Metal Steve Reviews Hyper Gunsport

 Hello my faithful fans. Your lord nad savior Metal Steve has returned! Its been a while sinche my last METAL REVIEW but I am back with an unknow game called "Hyper Gunsport." You are not ready for what this gmae is, my loyal minyins! Hyper Gunsport is like volley ball only you use a gun to shoot the ball. I wouldnt have ever guessed that you could add guns to volley ball. So how is the game you might be asking? "Steve, it is worth my hard earned cash?" Well Im sorry to say it is not. And there is one big reason why. The copmpany that made the game is called Necrosoft and they are total amatures! "YOU WANNA PLAY WITH THE BIG BOYS, YOU GOTTA GET OFF THE POTTY FRIST!"

Now befor we go any further let me say this. The game looks great if you like old games, that is. But if your into newer games youll be asking yourself "Whoa, did someone put out a Super Nintendo game in 2023?" The anwser is kind of. Actually the game is more like a system you probabbly dont know about called The Neogeo. "Steve you make this up!" you scream? Neogeo is from the 80s and it was once the strongest machine until Miyamoto at Nintnedo found out about it. "What is this crap?" he probably said. The Neogeo has lame games like a fake super Maroi bros called blue's Journey and its so bad. Thats why Nintendo came ouw with the SUPER NINTENDO to show Neogeo that they are the boss. Miyamoto said "Time to go ful power!" and made Nintendo's most powernful console until the Wii.

Okay, enough aboout Neogeo and Miymoto! We aer here to talk about Hyper Gunsoport! LIke I sadi earlier it is by a company called Necrosoft. Smething you might not know is necro is Japanese for DEATH. So Necrosoft is DEATH software. Thats what we in the industry calll an Easter egg, which is a thing people snake into their games to ge3t credit for their work. The most famous example is a game called Adventure on the Atari 2600 that had some guy put his name in it for peop;le to find and say "What's this?" So soemone at Neocrosoft thinks Easter eggs are cool even if I hate easter!! "YOU'LL NEVER CATCH STEVE IN A BUNNNY COSTUME!" LOl. 

So what is Hyper Gunsport, you mght be asking? Its like badmittin only you shoot a ball with guns and try to score touchdowns or goals. Each team has two pepole and you can select countries like Oalkland USA ("USA! USA!" LOL) or I thiunk Tanzaniya, I'm not sure. I was too busy trying to figure out the controls. You have to use the analogg stick to do some aiming and shooting and it simply does not work. "Come back and tlak to Steve when you get it working with a SUPER NNTENDO controller!" haha. Plus lets not kid ourselves here. Badmittin is a pretty bad game and why Necrosoft chose badmittin is beyond me. Maybe the company President likes badmittin and thought, "What if w e combined badmittin and shooting?" Sodunds good on paper but it just does not work out well. Fire that president! haha

"Steve yuour bumming me out, dude!" you might be saiying. Well, sorrry to say not every game can be as good as Super Mario Odyssie. Hey Necorsoft you got some spare millions of dollarrs lieing around that you can pay to Miyamoto to come help make your game better? It needs some serious polish. Stop tormetning my eyes with these 8-bit graphics! haha. Good thinkg I don't have to see my guitar to play it because these bad graphics are making me blidn. "THREE BLIND STEVES SEE HOW HE RUNS!" And guess what. Nobody likkes music like this game has. Bad graphics and bad music. Maybe next time bring in ol' Steve to play guitar on the music tracks. "FOR A FEE. I AINT FREE!" haha.

So there you have it my loyal subjectss: a review of Hyper Gunsport for the Ninthendo Switch. I bet Miyamoto is mad someone put this game on a consle he took so long to make. Its like one time when Frankie from the band Witch Fire stahed at my aparetment and stained the botton of the toilet bowl. I could not wait for him to leave. That is like Hyper Gunsport on the Nintedo Switch. I hope Neocrosoft knows they should be ashamed for defiling the sport of badmittin so badly!

Well that's all the time we have for today. Thank you for readnig my METAL REIVEW of Hyper Gun Sport. Remember as your pal Metal Steve says: "If youre gonna make an old looking game, you can do a lot betetr than tehe Neogeo!" Save your money fo r something liek a case of beer instead. LOL. Later!

Metal Steve is Back from Prison!

