYAMOTO WHY DID YOU MAKE THIS PARTS SO HARD?!?!" haha! But the guy is a genius so I wont question hsi work. Since I haven't gotten every start I don't know if it unlocks anything special if you get every star but I think it probably does. But since I'm so good at video games and I haven't gotten every star it will probably be hard for average players to get every star. But my advice is keep trying. 'ONLY THE WEAK GIVE UP!" haha!

So now you have read the first review of Super Mario Galaxy 2 and lucky for you it was a METAL REVIEW from your most trutsted source Metal Steve. Just remember you king Metal Steve will never lead you asatray and my final word on this game is "GET $50 AND GO BUY THIS GMAE THE DAY IT COMES OUT IN STORES OR YOU WILL BE SORRY!" Yes the game is that good. Miyamoto has out done himself even if he was forced to maek this game for money and lucky for us we now have the best Nintedno game ever made to play. Syure it might seem impossible to get every last star but I have a feeling that when you do it'll be worth it. Remember, as your friend Metal Steve says, "IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCEED TRY TRY AGAIN AND YOU WILL GET EVERY LAST STAR!" Now I'm off to get the last few stars myself so I'm signing off. And hopefully Yakuza or Reggie don't get me! haha! Later!

Metal Steve Reviews Muscle March

Buckle your seatbleslts everyone because Metal Steve has a crazy tale that has transpired since last we met in my METAL REVIEW of Muramasa The Demon Blade for the Nintendoi Wii. You see, not only did I break up with my girlfriend or should I say EX-GLIRFRIEND Samantha but now I need to find a new drummer for my band Mighty Talon because I kicked our drummer Eric out of the band! A lot has transpired since the last 24 hours folks and Metal Steve is here to tell you the tale but hey I know you come here for METAL REVEIWS too so your pal Metal Steve will quickly tell you what transpired then get on with a METAL REVIEW for you! Okay, so let's do this. "SIR PLEASE RELAY WHAT HAPPENED MY KING!" And indeed I will! haha!

Last night Samantha told me she's sad she can't get pregnant after trying so much and I was like, "hey baby, I guess you girls just can't swim" and she got all upset and told me I wasn't being suppoirutifve and that I was going to make a terrible father. So that got me angry and I wsa like "Youi know what, why don't you go make a baby yourself then!" and then told her that hse was probably the problem because I can get plenty of chicks pregnant if I wanted. She told me to get out and yeah, well, whatever. You know the rest. No need to bore you with the detail of what transpired beyond that! haha! Just jsut say that your pal Steve is know on the market so if your girolfriend or wife breaks up with you to go for a rock star guitar player in the band Mighty Talon don't come crawling to me in tears because you hvae been warned! haha! LOL!

By now you might be saying "Whoa, Steve, where is the METAL REVIEW you promised us. Don't leave suhanging here!" and to that I say, "Patience is a virtew my loyal subjects just hang tight I'm getting to it!" haha! So I wnet to crash at my drummer Eric's apartment and he was playing his Nintendo Wii when I got there but what my eyes witness, my loayal subjects I cannot even dare describe. But because you come to yoru pal Metal Steve for his famous METAL REVIEWS I will be brave nad describe the horrible sights my eyes saw.

Eric was playing this game called Muslce March where you have to mke these gay muscle guys march through walls. Now beofre you get upset nad say "Steve, don't call people gay that's mean!" remember that I totally support gays and if I could vote I'd totally vote to let them even get married! Mighty Talon even played at a gay bar once and to the gay's credit they didn't even try to have sex with any of us because they knew we were straight and liked chicks! So you can say that Steve is even a supporter of gays. But that doens't mean I want to watch some gay msucle guys run through walls.

I was like "Eric let's play something else" but he was totally hypnotised by those guay muscle guys as they ran through walls and I was like "Eric, dude you've got to stop man, you can't watch this stuff any longer." Its not that Eric was playing a gay game that got me mad it's thatt the game is totally stupid and you just make gay muslce guys run through walls and that is totally stupid. I was like, "Who made this game?" haha! It turns out Namco Bandai made the game and even though I respect them for making other good games Muscle March is enguhgh to make me thinkg "Whoa, there si something in the water at Namco Bandai that is making them make sucky games about muslce guys who are gay running throguh walls!"

I told Eric he could choose between his precious Muscle March or playing drums for Mighty Talon and he was like "Steve you ca'tn be serious" and I was like, "Oh yes I am." Well, you can probably guess why Eric is no longer the drummer for Mithy Talon! haha! "WE ONLY WANT REAL MUSICIANS, NOT FREAKS." He was like "Nobody would kcik me out of a band for playing a game" and I was like "Watch me!" and slammed the door before going to my singer "Platinum" Daniel's house to crash. When I told him that I kicked Eric out of the band he was like "You did the right thing Steve, we dnon't need a guy like that behind the kit." haha!

So now you have read my METAL REVIEW of why Muslce March for the Nintendo Wii is a bad game and shouldn't be played. Even if you are gay and like looking at gay muscle guys I would say to avoids this game beacuse all you do is make gay msuachle guys run through walls and that is totally stupid! Namco Bandai should be ashamed of themslelves for making such a sucky game, but hey I guess they thought that many gay guys would like Muslce March but I don't think any self respecting gay guy would play a game like Muscle March so I thinkg you should avoid it, evne if you are gay! Remember, as your pal Metal Steve says, "BEING GAY IS OKAY, BUT PLAYING A SUCKY GAME JUST BECHAUSE IT IS GAY IS NOT A GOOD IDEA!" haha! Well, until nex titme, this is your pal Metal Steve signing off. And watch out ladies because Metal Stev eis officially on the prowl! LOL! Later!