Metal Steve is Back from Prison!

 Hello my faithful followers. Your king Metal Steve is back! Remember when I reuviewed Super Mario Odyssey for the nIntendo Switch and was like "I WILL PROBABLY GOTO PRISON FOR THIS!" well, guess what? Nintendo really do have ninjas they sned to take revenge for spilling all their secrets.. It seems that Miyamoto did not findd it okay that I unveiled the Konami Code. But informahtion wants to be frfee!!!

But don't worry because in prison I lift weights evrey day and got super buff! Haha! I need to pay a visit to "Platimnum" Daniel because he and my (ex!!!) girlfriend Samantha we're hooking up while poor Steve was in the slammer. "DARKNESS, IMPRISONING ME, ALL THAT I SEE, ASBOLUTE HORROR!" An all time classic quote that sums it all up.

So Daniel.. Metal Steve is comign for you! As Metal Steve says: "YOU MESS WITH THE BULLL YOU GET THE HORNS!" Here is a photo of me pretending to be Hagar from Final fIght! Hey Daniel you are the oil drum get it? Later!

Metal Steve Reviews Muscle March

Buckle your seatbleslts everyone because Metal Steve has a crazy tale that has transpired since last we met in my METAL REVIEW of Muramasa The Demon Blade for the Nintendoi Wii. You see, not only did I break up with my girlfriend or should I say EX-GLIRFRIEND Samantha but now I need to find a new drummer for my band Mighty Talon because I kicked our drummer Eric out of the band! A lot has transpired since the last 24 hours folks and Metal Steve is here to tell you the tale but hey I know you come here for METAL REVEIWS too so your pal Metal Steve will quickly tell you what transpired then get on with a METAL REVIEW for you! Okay, so let's do this. "SIR PLEASE RELAY WHAT HAPPENED MY KING!" And indeed I will! haha!

Last night Samantha told me she's sad she can't get pregnant after trying so much and I was like, "hey baby, I guess you girls just can't swim" and she got all upset and told me I wasn't being suppoirutifve and that I was going to make a terrible father. So that got me angry and I wsa like "Youi know what, why don't you go make a baby yourself then!" and then told her that hse was probably the problem because I can get plenty of chicks pregnant if I wanted. She told me to get out and yeah, well, whatever. You know the rest. No need to bore you with the detail of what transpired beyond that! haha! Just jsut say that your pal Steve is know on the market so if your girolfriend or wife breaks up with you to go for a rock star guitar player in the band Mighty Talon don't come crawling to me in tears because you hvae been warned! haha! LOL!

By now you might be saying "Whoa, Steve, where is the METAL REVIEW you promised us. Don't leave suhanging here!" and to that I say, "Patience is a virtew my loyal subjects just hang tight I'm getting to it!" haha! So I wnet to crash at my drummer Eric's apartment and he was playing his Nintendo Wii when I got there but what my eyes witness, my loayal subjects I cannot even dare describe. But because you come to yoru pal Metal Steve for his famous METAL REVIEWS I will be brave nad describe the horrible sights my eyes saw.

Eric was playing this game called Muslce March where you have to mke these gay muscle guys march through walls. Now beofre you get upset nad say "Steve, don't call people gay that's mean!" remember that I totally support gays and if I could vote I'd totally vote to let them even get married! Mighty Talon even played at a gay bar once and to the gay's credit they didn't even try to have sex with any of us because they knew we were straight and liked chicks! So you can say that Steve is even a supporter of gays. But that doens't mean I want to watch some gay msucle guys run through walls.

I was like "Eric let's play something else" but he was totally hypnotised by those guay muscle guys as they ran through walls and I was like "Eric, dude you've got to stop man, you can't watch this stuff any longer." Its not that Eric was playing a gay game that got me mad it's thatt the game is totally stupid and you just make gay muslce guys run through walls and that is totally stupid. I was like, "Who made this game?" haha! It turns out Namco Bandai made the game and even though I respect them for making other good games Muscle March is enguhgh to make me thinkg "Whoa, there si something in the water at Namco Bandai that is making them make sucky games about muslce guys who are gay running throguh walls!"

I told Eric he could choose between his precious Muscle March or playing drums for Mighty Talon and he was like "Steve you ca'tn be serious" and I was like, "Oh yes I am." Well, you can probably guess why Eric is no longer the drummer for Mithy Talon! haha! "WE ONLY WANT REAL MUSICIANS, NOT FREAKS." He was like "Nobody would kcik me out of a band for playing a game" and I was like "Watch me!" and slammed the door before going to my singer "Platinum" Daniel's house to crash. When I told him that I kicked Eric out of the band he was like "You did the right thing Steve, we dnon't need a guy like that behind the kit." haha!