 Hello my faithful followers. Your king Metal Steve is back! Remember when I reuviewed Super Mario Odyssey for the nIntendo Switch and was like "I WILL PROBABLY GOTO PRISON FOR THIS!" well, guess what? Nintendo really do have ninjas they sned to take revenge for spilling all their secrets.. It seems that Miyamoto did not findd it okay that I unveiled the Konami Code. But informahtion wants to be frfee!!!

But don't worry because in prison I lift weights evrey day and got super buff! Haha! I need to pay a visit to "Platimnum" Daniel because he and my (ex!!!) girlfriend Samantha we're hooking up while poor Steve was in the slammer. "DARKNESS, IMPRISONING ME, ALL THAT I SEE, ASBOLUTE HORROR!" An all time classic quote that sums it all up.

So Daniel.. Metal Steve is comign for you! As Metal Steve says: "YOU MESS WITH THE BULLL YOU GET THE HORNS!" Here is a photo of me pretending to be Hagar from Final fIght! Hey Daniel you are the oil drum get it? Later!

Metal Steve Reviews Super Mario Odyssey

Yes, my loayal subjects, your eyes are not playing tricks on you! Well maybe they are, but in that case you probably shoudl go see your eye doctor and say "Hey man! These glasses I paid $200 for are CRAP!" Haha! But indeed, your mighty king Metal Steve stands before you, or beofre his keyboard typing this as you imagine me standing on top of a pile of fallen warriers, my mighty axe held high and Zeus himself giving a look down as if to say I AM IMPRESSED, STEVE!

So I know you are probably asking "Whoat, Steve, you totally abandoned us, man!" Well, your mighty ruler may have been gone bu tit is for good reason, my friends. And I will admit it. Metal Steve was in prison! "THEY WANNA PUT ME IN JAIL. MAN I'M ALREAYD IN JAIL. DONT THEY KNOW MY LIFES JUST ONE.. .BIG... CELL!" Scott Ian from Anthrax was right! Jail sucks! And Migty Talon is no more. That rat bastad "Platinum" Daniel pressed charges against me, the invinicle Metal Steve and it happened oversees so that was even worse. I lost all my gear and I thought my life was over. But now I'm FREE and "Platinum" Daniel is going to be "Tin" Daniel soon if I ever find him because tin is totally weak justt like him and I called him rat bastard but not cool like RATT. Well haha! Actually RATT were never cool. That's a band fat chicks in placse like Wisconsen wear shirts of and durnk guys in bars are like "WHOA I THINK I CAN HAVE SEX WITH THAT! SHE LIKS RATT!" Only guys don't have sex with that becaues she probably at pizza pockets all evening and her gas is probalby worse than her looks without makeup and in full sun light. Haha!

Okay now that you know why yoru fearless leader has been gone all thees years, it is TIME FOR THE SHOW! And yes my loyal subjects, I know Super Mario Odyssey is not available to buy and will not be out at places like Best Byu and Game stop for months but I found a way to get it early. Because I want you to experine this masterpace I am going to tell you a secret.

Back in the 1980's Nintendo made a rule that each company could only releaes 4 games a year on the Nint nedo. The probem was, they guy at Nintendo who makes all the games named Miyamoto made so many games that he said "I can't release just 4, guys!" The President of Nitnendo said "Find a solution. Not my problem!" so Miyamoto put on his thinking hat and said HA! I HAVE IT and made up some fake companies. One company was called Konami and people domn't know that was actually Miymamoto all along but it was! I wish he puled off a mask and said "Guess who?!" like a Scoobie Doo episode! Haha!

When Miyamoto was making games pretenging to be other companies he decided to create a trade makr to show it was him. This was what is called an "Easter Egg" in video games. The first Easter Egg gave you 30 lives in the shooter Gradius. And you all know this code! And that is how I got Super Maroi Odyssey. More on that in a second, my hungry followsrs. Patience is a virtue! Haha!

So in Gradius you pressed Up Up Down down Left right letf Right A B and some pepple say Start but that is actually no important! And you know what happens? Miyamoto left you a present. 30 lives! Do it in any Konami game and you get 30 lives! Now Dracula won't seem to hard in Castlevania right? "WIMPS AND POSERS! LEAVE THE HALL!" AhHa!

