A couple days ago "Platinum" Daniel, the singer in my band Mighty Talon made me think about somtehing and I wonder if maybe he is right. I showed him Metal Steve's Game Riffs and told him about how it provides game reviews that are made for "HARDCORE" gamers but he said "Hey STeve whey are there no comments, maybe nobody reads it?" and I said "What do you mean?" Then he showed me how all of my articles say "Comments 0" at the end and I was like "I don't know, maybe there's nothing more to say after my thorough reviews!" haha! But Daniel said he thikns nobody reads this site. That got me kind of mad and I told him to get out of my house but then I started thinking and maybe Daniel is right that nobody reads this site. So if you read this site maybe you can let me know that you like my METAL REVIEWS or maybe I should stop making METAL REVIEWS and stick to just making METAL with Mighty Talon. I wanted to make a site for "HARDCORE" gamers who would say "Man, I'm sick of Gamepro, it's not hardcore enough" and when they'd type gameriffs.blogspot.com into their internet they would be like "Whoat his is so much better than Gamepro let me put that magazine in the trash, I've found a new source for game reviews" and I'd say "You mean METAL REVIEWS!" haha! I know that my faithful fans have go to be reading so I will keep the flame alive "THE SOUL STILL BURNS" haha! So let's get down to business and you can read my METAL REVIEW of Super Mario Galaxy for the Nintendo Wii. And don't be afraid to leave a comment even if you are intimidated by my knowledge! haha!
So as you all know Mario is a character that Nintendo created years ago. The guy who made Mario was really into Italy and wanted to travel there but when he made the original Mario games he was poor because Nintendo wasn't a very big company yet so he said "I know, I'll just put Italy into a game." But the president of Nintendo said "Nobody wants to play a game about Italy!" so the guy who made Mario said "OK, fine but he can be an Italian guy in a game right?" and the president said "Well, OK but give him a job." So the guy who made Mario made Mario a plumber becasue he used to work as a plumber when he was a kid in Japan because his dad was a plumber. That is why he put pipes into the game and mushrooms were his favorite food so he said "Ok let's put tha tin, too, man I wish I could go to Italy and get pizza with mushrooms on it! Oh well!" haha! So that is the history of Mario and why he is a plumber and eatss mushrooms. It's a godo thing Nintendo were poor back then because if the guy who made Mario went to Italy he maybe wouldln't have made Mario in the first place!
So ther ehave been lots of Mario games over the years but Nintendo have only made a few "real" Mario games like Super Mario World, Super Mario Bros, and now Super Mario Galaxy. They don't want people to get sick of Mario so they spread out the "real" games and put one out every seven years. This time they said "I know! Let's put Mario in space!" because the guy who makes Mario always wanted to go to the moon. It was his dream to be an astronaut when he was a kid but his dad said "You have to learn to be a plumber like me" but instead he made games and put in all the stuff he dreamed aobut. So anyway with the new one they said "Let's put Mario in space" but then they had to figure out how to do that. So they said "Mario doesn't need gravity since he's in space!" and so Mario can fly through all the stars. He still has to fight King Koopa and rescute the Princess but now he can fly with the help of the Wii Remote controller. You shake it to make spin and press the button to jump. It's kind of confusing especially when you're drunk! haha! But after playing for a bit you'll think "Wow, so this is what's it's like to live in space!"
Super Mari Galaxy ont he Nintendo Wii has the best graphics ever made for the Nintendo Wii because Nintendo used secrets that nobody else knows about. I don't know for sure but I think they used "MOTION CAPTURE" which is a special method to capture how people move and put that into how Mario flies. They also used advanced graphics chips to make the fire look real and took photos of the starts to make all the stars and planets look real too! It took a lot of work and I bet they were like "We're glad we can wait seven years before making another real Mario game!" haha! The game also has the best music ever in a Nintendo game because this is one of the first games to have real musicians playing the music. There isn't really any heavy metal in there but if you like classical music and catchy music you'll say "Wow, this is pretty good!" And there's a new girl that Mario spends time with who is maybe a rival to the Princess so the Princess is probably jealous! haha! I remember one time after a concert by my band Mighty Talon my girlfriend Samantha got mad because we let some chicks into the back area and one girl was sitting on my lap. Women! haha! That's probably what Mario says when the Princess gets mad. "Mama mia women!" haha!
So now you have read my METAL REVIEW of Super Mario Galaxy for the Nintendo Wii and know why it is such an amazing game. Nintendo wouldn't have Mario though if the guy who made Mario was allowed to go to Italy so be thankfull that he didn't go to Italy back then! That's kind of mean but he has so much money now he can probably buy Italy! haha! And don't worry he's been there over a dozne times. If you own a Nintendo Wii and you don't own Super Mario Galaxy you should go get it otherwise gamers like me will say "Hey what's wrong with you?" haha! And don't be afraid to levae a comment on the site and le tme know you are here even though I know you are. "YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME!" haha! OK my faithful fans, until next time this is your friend Metal Steve bidding you farewell. Remember, as Metal Steve says, "GOING ON VACATION IS FUN, BUT STAYING HOME AND DOING YOUR WORK PAYS OFF IN THE END!" Later!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Metal Steve Reviews Sin and Punishment
When you come to read METAL REVIEWS at Metal Steve's Game Riffs you know you are getting information that you can't get from any where else on the World Wide Web or even in professional videogame magazines like Gamepro. Don't ask how I get all my information because like a magician a true METAL REVIEWER doesn't reveal who he does his tricks but let's just say I know a lot of people. That is why today I am going to present you with a review of a game that you might not know excisted. This game is what we hardcore gamers call and "UNDERGROUND" game because only people who aren't at the top of the sales charts in buying video games will know about it and since I am "UNDERGROUND" I know about it! haha! The game I am referring to is called, are you ready? SIN AND PUNISHMENT for the Nintendo 64. The game was never released outside of Japan but if you promise not to tell anyone, I will let you know a secret of how to play it outside of Japan! If you have a Nintendo Wii, did you know that you can find the game on the Virtual Console Channel? I bet you didn't know that! See, someone at Nintendo snuck it on there because they said "Wow, this game is so good we need to put it out outside of Japan!" so he made it available. You might go into Game Stop and ask them "Hey guys do you have Sin and Punishment for the Nintendo 64 or Nintendo Wii?" and they'd say "Sin and What? No game exists!" but it does! haha! Even though it's a Nintendo 64 game you can play it on your Wii if you know where to look. The bad news is the guy who snuck it on there accidentally made it more expensive so now you have to pay more than you wouldh have for a Nintendo 64 game but hey, you can still play it! AWEOSME! So prepare youself for my METAL REVIEW of Sin and Punishment. "UNDERGROUND GAMERS UNITE!"