So now you have read my METAL REVIEW of why Muslce March for the Nintendo Wii is a bad game and shouldn't be played. Even if you are gay and like looking at gay muscle guys I would say to avoids this game beacuse all you do is make gay msuachle guys run through walls and that is totally stupid! Namco Bandai should be ashamed of themslelves for making such a sucky game, but hey I guess they thought that many gay guys would like Muslce March but I don't think any self respecting gay guy would play a game like Muscle March so I thinkg you should avoid it, evne if you are gay! Remember, as your pal Metal Steve says, "BEING GAY IS OKAY, BUT PLAYING A SUCKY GAME JUST BECHAUSE IT IS GAY IS NOT A GOOD IDEA!" haha! Well, until nex titme, this is your pal Metal Steve signing off. And watch out ladies because Metal Stev eis officially on the prowl! LOL! Later!

Metal Steve Reviews Dead Rising

Today I wanted to talk to you about a game the singer for my band Mighty Talon likes a lot, and this game in questions is called Dead Rising. I like the game a lot, too, so I told my band's singer whose name is Daniel, or "Platinum Daniel" as we call him, that he has good taste in games. haha! We call him "Platinum Daniel" because that is how many records we plan to sell when we release our first album once we record it and get it released on a major recdord label. People will go to the CD store and be like "Hey do you guys have the new Mighty Talon CD" and the cashier will be like "Turn around and look behind you." When they turn around they'll see a whole wall with copies of the Mighty Talon album but they'd better be quick to grab a copy because there will be countless screaming fans running to grab a copy! Even black people who like rap and other types of people who don't usually like METAL will have to buy copies and say, "Whoa Steve, I didn't think I liked METAL but this Mighty Talon albummakes me like METAL now!" haha! It's gonig to be pretty awesome, I assure you. But now is not the time to talk about Mighty Talon. No, now is the time to talk about my METAL REVIEW of Dead Rising for the Xbox-360. So sit back nd prepare yourselfs my faithful fans, because my METAL REVIEW of Dead Rising for the Xbox-360 begins now!

The game Dead Rising is about a guy who takes pictures for a living and somehwo he gets stuck in a mall full of zombies in a small town in America. The guy's name is Frank and even though you can take pictures with his camera don't have to use that to fight zombies. Because you're in a mall you can just about anything you can find you can use to fight zombies. So that means you can use dummies they use to model clothes, guns, skateboards, golf clubs, man just about everything you can think of. There are even chainsaws and ninja swords! Plus you can change Frank's clothes but be careful because you might accidentally put him in woman's clothes and that's just not right! Poor Frank! "WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU?" haha! I never know a cross-dresser that wasn't gay but Frank isn't gay so don't dress him like a woman! haha! But I don't hate gays or anything, it's just that Frank is not gay so don't do that to him! haha! But I bet even gays would buy the Mighty Talon CD when it comes out and I always support my fans.

The goal of Dead Rising for the Xbox-360 is to kill every single zombie in the mall. There are also "BOSSES" you have to fight like a clown with chainsaws and "CITIZENS" you have to rescue like fat people and little kids. But if you don't want to rescute the "CITIZENS" you can just choose not to do that if you don't feel like it. It's like "Hey guys I'm sorry but I'm too busy to save you, but there are weapons around the mall why don't you use those?" They're just lazy! haha! If you want to kill all the zombies here's a Metal Steve secret. There is a car hidden in the parking area but you have to find it which is not easy to do! But if you have the car you can run over zombies. It's not really that realistic though because you car doesn't even really take any damage so it lookskind of fake. But killing all the zombies with the car is the easy way to go! I don't know if the makers of Dead Rising want you to know that secret but now you do, thanks to your friend Metal Steve! "LET'S TAKE DOWN THESE ZOMBIES TOGETHER, OK?" haha!

Dead Rising is one of the most violent games ever but since you kill zombies and not living people nobody really cares. The game can be played by little kids and unless they're wimps they wno't be scared. Well not really little kids but I'm talkign like 10 or 12 years old, they can probably play a game like this. Just don't be surprised if they wet their pants from being scared! haha! But just tell him "Hey man, this isn't real so don't be such a wimp!" Well, maybe kids should not play a game like Dead Rising unless they're brave. Ask the kids "ARE YOU BRAVE ENOUGH TO FIGHT ZOMBIES!" but if they don't say "Yes" then don't let them play the game. Adults will really like the game, though, and they should run to get a copy if they don't already own it. Even if they own it, though, they should play it again! haha!

Now you have read my METAL REVIEW of Dead Rising for the Xbox-360 and know why both Platinum Daniel and me like it so much. It is a violent game but since you just kill zombies it's not so bad. Maybe you shouldn't let kids play it but if they're kind of brave kids they will probabyl want to play it and it won't be a problem. Just don't be surprised if they pee their pants if they're not brave! haha! But zombies aren't living people so the violence isn't that bad! Now if you will excuse me I must get ready for band practice with my band Mighty Talon. We are trying otu a new song that I wrote today and hopefully Eric our drummer has been practicing. He's kind of been slacking off on his practicing lately and has been sloppy. He'd better watch out or Platinum Daniel and I will send Eric to a mall fullof zombies that want to eat his brains. "BRAINS! WE COME FOR BRAINS!" haha! Until next time this is Metal Steve bidding you a fond farewell. Remembe,r as Metal Steve says: "DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE ZOMBIES, BE MORE AFRAID OF DRESSING LIKE A LADY!" Later!