Your boss MetalSteve is not to oashamed to admit he is back at home with his parents untl he gets on his feet again. Prison sucks! And prison in the forign lands if the worst! But the goo d news is my dad gave me a loan and I was able to buy a Nintndo Switch! And it is Miyamaoto's best work yet. The man is a genius and his newst game you haven't played is his best game yet. Yes, friends, Metal Steve is talking about Super Mario Odyssey and this is my METAL REVIEW of Super Mario Odysessy for the Nintendo Switch!

"But Steve! You dind't tell us how to get it!" Haha! I wanted to leav emy own "Easter Eagg" but I'll tell you. Maybe go back to school and pay attention instead of smoking pot in the bathroom and trying to look down girls shirts all day. Wait, that's what I did and I turend out fine! Haha. "SMOKING IN THE BOYS ROOM IS WHAT I DO BEST!" That's a rap vocal for all of you rap guys! Haha! But the Beasutie Boys are kind of rock and started as punk. I bet you didn't know that. "What Steve, you are blowing my midn today man!" "I BLOW MINDS FOR A LIVING!"

If you open the Nintendo Switch shop you will find Miyamoto's greatest "Eastre Egg" ever. You need to ciscover it yourself but here is a big hint. Go to the previw of Supe rMario Odyssey. See it? Okay, now remember that "Easter Egg" from Gradius. ONl insteady of 30 lives, you get SUPER MARIO ODSSYEY! YES! Haha! Please, stop bowing and chanting my name! "STEVE! STEVE! STEVE! STEVE! STEVE~!" Okay you can keep chanting. Haha!

So how is the gmae? It is Miyamoto's greatest accomplsihm. The graphics, the music, the controls. it is the best video game mankind has ever seen. Nintendo will probably kill me for telling you how to get it early, but Miyamoto left that there for us to find didnt he? The President of Nintendo is probably yelling "MIYAMOTHO! NOT AGAIN!" and hsaking his fist and Miyamoto is running ahead of him laughing.

Your knight in shining armor Steve does not want to spoil the game, but just so you know Mario's hat is a little differeent this time. I'll give you a sneak peek: It has eyes. Yes! And Mario can throw it! Not only that but Mario is going to travel to places he has enver been in a Mario game. And he will see things he hasn enver seen in a Mario game. "STEVE! TELL US MORE!" you scream? Okay, one more secret: He can jump; on taxis! Wait. I have said too much. Ninteodno will send their ninjas to get me! haha! That is the price I pay for my fans.

Now that you have read my METLA REVIEW of "Supe rMario Odyssey" you kmnow it is Miyamoto's fimnest hour and might evne know how to play it NOW instead of waiting until 2018! Jsut remember to use Miyamoto's famous Konami Code and you will be all set. Remember, as your commanding officer Metal Steve says: "IF YOU THOUGHT MARIO WAS SUPER BERFORE, JUST WAIT UNITL YOU GET TO THROW YOUR HAT AT ENEMIES AND RUN AROUND IN NEW YORK!" Until nex ttime, this is the great Metal Steve signing off. Hopefuplly I'll see you before I got to prison again after I get my revenge on "Platinium" Daniel. haha! Later!

Metal Steve Reviews Super Mario Galaxy 2

I'm sorry for my absense, faithful fans, but your old buddy Metal Steve's life has been a total whirlwind lately LITERALLY. haha! First, my band Mighty Talon might be on the verge of a breakup thanks to our stpuiod lead singer "Platinum" Daniel getting married. He called me the other day and was like, 'Hey Steve I think I can't come to practiec this week because my wife wants me to be home with her" and I was like "WHAT THE HELL?" There is a saing rap guys like to use that I think is approprriate here: "BRO'S BEFORE HO'S." Well, when I told that to "Platinum" Daniel he got all mad and was like "Steve come on man don't call Donna a ho" and I wasl ike "Later!" and hung up on him. But the thing is nobody cna really sing like "Platinum" Daniel so I don't know what to do now. Maybe you the fans can advise me! What about Mighty Talon as an all instrucmental band? Would you like that? "CAST YOUR VOTE, MY LEGIENS!" haha!