Sin and Punishment for the Nintendo 64 is considered to be the best Nintendo 64 game ever made, even more than Mario 64 and Killer Instinct 64. In fact I don't think Killer Instinct 64 is good but my drummer Eric thinks it's awesome so I told him I'd put it in here. See that Eric are you happy now? haha. Killer Instinct 64 sucks! But Mario 64 doesn't suck but Sin and PUnishment is even better than Mario 64! It was made by a game maker called "TREASURE" who are the best game makers on the planet only nobody knows about them. They ar some guys who came from another game company, I think it was Capcom, and said "Hey we're tired of making games for other companies but not getting credit so let's make games for ourselves!" and so they formed a new game making company. They called themselves "TREASURE" because their games were also worth a lot of money, even when they came out. Sin and Punishment on the Nintendo 64 cost over $100 in Japanese money when it came out and now you can't find it anywhere unless you flew to Japan and the guys in the store would say "OK wel can sell you our copy but it's going to be expensive" and when you say "How expensive" they'll say "Don't ask!" and laugh. haha!
The president of Nintendo knew that the Nintendo 64 needed something special becasue even though it was the most powerful system on the planet when it was out the Sony Playstation was beating it because the Nintendo 64 didn't have games with gun and shooting. The game makers at Nintendo said, "Don't look at us, we just make peaceful games!" and they weren't sure what to do until someone remembered "Hey what about TREASURE?" So the president of Nintendo called the president of TREASURE and asked for a favor, "Can you make a game for us with lots of shooting?" and the presidnet of TREASURE said "I though you'd never ask!" So TRESSURE got to work adn a year and a half leter they presented Nintendo with a game. "Do you like what you see?" is what they said and Nintendo said "Yes!" TREASURE said, "We call it Sin and Punishment and it is for the Nintendo 64!" And the rest is history! Only it's probably history you didn't know unless you are "UNDERGROUND" like me, but now you do know it! haha! Consider yourself a part of the "UNDERGROUND" of hardcore gamers.
The goal in Sin and Punishment is to run as fast as you can through the levels and shoot as many enemies in th elevels as you can. The more enemies you shoot the highter your score goes. You have to hold the Nintendo 64 controller in kind of a weird way but after you get used to it you hand won't even hurt! Unless you're a wimp! haha! The game features some pretty heavy music that isn't quite METAL but it's still pretty good. The graphics are really amazing and have lots of enemies to shoot, a lot at once. It's really amazing. If you play it for the first time you might say "Hey Steve I acn't play this, this is too crazy!" but I will say be patient and try your best and soon you will be running thruogh the levels and shooting more enemies than you ever though possible. "IT'S A MIRACLE!" haha! You will get better I promise. Metal Steve doesn't break promises, so don't let me down! haha!
So now you know about TREASURE and their "UNDERGROUND" game calle dSin and Punishment for the Nintendo 64. If you know what you're doing when you search the Virtual Console Channel you can find it there except it's a little more expensive than it should be but that's OK because in Japan you'd have to pay at least $200 for Sin and PUnishment for the Nintendo 64. So the money you pay on the Virtual Console Channel is nothing compared to that, unless you're homless or something! haha! And then why are you playing Wii? Get a job! haha! OK that is all for now my faithful friends. Until next time, this is Metal Steve bidding you farewell. Remember as Metal Steve says: "UNLESS YOU THINK KILLER INSTINCT 64 IS GOOD, YOU WILL FIND REAL TREASURE WHEN YOU PLAY A TREASURE GAME." Later!
Sin and Punishment for the Nintendo 64 is considered to be the best Nintendo 64 game ever made, even more than Mario 64 and Killer Instinct 64. In fact I don't think Killer Instinct 64 is good but my drummer Eric thinks it's awesome so I told him I'd put it in here. See that Eric are you happy now? haha. Killer Instinct 64 sucks! But Mario 64 doesn't suck but Sin and PUnishment is even better than Mario 64! It was made by a game maker called "TREASURE" who are the best game makers on the planet only nobody knows about them. They ar some guys who came from another game company, I think it was Capcom, and said "Hey we're tired of making games for other companies but not getting credit so let's make games for ourselves!" and so they formed a new game making company. They called themselves "TREASURE" because their games were also worth a lot of money, even when they came out. Sin and Punishment on the Nintendo 64 cost over $100 in Japanese money when it came out and now you can't find it anywhere unless you flew to Japan and the guys in the store would say "OK wel can sell you our copy but it's going to be expensive" and when you say "How expensive" they'll say "Don't ask!" and laugh. haha!
The president of Nintendo knew that the Nintendo 64 needed something special becasue even though it was the most powerful system on the planet when it was out the Sony Playstation was beating it because the Nintendo 64 didn't have games with gun and shooting. The game makers at Nintendo said, "Don't look at us, we just make peaceful games!" and they weren't sure what to do until someone remembered "Hey what about TREASURE?" So the president of Nintendo called the president of TREASURE and asked for a favor, "Can you make a game for us with lots of shooting?" and the presidnet of TREASURE said "I though you'd never ask!" So TRESSURE got to work adn a year and a half leter they presented Nintendo with a game. "Do you like what you see?" is what they said and Nintendo said "Yes!" TREASURE said, "We call it Sin and Punishment and it is for the Nintendo 64!" And the rest is history! Only it's probably history you didn't know unless you are "UNDERGROUND" like me, but now you do know it! haha! Consider yourself a part of the "UNDERGROUND" of hardcore gamers.
The goal in Sin and Punishment is to run as fast as you can through the levels and shoot as many enemies in th elevels as you can. The more enemies you shoot the highter your score goes. You have to hold the Nintendo 64 controller in kind of a weird way but after you get used to it you hand won't even hurt! Unless you're a wimp! haha! The game features some pretty heavy music that isn't quite METAL but it's still pretty good. The graphics are really amazing and have lots of enemies to shoot, a lot at once. It's really amazing. If you play it for the first time you might say "Hey Steve I acn't play this, this is too crazy!" but I will say be patient and try your best and soon you will be running thruogh the levels and shooting more enemies than you ever though possible. "IT'S A MIRACLE!" haha! You will get better I promise. Metal Steve doesn't break promises, so don't let me down! haha!
