Metal Steve Reviews Pac-Man

Today I have a METAL REVIEW of one of the most popular games of all time. You've probably heard of it because it's called PAC-MAN. "CAN YOU GET THE POWER PELLETS?" haha! But before I start my METAL REVIEW of Pac-Man I wanted to let you know that Samantha is mad at me. She didn't like that I called her a whore last night even though I was joking! She told me I could sleep on the couch but really it was a joke! That's a Metal Steve promise. IT was technically April Fools Day because it was past midnight and we were drinking beer and watching TV. I said "Hey Samantha I heard you had an abortion from Eric! Why are you doing it with Eric you whore!" but before I could say "April Fools!" she walked out of the room and when I went after her she was like "Steve get away I hate you that's not true" and so I said "April Fools!" but she was like "Get away!" so I went to the other room. Today when she left for work I said "Sorry!" but she just walked out withotu saying Goodbye. Man, I guess she's mad! What a whore! haha! Just kidding! No really I'm just kidding! I don't think Samantha is a whore. haha! But if I seem kind of sad or weird in this METAL REVIEW of Pac-Man now you know why I am that way.

Back in the 1980s Pac-Man was a total culture trend. Everyone from old grannies to little school kids were like "Whoa, what is this game?" and they paid millions of dollars in quarters to play it. Well not everyone paid millions, I mean if you tallie it all up you'll find it was millions of dollars. haha! But did you know how Pac-Man got his name? That's a secret but leave it to your old pal Metal Steve to fill you in on the dteails here. OK, there was this guy in Japan who invented Pac-Man but he wanted to call it FAT-MAN because all the guy did is eat. He had to use kind of bad graphics because that was all that was possible at the time but he said "I know, I'll make him totally round because he's fat and he'll eat a bunch of food because he's fat!" But since the guy was from Japan he didn't speak English very well and when he said Fat-Man it sounded like Pac-Man! But nobody could understand him when he tried to explain it and he just gave up and said "Fine, call Fa-tMan Pac-Man if you wnat to" and that is what happened! So now we all know him as Pac-Man but really he's Fat-Man! I know you are blown away by this information I'm sure! haha! But it's all true and that's a Metal Steve promise.

You know why now that he is called Pac-Man but did you know why there are ghosts? It's because they are haunting him because he's so fat. Remember in Scrooge when the ghosts come to haunt him because he's so bad adn they're saying "You are going to die if you don't change your ways?" It's the same thing in Pac-Man only they're saying "We are going to make you die if you don't stop eating so much" but I guess they're kind of evil ghosts because they kill him anyway even if he stops eating! haha! But luckily Pac-Man has a secret weapon called a "POWER PELLET" that he can eat that lets him eat ghosts. The bad news is the ghost are indestructible so if he eats them their eyes which are not edibile fly back to their secret base and the ghosts come back, hungry for revenge. "LOOK OUT, PAC-MAN!" haha!

I saw a picture of the number one Pac-Man player in the world and thought he was METAL because he has long hair and a beard. His name is Billy but I can't remember his last name but that does'nt matter because he is NOT METAL I totally assure you. He might be good at Pac-Man but he makes hot sauce for a living and if he were METAL he woudl not have such a lame job. haha! I mean I might be an assistant manager to pay bills but I also am the top METAL guitar player in all of Fresno and possibly California, so unless Billy has an awesome band like Mighty Talon that I don't know about, he is NOT METAL. He is good at Pac-Man, though, so I have to give him respect for that and maybe I'd have a beer with him but I don't think we could be friends. haha! But congratulations on your score Billy!

You have now read my METAL REVIEW of Pac-Man which is one of the most popular games ever. I don't think it's quite as popular as Tetris and it's not as peaceful because Pac-Man "OR SHOULD I SAY FAT-MAN" and the ghosts try to get each other. haha! Pac-Man has kind of bad graphcis but I can't blame them because they didn't know any better and couldn't make anything better back then. Just remember if Gamepro or some other magazine tries to tell you that Pac-Man is actually supposed to be Fat-Man you heard it from Metal Steve's Game Riffs first! haha! If it wasn't for some guy ffrom Japan not being able to speak English then we'd all be calling him Fat-Man! haha! OK my faithful fans that is all for this time. Hopefully by next time Samantha will stop being mad at me and forgive me for calling her a whore! haha! This is Metal Steve signing off. Remember as Metal Steve says: "LAY OFF THE SNACKS OR YOU'LL GET HAUNTED BY EVIL GHOSTS!" Later!