Well, you are pobably wondering how I'm able to write a METAL REVIEW of a game that's not even in stores yet? Well let's just say your fearless leader Metal Steev has a trick or two up his slevse and a contact at a certain big video game company that rhymes with Intendo! haha! So yes, the wait is over, I am hereby proud to unveil the first review ever of Super Mario Galxy 2 and not just a review, but a METAL REVIEW at that! You won't find a review in your copy of Gamepro or Nintendo Power, I will tell you that! haha! At least not yet because I'm sure at some point they will get what we in the video game industyr call "Review Copies" of the game but for now gameriffs.blogspot.com is your only place to find any indpeth info9rmation about Super Mario Galaxy 2. So let's go on with this already! "TAKE IT FROM THE TOP!"

Now I must warn you that Ninteodo is going to be totally PISSED that I'm going to blow the lid off this game, so to speak but thats what happens when you are the top video game writer. You have to take one for the team! But did you know Ninteodo is really run by gangsters from Japan? It's true! They are led by the Japanese gang called Yakuza and Yakuza might see my METAL REVIEW and say "We need to getthis guy for spililng the beans!" and so if you don't hear from me maybe Yakuza has gotten me! Also Nintendo has gangsters here in the USA too! It's the truth and its kind of scary! At E3 years ago, which is this big event where all the vidoe game journalist learn about new video games Nintendo brougth out this big black guy named Reggie who cussed at the crowd and scared every one. He was like "Fuck You my name is Reggie!" and told everyone he was going to kick thier ass! This is real you can find a You Tube video to see it if you want! When I heard that I wasl ike, "Whoa, I thought Nitnendo was a kid's company" but now I know better. They are gangsters! haha!

So gangsters like money, right? "WE'RE ONLY IN IT FOR THE CASH BABY!" I think that's how a rap song goes. Well Super Mario Galaxy the originla one was the biggest selling game on Wii and Nintendo said "Let's make another one and make lot's of money!" but the guy who made it named Miyamoto who is the wordl's best video gamde designer wanted to do something new. But his boss said "We need to make money or Yakuza will get mad" so he was forced to make another one. Lucky for us he did though because Super Mario Galaxy 2 is the best game Nitnendo has ever made. If you take all of the good stuff from the Super Mario Galaxy and double or tripe it you have Super Mario Galaxy 2. The game takes place in space like the first Super Mario Galayx but there are all kinds of new planetts to go to and new people to see.

Now I don'tw antto spoil too much for you but I will tell you one big suprise that Nintendo hasn't told anyone yet. In SuperMario Galaxy 2 there is a return of a certain green friend from some old games. You are probably like "But Steve Luigi was in teh last game!" No I'm not takling about Luigi! I don't wnat to give it away but let's just say it is a certain dinosaur that you can ride and eat bad gusy with and lucky for you he can live in space just like Mario. Seriously how do thees guys not need air? "IT'S A MEE MAGICAL MARIO! I CAN A BREATH IN SPACE!" haha! You heard it here first folks. I bet your copy of Gameprop didn't have that juicy bit of information in it! "METAL STEVE TO THE RESCUE!"

The game is really long and will keep you bussy for a really long time. My secret friend at Nitnenod gave me the game almost a week ago and I have been woking very hard to finish it and finally I got most of the stars. Some of them are kind of imposssible though and I have to say "MIYAMOTO WHY DID YOU MAKE THIS PARTS SO HARD?!?!" haha! But the guy is a genius so I wont question hsi work. Since I haven't gotten every start I don't know if it unlocks anything special if you get every star but I think it probably does. But since I'm so good at video games and I haven't gotten every star it will probably be hard for average players to get every star. But my advice is keep trying. 'ONLY THE WEAK GIVE UP!" haha!

So now you have read the first review of Super Mario Galaxy 2 and lucky for you it was a METAL REVIEW from your most trutsted source Metal Steve. Just remember you king Metal Steve will never lead you asatray and my final word on this game is "GET $50 AND GO BUY THIS GMAE THE DAY IT COMES OUT IN STORES OR YOU WILL BE SORRY!" Yes the game is that good. Miyamoto has out done himself even if he was forced to maek this game for money and lucky for us we now have the best Nintedno game ever made to play. Syure it might seem impossible to get every last star but I have a feeling that when you do it'll be worth it. Remember, as your friend Metal Steve says, "IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCEED TRY TRY AGAIN AND YOU WILL GET EVERY LAST STAR!" Now I'm off to get the last few stars myself so I'm signing off. And hopefully Yakuza or Reggie don't get me! haha! Later!