So now you know about TREASURE and their "UNDERGROUND" game calle dSin and Punishment for the Nintendo 64. If you know what you're doing when you search the Virtual Console Channel you can find it there except it's a little more expensive than it should be but that's OK because in Japan you'd have to pay at least $200 for Sin and PUnishment for the Nintendo 64. So the money you pay on the Virtual Console Channel is nothing compared to that, unless you're homless or something! haha! And then why are you playing Wii? Get a job! haha! OK that is all for now my faithful friends. Until next time, this is Metal Steve bidding you farewell. Remember as Metal Steve says: "UNLESS YOU THINK KILLER INSTINCT 64 IS GOOD, YOU WILL FIND REAL TREASURE WHEN YOU PLAY A TREASURE GAME." Later!
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Metal Steve Reviews Guitar Hero
Today I've got a METAL REVIEW of Guitar Hero but I've got to first apologize to my faithful fans for not posting in such a long time but man I've been so busy ad there has been a ton of drama in my life, it's crazy! First off because I was sick I didn't go to band practice last week but who should they put on guitar in mplace without me knowing? None ofther than that bastard Lightning Jim! No way! I was like "Whoa guys I don't want that ax hack ruining the songs I wrote with his sorry riffs" but my band members were like "Come on Steve, just give him a chance" but I was like "Forget it guys, I think Mighty Talon is ruined if you let LIghtning JIm play guitar in the band!" So we had a long fight but now it's just me on guitar as it should be though Lightning Jim keeps calling and begging me to meet with him so I can hear his guitar playing but I'm not going to! haha! Also Samantha got mad at me because I walked in on her in the bathroom when she was sick because I got her sick after I was sick. She was sitting on the toilet having diarrhea! haha! I was like "That's disgusting baby" but I was just joking though she didn't think it was funny and yelled atm e to get out then wouldn't talk to me before she went to work even though she was sick. I called in sick to my job though because you can't be sick and work around food even if you are the assistant manager. So as you can no doubt tell my life has been razy lately but don't worry, I am back and ready to bestow upon you my METAL REVIEW of Guitar Hero. Think of it as a METAL REVIEW of Guitar Hero from a "TRUE" real life Guitar Hero! haha! So let's get down to business here shall we? "DARKNESS IMPRISONING ME! ALL THAT I SEE! ABSOLUTE HORROR!"
There are actually more than one Guitar Hero games but they're all the same just with differet songs, so wehn I say "Guitar Hero" just remember that I'm talking about "ALL" Guitar Hero games and not just the first one. Did you know that in Japan there was Guitar Hero before it was here? It was called Guitar Freaks and was made by Konami. They didn't bother to put it out in the United States though, becasue Americans aren't very good musicians except for a select few like me! haha! So Konami was like "I don't know, maybe we'll put out a music game and see how it does" and that game was Dance-Dance Revolution and guess what? It was a smash hit! Americans love to dance but can they play guitar? Well a small company whose name I can't remember but they thought up bringing out Guitar Freaks in the US and Konami said "No!" so they said "Fine we'll bringing it out but with different songs and change the name." That name change was GUITAR HERO and they put it out on the Playstation2 and Konami was PISSED! haha! But the Supreme Court ruled that since the songs were different and the name was Hero, not Freaks that it was OK. So now that small company has made over one million dollars and a bigger company bought them and said "We'll help you out" and they have made a bunch of Guitar Hero games. They have it on the Wii, Playstation2, Playstation3, and every other system! It's every where! haha!
Btu remember how I said Rock Band wasn't that good because it was pretty much Pretend Band? It's kind of like that with Guitar Hero. You use the same type of dumb toy guitar and I was like "Whoa, what's this? There are no strings again!" and you just press buttons instead. For someone like me who is used to shredding on a real guitar it's kind of like an inslut, like they were all "Oh here's a guitar for you. Syke!" then instead of strings put plastic buttons. I was like "Is this a bad dream? Am I in Hell!" but I didn't wake up and there was no devil, so it was real. There were some pretty rocking songs like Megadeth and Metallica and even some sorto f metal bands I don't like as much who are still pretty good, but if you'r eplaying with a toy why bother? Here's a METAL STEVE NEWS FLASH for eveyrone out there: "Hey, if you want to see a real Guitar Hero why not fly out to Fresno and go to a Mighty Talon show!" Unless Litngtning Jim is there then don't bother because he sucks! haha!
Guitar Hero is a lot like Rock Band and not because they both suck but because they're both kind of the same thing only Rock Band has drums and microphone that you can play. But they both look kidn of the same, actually almost identical. I don't know why they copy each other but it's kind of embarassing. Guitar Hero is obviously first since it was Guitar Freaks in Japan first, but Rock Band is exactly the same except for drums and microphone so the guys who maed Rock Band should probably be ashamed of themselves for being stealers! Like how do they sleep at night? Oh yeah they make buckets of money so they don't care! haha! But that's dishonest money. At least the money I made at Mighty Talon shows or sometimes we just get free drinks but whatever, at least it's honest money and not money from stealing. It's like if I said "Oh hey guys, check out this new riff!" but I stole it from Anthrax. Scott Ian would kick my ass! haha! Well I could probably beat him up now because he's old but he's also from New York so who knows! And if you don't know how Scott Ian is you must not be METAL but he is a guitar player for Anthrax and I bet he thinks Guitar Hero sucks too! haha! An Anthrax song is in Guitar Hero and he's probably embarassed like "Hey guys look away it's hideous!" haha!
So now you know why Guitar Hero is terrible thanks to my METAL REVIEW of Guitar Hero.No matter what system you buy it for the restuls are the same, it's terrible. If you like to pretend you can play guitar and play with a plastic toy then I guess you should buy it, but you should also buy tickets to the Alanis Morissette concert while you're at it because you are totally NOT METAL. Well my faithful fans thank you for being patient while I was having drama in my life. It's great to know you understand, things are never easy for true Guitar Heros! haha! Until next time, this is Metal STeve signing off. Remember, as Metal Steve says, "IF YOU WANT TO BE A REAL GUITAR HERO, IT'S TIME TO PUT DOWN THE PLASTIC AND PICK UP THE METAL!" Later!
There are actually more than one Guitar Hero games but they're all the same just with differet songs, so wehn I say "Guitar Hero" just remember that I'm talking about "ALL" Guitar Hero games and not just the first one. Did you know that in Japan there was Guitar Hero before it was here? It was called Guitar Freaks and was made by Konami. They didn't bother to put it out in the United States though, becasue Americans aren't very good musicians except for a select few like me! haha! So Konami was like "I don't know, maybe we'll put out a music game and see how it does" and that game was Dance-Dance Revolution and guess what? It was a smash hit! Americans love to dance but can they play guitar? Well a small company whose name I can't remember but they thought up bringing out Guitar Freaks in the US and Konami said "No!" so they said "Fine we'll bringing it out but with different songs and change the name." That name change was GUITAR HERO and they put it out on the Playstation2 and Konami was PISSED! haha! But the Supreme Court ruled that since the songs were different and the name was Hero, not Freaks that it was OK. So now that small company has made over one million dollars and a bigger company bought them and said "We'll help you out" and they have made a bunch of Guitar Hero games. They have it on the Wii, Playstation2, Playstation3, and every other system! It's every where! haha!
Btu remember how I said Rock Band wasn't that good because it was pretty much Pretend Band? It's kind of like that with Guitar Hero. You use the same type of dumb toy guitar and I was like "Whoa, what's this? There are no strings again!" and you just press buttons instead. For someone like me who is used to shredding on a real guitar it's kind of like an inslut, like they were all "Oh here's a guitar for you. Syke!" then instead of strings put plastic buttons. I was like "Is this a bad dream? Am I in Hell!" but I didn't wake up and there was no devil, so it was real. There were some pretty rocking songs like Megadeth and Metallica and even some sorto f metal bands I don't like as much who are still pretty good, but if you'r eplaying with a toy why bother? Here's a METAL STEVE NEWS FLASH for eveyrone out there: "Hey, if you want to see a real Guitar Hero why not fly out to Fresno and go to a Mighty Talon show!" Unless Litngtning Jim is there then don't bother because he sucks! haha!
Guitar Hero is a lot like Rock Band and not because they both suck but because they're both kind of the same thing only Rock Band has drums and microphone that you can play. But they both look kidn of the same, actually almost identical. I don't know why they copy each other but it's kind of embarassing. Guitar Hero is obviously first since it was Guitar Freaks in Japan first, but Rock Band is exactly the same except for drums and microphone so the guys who maed Rock Band should probably be ashamed of themselves for being stealers! Like how do they sleep at night? Oh yeah they make buckets of money so they don't care! haha! But that's dishonest money. At least the money I made at Mighty Talon shows or sometimes we just get free drinks but whatever, at least it's honest money and not money from stealing. It's like if I said "Oh hey guys, check out this new riff!" but I stole it from Anthrax. Scott Ian would kick my ass! haha! Well I could probably beat him up now because he's old but he's also from New York so who knows! And if you don't know how Scott Ian is you must not be METAL but he is a guitar player for Anthrax and I bet he thinks Guitar Hero sucks too! haha! An Anthrax song is in Guitar Hero and he's probably embarassed like "Hey guys look away it's hideous!" haha!
So now you know why Guitar Hero is terrible thanks to my METAL REVIEW of Guitar Hero.No matter what system you buy it for the restuls are the same, it's terrible. If you like to pretend you can play guitar and play with a plastic toy then I guess you should buy it, but you should also buy tickets to the Alanis Morissette concert while you're at it because you are totally NOT METAL. Well my faithful fans thank you for being patient while I was having drama in my life. It's great to know you understand, things are never easy for true Guitar Heros! haha! Until next time, this is Metal STeve signing off. Remember, as Metal Steve says, "IF YOU WANT TO BE A REAL GUITAR HERO, IT'S TIME TO PUT DOWN THE PLASTIC AND PICK UP THE METAL!" Later!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Metal Steve Reviews Kingdom Hearts
yBefore I get into my METAL REVIEW of Kingdom Hearts for the Playstation2, I shoudl first apologize to all my faithful fans for not putting up any new reviews for a long time. I haven't been in a good mood lately because the guys in Mighty Talon were thinking about adding a second guitar player to the group. Right now I'm the only guitar player and they think that a second ax man would add some extra sound to our music during shows but I was like "Hey guys, no way! I can handle all of it!" but they seem to doubt my ability to handle all of it. So now we have to audition some dudes adn they want to add some guy named Lightning Jim who moved up to Fresno from San Diego but I hate San Diego so I'm like "Guys this guy is a tool!" haha! Why do I hate SAn Diego you ask? Well I'm glad you asked. I wanted to go to Tijuwana so I drove and drove my car but I ran out of gas when I got to San Diego, man that was a long trip. So I started waving my arms and asked for "HELP!" but then this car stopped and these kids started throwing eggs at me and calling me gay and stuff. I was like "What the heck!" The worst part is these kids were METAL because they had METAL tshirts on but apparently they didn't know I was METAL too event hough I was wearing a Pantera tshirt. So I vowed never to go to San Diego again. haha! Now that you know that story we can proceed with my METAL REVIEW of Kingdom Hearts for the Playstation2. "PRESS START!"
Kingdom Hearts is a Final Fantasy game but Square-Enix wanted to make it even better so they called up Disney and were like "Hey can we talk to Walt?" Really they asked for Walt becasue in Japan they don't know he's dead. The receptionist was like "I'm sorry, Walt is dead" so they talked to the president of Disney and said "Hey guys, we want to make a Final Fantasy game but make it even better so can we put Disney characters in it?" and the president said "Let me think about it." But his advisors said "Mr. President, Square-Enix makes lots of money and Final Fantasy is the most popular game ever made" so the president called back and said "Yes, youc an use Disney characters in your new game." It's a good thing he did because the game has made Square-Enix and Disney over a billion dollars! Wow! haha! Here's a Metal Steve secret for you. The KINGDOM in KINGDOM hearts stands for "MAGIC KINGDOM" which is what people call Disneyland. I'm not sure what HEARTS stand sfor but it's something from Square-Enix I'm sure.
You might think Disney isn't very METAL but at Disneyland they have some pretty METAL stuff like a haunted mansion. But I don't like Disneyland because there are too many disabled people who mess everything up for the rest of us who can walk and stuff. Samantha and I went to Disneyland a couple years ago and I was like "OK I'll go if we can go on Pirates of the Caribean" and she said we could. So we got in line but then all the boats got backed up when returning to the front because some fat guy in a wheelchair had to get in the boat and it took like vfive minutes! Samantha got mad because I yelled out "Hurry up man you're holding us all up!" but I was angry. I like handicapped people but maybe they should go someplace else or something. Like you wouldn't see a disabled dude in a most pit at a Mighty Talon concert so why do they need to go on Pirates of the Caribean? Maybe they should make a second Disneyland for disabled people and call it Disney Disabledland or something! haha!
So now that you know why Disneyland isn't very good because of all the handicapped people I can tell you why Kingdom Hearts is not like Disneyland but it is actually good. You play as a boy named Sora but you also have Donald Duck and Goofy with you and you have to save Mickey. You fight lots of enemies but the part that is fun for Disney fans is that you can play in every single Disney movie ever made. So if you like Pinochio or Snow White guess what! They've got it there for you! It's like a Disney fans dream come true! haha! Also there are cool monsters you fight that look like ghost shadows come to life. Kids might get scared until they see Donald Duck and Goofy and then they'll be like "Wow if Donald Duck and Goofy aren't scared I won't be either!" haha!
Kingdom Hearts for PLaystation2 is aone of the most expensive games ever made but it sold millions of copys and is the best selling game of all time so Square-Enix and Disney are happy. Even if you hate Disneyland you should play it. It's not really METAL but as you read in my METAL REVIEW it is still a good game. Man I am still so mad aout my stupid band wanting to add another guitar player. Lightning Jim can go back to San Diego for all I care! haha! Ok my friends this is your fearless leader Metal Steve signing off. Remember as Metal Steve says: "IT IS OK TO BE HANDICAPPED BUT DON'T HOLD UP THE LINE!" Later!
Kingdom Hearts is a Final Fantasy game but Square-Enix wanted to make it even better so they called up Disney and were like "Hey can we talk to Walt?" Really they asked for Walt becasue in Japan they don't know he's dead. The receptionist was like "I'm sorry, Walt is dead" so they talked to the president of Disney and said "Hey guys, we want to make a Final Fantasy game but make it even better so can we put Disney characters in it?" and the president said "Let me think about it." But his advisors said "Mr. President, Square-Enix makes lots of money and Final Fantasy is the most popular game ever made" so the president called back and said "Yes, youc an use Disney characters in your new game." It's a good thing he did because the game has made Square-Enix and Disney over a billion dollars! Wow! haha! Here's a Metal Steve secret for you. The KINGDOM in KINGDOM hearts stands for "MAGIC KINGDOM" which is what people call Disneyland. I'm not sure what HEARTS stand sfor but it's something from Square-Enix I'm sure.
You might think Disney isn't very METAL but at Disneyland they have some pretty METAL stuff like a haunted mansion. But I don't like Disneyland because there are too many disabled people who mess everything up for the rest of us who can walk and stuff. Samantha and I went to Disneyland a couple years ago and I was like "OK I'll go if we can go on Pirates of the Caribean" and she said we could. So we got in line but then all the boats got backed up when returning to the front because some fat guy in a wheelchair had to get in the boat and it took like vfive minutes! Samantha got mad because I yelled out "Hurry up man you're holding us all up!" but I was angry. I like handicapped people but maybe they should go someplace else or something. Like you wouldn't see a disabled dude in a most pit at a Mighty Talon concert so why do they need to go on Pirates of the Caribean? Maybe they should make a second Disneyland for disabled people and call it Disney Disabledland or something! haha!
So now that you know why Disneyland isn't very good because of all the handicapped people I can tell you why Kingdom Hearts is not like Disneyland but it is actually good. You play as a boy named Sora but you also have Donald Duck and Goofy with you and you have to save Mickey. You fight lots of enemies but the part that is fun for Disney fans is that you can play in every single Disney movie ever made. So if you like Pinochio or Snow White guess what! They've got it there for you! It's like a Disney fans dream come true! haha! Also there are cool monsters you fight that look like ghost shadows come to life. Kids might get scared until they see Donald Duck and Goofy and then they'll be like "Wow if Donald Duck and Goofy aren't scared I won't be either!" haha!
Kingdom Hearts for PLaystation2 is aone of the most expensive games ever made but it sold millions of copys and is the best selling game of all time so Square-Enix and Disney are happy. Even if you hate Disneyland you should play it. It's not really METAL but as you read in my METAL REVIEW it is still a good game. Man I am still so mad aout my stupid band wanting to add another guitar player. Lightning Jim can go back to San Diego for all I care! haha! Ok my friends this is your fearless leader Metal Steve signing off. Remember as Metal Steve says: "IT IS OK TO BE HANDICAPPED BUT DON'T HOLD UP THE LINE!" Later!
Friday, April 4, 2008
Metal Steve Reviews Pong
Today I thought it would be fun to go back to the old days with a METAL REVIEW of the first game ever made. Well by first game I mean first video game because the first game was Chinese Checkers since China invented games. They also invented fireworks, gun powder, boats, dragons, and Chinese food. Well those and a lot of other things, they were busy! haha! But let's get back on track, shall we! Today's METAL REVIEW is about a game you probably once played but now think is old and lame and that game is called Pong. But don't worry if you think Pong is lame becasue I will show you why the game is still pretty awesome even today! Don't go anywhere! You'll like what you read, I promise! haha! OK let's start my METAL REVIEW of Pong now.
Pong was an Atari game from somewhere during the 1970's before there were any video games. That's right. Before Sega. Before Nintendo. And long before Microsoft! Back then there was just some guy who was into computers. But they weren't computhers like we have today. No, they were big like huge machines and they didn't do much. Like you could maybe get it to add or subtract but they weren't even able to multiply or divide so they weren't much help for kids with homework. Plus they were really expensive, so kids didn't have them anyway! haha! Anyway, this guy who started Atari was bored with computers one day and said "Hey I know, let me try making a game I can play on my computer" and that's just what he did. HIs favorite game ever was ping pong and he played it every week but because he worked on computers all day he didn't have time, so he said "Let me just make a poing pong game for the computer!" and he worked day and night until he created Pong! And that's the story of how Pong was made!
You probably know what POng is but just in case let me giv eyou some information on how you play Pong. Back when the guy who made Atari created Pong they didn't have keyboards and mouse for computers so he had to use what they had which were knobs. So you turn the knob one way or the other to move a block on screen. The block is supposed to be your paddle in ping pong. You'll have to excuse the bad graphcis because they couldn't do any better back then because their computers had bad screens! haha! There are two rectangles, one on each side and you hit a small square, which is supposed to be the ball back and forth like ina real ping pong match. I know that words like rectangles and squares can make you think of math and get scared but don't be! haha! "CAN YOU START A RALLY WITH THE BALL?" The object of the game is to get the highest score and beat the other player. You might think that I wouldn't like a game like Pong because it has bad graphics but you'd be wrong! haha! I'm the best Pong player in Fresno and nobody has ever beaten me! haha!
The guy who made Pong knew he had smoething good on his hands because the guys in his office couldn't stop playing. In fact they played so much that they weren't getting any work done on computers. He was like "Hey guys! We've got work to do here! What have I started!" haha! So he said "That's it, I'm erasing it from the computer" and everyone was sad, but what they didn't know is he had a secret plan. He was gonig to sell the game to people to play in thier homes and that required a lot of work. He had to start a company named Atari but he kept it a secret and didn't get a lot of sleep because he would work on Pong for peoples home after the guys in his computer office wen thome. Maybe he drank lots of coffee! haha! Anyway he eventually created a prototype of Pong for homes and sent it to a factory in China and they made copies and put them in boxes so he could sell them. Pong because the most popular game in the world until Pac-Man and Tetris came out and beat it. But it's still pretty popular beleive it or not!
That was my METAL REVIEW of Pong, thank you for reading it and being a loyal fan. I'm a lot happier now because Samantha and I are no longer fighting. If you remember I tried to do an April Fool joke on her and called her a "whore" but she didn't think it was funny. So I went to the grocery store and got her flowers and told her I'm sorry a lot of times. Now we're boyfriend and girlfirend again and all is good with life! haha! Let's just say that I won at Pong last night "IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!" haha! If it weren't for the guy who made Atari and his love of ping pong we'd hever have video games. So that means no Xbox-360, Playstation3, or Nintendo Wii if he didn't make Pong! Pretty amazing and scary too! haha! So until next time my fans this is Metal Steve heading out. Remember as Metal Steve says: "WE NEED TO RESPECT OUR ELDERS, EVEN IN VIDEO GAMES!" Later!
Pong was an Atari game from somewhere during the 1970's before there were any video games. That's right. Before Sega. Before Nintendo. And long before Microsoft! Back then there was just some guy who was into computers. But they weren't computhers like we have today. No, they were big like huge machines and they didn't do much. Like you could maybe get it to add or subtract but they weren't even able to multiply or divide so they weren't much help for kids with homework. Plus they were really expensive, so kids didn't have them anyway! haha! Anyway, this guy who started Atari was bored with computers one day and said "Hey I know, let me try making a game I can play on my computer" and that's just what he did. HIs favorite game ever was ping pong and he played it every week but because he worked on computers all day he didn't have time, so he said "Let me just make a poing pong game for the computer!" and he worked day and night until he created Pong! And that's the story of how Pong was made!
You probably know what POng is but just in case let me giv eyou some information on how you play Pong. Back when the guy who made Atari created Pong they didn't have keyboards and mouse for computers so he had to use what they had which were knobs. So you turn the knob one way or the other to move a block on screen. The block is supposed to be your paddle in ping pong. You'll have to excuse the bad graphcis because they couldn't do any better back then because their computers had bad screens! haha! There are two rectangles, one on each side and you hit a small square, which is supposed to be the ball back and forth like ina real ping pong match. I know that words like rectangles and squares can make you think of math and get scared but don't be! haha! "CAN YOU START A RALLY WITH THE BALL?" The object of the game is to get the highest score and beat the other player. You might think that I wouldn't like a game like Pong because it has bad graphics but you'd be wrong! haha! I'm the best Pong player in Fresno and nobody has ever beaten me! haha!
The guy who made Pong knew he had smoething good on his hands because the guys in his office couldn't stop playing. In fact they played so much that they weren't getting any work done on computers. He was like "Hey guys! We've got work to do here! What have I started!" haha! So he said "That's it, I'm erasing it from the computer" and everyone was sad, but what they didn't know is he had a secret plan. He was gonig to sell the game to people to play in thier homes and that required a lot of work. He had to start a company named Atari but he kept it a secret and didn't get a lot of sleep because he would work on Pong for peoples home after the guys in his computer office wen thome. Maybe he drank lots of coffee! haha! Anyway he eventually created a prototype of Pong for homes and sent it to a factory in China and they made copies and put them in boxes so he could sell them. Pong because the most popular game in the world until Pac-Man and Tetris came out and beat it. But it's still pretty popular beleive it or not!
That was my METAL REVIEW of Pong, thank you for reading it and being a loyal fan. I'm a lot happier now because Samantha and I are no longer fighting. If you remember I tried to do an April Fool joke on her and called her a "whore" but she didn't think it was funny. So I went to the grocery store and got her flowers and told her I'm sorry a lot of times. Now we're boyfriend and girlfirend again and all is good with life! haha! Let's just say that I won at Pong last night "IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!" haha! If it weren't for the guy who made Atari and his love of ping pong we'd hever have video games. So that means no Xbox-360, Playstation3, or Nintendo Wii if he didn't make Pong! Pretty amazing and scary too! haha! So until next time my fans this is Metal Steve heading out. Remember as Metal Steve says: "WE NEED TO RESPECT OUR ELDERS, EVEN IN VIDEO GAMES!" Later!
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Metal Steve Reviews Dead Rising
Today I wanted to talk to you about a game the singer for my band Mighty Talon likes a lot, and this game in questions is called Dead Rising. I like the game a lot, too, so I told my band's singer whose name is Daniel, or "Platinum Daniel" as we call him, that he has good taste in games. haha! We call him "Platinum Daniel" because that is how many records we plan to sell when we release our first album once we record it and get it released on a major recdord label. People will go to the CD store and be like "Hey do you guys have the new Mighty Talon CD" and the cashier will be like "Turn around and look behind you." When they turn around they'll see a whole wall with copies of the Mighty Talon album but they'd better be quick to grab a copy because there will be countless screaming fans running to grab a copy! Even black people who like rap and other types of people who don't usually like METAL will have to buy copies and say, "Whoa Steve, I didn't think I liked METAL but this Mighty Talon albummakes me like METAL now!" haha! It's gonig to be pretty awesome, I assure you. But now is not the time to talk about Mighty Talon. No, now is the time to talk about my METAL REVIEW of Dead Rising for the Xbox-360. So sit back nd prepare yourselfs my faithful fans, because my METAL REVIEW of Dead Rising for the Xbox-360 begins now!
The game Dead Rising is about a guy who takes pictures for a living and somehwo he gets stuck in a mall full of zombies in a small town in America. The guy's name is Frank and even though you can take pictures with his camera don't have to use that to fight zombies. Because you're in a mall you can just about anything you can find you can use to fight zombies. So that means you can use dummies they use to model clothes, guns, skateboards, golf clubs, man just about everything you can think of. There are even chainsaws and ninja swords! Plus you can change Frank's clothes but be careful because you might accidentally put him in woman's clothes and that's just not right! Poor Frank! "WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU?" haha! I never know a cross-dresser that wasn't gay but Frank isn't gay so don't dress him like a woman! haha! But I don't hate gays or anything, it's just that Frank is not gay so don't do that to him! haha! But I bet even gays would buy the Mighty Talon CD when it comes out and I always support my fans.
The goal of Dead Rising for the Xbox-360 is to kill every single zombie in the mall. There are also "BOSSES" you have to fight like a clown with chainsaws and "CITIZENS" you have to rescue like fat people and little kids. But if you don't want to rescute the "CITIZENS" you can just choose not to do that if you don't feel like it. It's like "Hey guys I'm sorry but I'm too busy to save you, but there are weapons around the mall why don't you use those?" They're just lazy! haha! If you want to kill all the zombies here's a Metal Steve secret. There is a car hidden in the parking area but you have to find it which is not easy to do! But if you have the car you can run over zombies. It's not really that realistic though because you car doesn't even really take any damage so it lookskind of fake. But killing all the zombies with the car is the easy way to go! I don't know if the makers of Dead Rising want you to know that secret but now you do, thanks to your friend Metal Steve! "LET'S TAKE DOWN THESE ZOMBIES TOGETHER, OK?" haha!
Dead Rising is one of the most violent games ever but since you kill zombies and not living people nobody really cares. The game can be played by little kids and unless they're wimps they wno't be scared. Well not really little kids but I'm talkign like 10 or 12 years old, they can probably play a game like this. Just don't be surprised if they wet their pants from being scared! haha! But just tell him "Hey man, this isn't real so don't be such a wimp!" Well, maybe kids should not play a game like Dead Rising unless they're brave. Ask the kids "ARE YOU BRAVE ENOUGH TO FIGHT ZOMBIES!" but if they don't say "Yes" then don't let them play the game. Adults will really like the game, though, and they should run to get a copy if they don't already own it. Even if they own it, though, they should play it again! haha!
Now you have read my METAL REVIEW of Dead Rising for the Xbox-360 and know why both Platinum Daniel and me like it so much. It is a violent game but since you just kill zombies it's not so bad. Maybe you shouldn't let kids play it but if they're kind of brave kids they will probabyl want to play it and it won't be a problem. Just don't be surprised if they pee their pants if they're not brave! haha! But zombies aren't living people so the violence isn't that bad! Now if you will excuse me I must get ready for band practice with my band Mighty Talon. We are trying otu a new song that I wrote today and hopefully Eric our drummer has been practicing. He's kind of been slacking off on his practicing lately and has been sloppy. He'd better watch out or Platinum Daniel and I will send Eric to a mall fullof zombies that want to eat his brains. "BRAINS! WE COME FOR BRAINS!" haha! Until next time this is Metal Steve bidding you a fond farewell. Remembe,r as Metal Steve says: "DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE ZOMBIES, BE MORE AFRAID OF DRESSING LIKE A LADY!" Later!
The game Dead Rising is about a guy who takes pictures for a living and somehwo he gets stuck in a mall full of zombies in a small town in America. The guy's name is Frank and even though you can take pictures with his camera don't have to use that to fight zombies. Because you're in a mall you can just about anything you can find you can use to fight zombies. So that means you can use dummies they use to model clothes, guns, skateboards, golf clubs, man just about everything you can think of. There are even chainsaws and ninja swords! Plus you can change Frank's clothes but be careful because you might accidentally put him in woman's clothes and that's just not right! Poor Frank! "WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU?" haha! I never know a cross-dresser that wasn't gay but Frank isn't gay so don't dress him like a woman! haha! But I don't hate gays or anything, it's just that Frank is not gay so don't do that to him! haha! But I bet even gays would buy the Mighty Talon CD when it comes out and I always support my fans.
The goal of Dead Rising for the Xbox-360 is to kill every single zombie in the mall. There are also "BOSSES" you have to fight like a clown with chainsaws and "CITIZENS" you have to rescue like fat people and little kids. But if you don't want to rescute the "CITIZENS" you can just choose not to do that if you don't feel like it. It's like "Hey guys I'm sorry but I'm too busy to save you, but there are weapons around the mall why don't you use those?" They're just lazy! haha! If you want to kill all the zombies here's a Metal Steve secret. There is a car hidden in the parking area but you have to find it which is not easy to do! But if you have the car you can run over zombies. It's not really that realistic though because you car doesn't even really take any damage so it lookskind of fake. But killing all the zombies with the car is the easy way to go! I don't know if the makers of Dead Rising want you to know that secret but now you do, thanks to your friend Metal Steve! "LET'S TAKE DOWN THESE ZOMBIES TOGETHER, OK?" haha!
Dead Rising is one of the most violent games ever but since you kill zombies and not living people nobody really cares. The game can be played by little kids and unless they're wimps they wno't be scared. Well not really little kids but I'm talkign like 10 or 12 years old, they can probably play a game like this. Just don't be surprised if they wet their pants from being scared! haha! But just tell him "Hey man, this isn't real so don't be such a wimp!" Well, maybe kids should not play a game like Dead Rising unless they're brave. Ask the kids "ARE YOU BRAVE ENOUGH TO FIGHT ZOMBIES!" but if they don't say "Yes" then don't let them play the game. Adults will really like the game, though, and they should run to get a copy if they don't already own it. Even if they own it, though, they should play it again! haha!
Now you have read my METAL REVIEW of Dead Rising for the Xbox-360 and know why both Platinum Daniel and me like it so much. It is a violent game but since you just kill zombies it's not so bad. Maybe you shouldn't let kids play it but if they're kind of brave kids they will probabyl want to play it and it won't be a problem. Just don't be surprised if they pee their pants if they're not brave! haha! But zombies aren't living people so the violence isn't that bad! Now if you will excuse me I must get ready for band practice with my band Mighty Talon. We are trying otu a new song that I wrote today and hopefully Eric our drummer has been practicing. He's kind of been slacking off on his practicing lately and has been sloppy. He'd better watch out or Platinum Daniel and I will send Eric to a mall fullof zombies that want to eat his brains. "BRAINS! WE COME FOR BRAINS!" haha! Until next time this is Metal Steve bidding you a fond farewell. Remembe,r as Metal Steve says: "DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE ZOMBIES, BE MORE AFRAID OF DRESSING LIKE A LADY!" Later!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Metal Steve Reviews Pac-Man
Today I have a METAL REVIEW of one of the most popular games of all time. You've probably heard of it because it's called PAC-MAN. "CAN YOU GET THE POWER PELLETS?" haha! But before I start my METAL REVIEW of Pac-Man I wanted to let you know that Samantha is mad at me. She didn't like that I called her a whore last night even though I was joking! She told me I could sleep on the couch but really it was a joke! That's a Metal Steve promise. IT was technically April Fools Day because it was past midnight and we were drinking beer and watching TV. I said "Hey Samantha I heard you had an abortion from Eric! Why are you doing it with Eric you whore!" but before I could say "April Fools!" she walked out of the room and when I went after her she was like "Steve get away I hate you that's not true" and so I said "April Fools!" but she was like "Get away!" so I went to the other room. Today when she left for work I said "Sorry!" but she just walked out withotu saying Goodbye. Man, I guess she's mad! What a whore! haha! Just kidding! No really I'm just kidding! I don't think Samantha is a whore. haha! But if I seem kind of sad or weird in this METAL REVIEW of Pac-Man now you know why I am that way.
Back in the 1980s Pac-Man was a total culture trend. Everyone from old grannies to little school kids were like "Whoa, what is this game?" and they paid millions of dollars in quarters to play it. Well not everyone paid millions, I mean if you tallie it all up you'll find it was millions of dollars. haha! But did you know how Pac-Man got his name? That's a secret but leave it to your old pal Metal Steve to fill you in on the dteails here. OK, there was this guy in Japan who invented Pac-Man but he wanted to call it FAT-MAN because all the guy did is eat. He had to use kind of bad graphics because that was all that was possible at the time but he said "I know, I'll make him totally round because he's fat and he'll eat a bunch of food because he's fat!" But since the guy was from Japan he didn't speak English very well and when he said Fat-Man it sounded like Pac-Man! But nobody could understand him when he tried to explain it and he just gave up and said "Fine, call Fa-tMan Pac-Man if you wnat to" and that is what happened! So now we all know him as Pac-Man but really he's Fat-Man! I know you are blown away by this information I'm sure! haha! But it's all true and that's a Metal Steve promise.
You know why now that he is called Pac-Man but did you know why there are ghosts? It's because they are haunting him because he's so fat. Remember in Scrooge when the ghosts come to haunt him because he's so bad adn they're saying "You are going to die if you don't change your ways?" It's the same thing in Pac-Man only they're saying "We are going to make you die if you don't stop eating so much" but I guess they're kind of evil ghosts because they kill him anyway even if he stops eating! haha! But luckily Pac-Man has a secret weapon called a "POWER PELLET" that he can eat that lets him eat ghosts. The bad news is the ghost are indestructible so if he eats them their eyes which are not edibile fly back to their secret base and the ghosts come back, hungry for revenge. "LOOK OUT, PAC-MAN!" haha!
I saw a picture of the number one Pac-Man player in the world and thought he was METAL because he has long hair and a beard. His name is Billy but I can't remember his last name but that does'nt matter because he is NOT METAL I totally assure you. He might be good at Pac-Man but he makes hot sauce for a living and if he were METAL he woudl not have such a lame job. haha! I mean I might be an assistant manager to pay bills but I also am the top METAL guitar player in all of Fresno and possibly California, so unless Billy has an awesome band like Mighty Talon that I don't know about, he is NOT METAL. He is good at Pac-Man, though, so I have to give him respect for that and maybe I'd have a beer with him but I don't think we could be friends. haha! But congratulations on your score Billy!
You have now read my METAL REVIEW of Pac-Man which is one of the most popular games ever. I don't think it's quite as popular as Tetris and it's not as peaceful because Pac-Man "OR SHOULD I SAY FAT-MAN" and the ghosts try to get each other. haha! Pac-Man has kind of bad graphcis but I can't blame them because they didn't know any better and couldn't make anything better back then. Just remember if Gamepro or some other magazine tries to tell you that Pac-Man is actually supposed to be Fat-Man you heard it from Metal Steve's Game Riffs first! haha! If it wasn't for some guy ffrom Japan not being able to speak English then we'd all be calling him Fat-Man! haha! OK my faithful fans that is all for this time. Hopefully by next time Samantha will stop being mad at me and forgive me for calling her a whore! haha! This is Metal Steve signing off. Remember as Metal Steve says: "LAY OFF THE SNACKS OR YOU'LL GET HAUNTED BY EVIL GHOSTS!" Later!
Back in the 1980s Pac-Man was a total culture trend. Everyone from old grannies to little school kids were like "Whoa, what is this game?" and they paid millions of dollars in quarters to play it. Well not everyone paid millions, I mean if you tallie it all up you'll find it was millions of dollars. haha! But did you know how Pac-Man got his name? That's a secret but leave it to your old pal Metal Steve to fill you in on the dteails here. OK, there was this guy in Japan who invented Pac-Man but he wanted to call it FAT-MAN because all the guy did is eat. He had to use kind of bad graphics because that was all that was possible at the time but he said "I know, I'll make him totally round because he's fat and he'll eat a bunch of food because he's fat!" But since the guy was from Japan he didn't speak English very well and when he said Fat-Man it sounded like Pac-Man! But nobody could understand him when he tried to explain it and he just gave up and said "Fine, call Fa-tMan Pac-Man if you wnat to" and that is what happened! So now we all know him as Pac-Man but really he's Fat-Man! I know you are blown away by this information I'm sure! haha! But it's all true and that's a Metal Steve promise.
You know why now that he is called Pac-Man but did you know why there are ghosts? It's because they are haunting him because he's so fat. Remember in Scrooge when the ghosts come to haunt him because he's so bad adn they're saying "You are going to die if you don't change your ways?" It's the same thing in Pac-Man only they're saying "We are going to make you die if you don't stop eating so much" but I guess they're kind of evil ghosts because they kill him anyway even if he stops eating! haha! But luckily Pac-Man has a secret weapon called a "POWER PELLET" that he can eat that lets him eat ghosts. The bad news is the ghost are indestructible so if he eats them their eyes which are not edibile fly back to their secret base and the ghosts come back, hungry for revenge. "LOOK OUT, PAC-MAN!" haha!
I saw a picture of the number one Pac-Man player in the world and thought he was METAL because he has long hair and a beard. His name is Billy but I can't remember his last name but that does'nt matter because he is NOT METAL I totally assure you. He might be good at Pac-Man but he makes hot sauce for a living and if he were METAL he woudl not have such a lame job. haha! I mean I might be an assistant manager to pay bills but I also am the top METAL guitar player in all of Fresno and possibly California, so unless Billy has an awesome band like Mighty Talon that I don't know about, he is NOT METAL. He is good at Pac-Man, though, so I have to give him respect for that and maybe I'd have a beer with him but I don't think we could be friends. haha! But congratulations on your score Billy!
You have now read my METAL REVIEW of Pac-Man which is one of the most popular games ever. I don't think it's quite as popular as Tetris and it's not as peaceful because Pac-Man "OR SHOULD I SAY FAT-MAN" and the ghosts try to get each other. haha! Pac-Man has kind of bad graphcis but I can't blame them because they didn't know any better and couldn't make anything better back then. Just remember if Gamepro or some other magazine tries to tell you that Pac-Man is actually supposed to be Fat-Man you heard it from Metal Steve's Game Riffs first! haha! If it wasn't for some guy ffrom Japan not being able to speak English then we'd all be calling him Fat-Man! haha! OK my faithful fans that is all for this time. Hopefully by next time Samantha will stop being mad at me and forgive me for calling her a whore! haha! This is Metal Steve signing off. Remember as Metal Steve says: "LAY OFF THE SNACKS OR YOU'LL GET HAUNTED BY EVIL GHOSTS!" Later!
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