As you all know I play guitar in a band called Mighty Talon who plays METAL exclusively. We don't mix in anything else but instead it's pure METAL that rips everynoe else to shreds. One of my fans said "Hey Steve you should try out Rock Band" and I said "Hey why do I need to play that when I'm already in a METAL band?" haha! But I took him up on his offer and went to his apartment to play it but only because he said he'd have free beer there. He didn't warn me it'd be Coors though and I was not too impressed with it! haha! I thought that being in a METAL band myself I would be the perfect person to review Rock Band but I should have known better since it's called ROCK Band and not METAL Band that iw ouldn't be very good. So sit back and prepare yourself for my METAL REVIEW of Rock Band for the XBox-360. The game is also on the Playstation3 and here's a Metal Steve rumor for you. It's coming for the Nintendo Wii but Nintendo is keeping this a secret right now for some reason.
In Rock Band for the Xbox-360 you can play guitar, bass, microphone, or drums. I brought my drummer Eric with me to try out the drums while I figured I'd play guitar. When I picked up the guitar though I was like "What is this crap?" Instead of strings it's just 5 big buttons that you press instead. That's not a guitar it's a toy! haha! Eric told me the drums suck big time, too! He sat down and was like "Whoa Steve this crap doesn't even have a high hat or cymbals." Plus he was upset there was no double bass pedal so that he could perform his patented machinegun bass drumming while I performed my patented finger tapping over his machinegun bass drumming. What a gip! Plus everything feesl totally cheap like it was made for little kids or something.
We tried to have fun though but I'm sorry if you'r ein a METAL band and someone says "Here Steve play guitar with this toy" you can't have fun. And the songs you can play are all pretty lame. There's not that much METAL to choose from. Most of it is crap like Nirvana or all these other bands I haven't even heard of. I was like "Hey where's the Megadeth? Where's the Pantera?" Where's the Yngwie Malmsteen?" but the guy who invited us over was like "Oh sorry guys but there's Blue Oyster Cult." That is nto METAL people! Rock Band would be a thousand times better if it were METAL Band but they might as well call it POP BAND. haha!
There aren't even music notes or guitar tab on the screen or anything, either! When you play these colored lines come down the screen and you're supposed to press a button at the time they come down the screen. I kept failing the songs and so did Eric and the guy with Rock Band was like "I thought you guys were in a band" which pissed us off. I was like "This is not real music you moron!" and both Eric and I drank the rest of his Coors and left. But we cussed him otu pretty bad first and told him to have fun with his stupid toys. His neighbors got mad that we were making so much noise but get used to it people. Mighty Talon are the loudest METAL band on the planet. Remembe rin that movie Spinal Tap where they crank it up to 11 because it's louder than 10 which was the limit? Well Mighty Talon takes it up to 12! We're the loudest! haha!
So now you know why Rock Band is stupid and you shouldn't waste your time on it. If you're METAL like me it's an insult actually. There's no reason to play with those plastic toys unless you're a baby and can't play real instruments like me and my bandmates in Mighty Talon. They should just call it "Fake Band" haha! I hope the guys who made Rock Band are embarassed of themselves and stop wastinmg our time with these pointless games. Go play some real instruments guys! haha! That is all for now, my faithful fans. Until later this is Metal Steve signing off. Remember, as Metal Steve says, "YOU CAN'T FAKE THE REAL THING SO PUT AWAY THE TOYS AND BRING THE NOISE!" Later!
Monday, March 31, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Metal Steve Reviews Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword Part 2
Guys I'm so sorry about yesterday. It turns out I was an idiot and didn't realize that the game is supposed to be sideways! I was all upset about Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword being faulty and when Samantha got home from work I was like "Hey baby we need to hurry to Sears before they close so I can return this stupid broken game!" She told me to calm down and aso said that she wasn't going to take me because I was drunk and knew that when I get drunk I get crazy! haha! I like to party what can I say? It was Friday! haha! So anyway I showed her the game and she said "Hey Steve! Maybe you are supposed to play it like Brain Age?" You see, there is this game for the Nintendo DS called Brain Age that you use to get smarter and Samantha plays it all the time but I hate it because it's totally lame! haha! It's like "How is some game supposed to make me smarter it's not like it's a book or anyhting!" haha! So thanks to Samantha I now know how to play Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword for the Nintnedo DS. Prepare yourself for my METAL REVIEW my faithful fans. Hey who says women aren't good for anything? haha!
Before I get into my METAL REVIEW let me tell you a secret about this game. Ninja Gaiden used to be a Nintendo game on the Nintendo Entertainment System. There were three differeent Ninja Gaiden games but then the guys who made it decided they wanted to put their game on the most powerful system possible. At the time they decided to make a new one the most powerful system possible was the Xbox and that is the system they made a Ninja Gaiden for. Nintendo was totally pissed and said "Hey guys what gives?" but the Ninja Gaiden creators said "Sorry Nintendo but unless you make the most powerful or popular system ever we have to put Ninja Gaiden on another system." So that inspired Nintendo to create the Nintendo DS and make it the most powerfl system ever only Sony came in with the PSP which was way more powerful. So Nintendo had only one choice left, to make the Nintendo DS the most popular system ever and that is what they did. So they called the guys who made Ninja Gaiden and said "Hey look! The Nintendo DS is the most popular system ever so now will you make a Ninja Gaiden game for us?" and the creators fo Ninfa Gaiden said "Yes." So now you know how Nintendo got the creators of Ninja Gaiden to make Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sowrd for the Nintendo DS!
I told you before that you have to hold the Nintendo DS sideways to play the game but don't worry it's not some stupid brain training game! haha! But it's not like playing Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword will make you stupider either so dno't worry! haha! In Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword you play as a ninja with super powers. You can slash enemies with a sword or throw throwing stars at them or even body slam them if you're really good like me. You have to control every thing with the stylus but don't worry it's not that bad! haha! Actually it's pretty good and I was very impressed. I was like "Wow these guys know what they're doing don't they?" Controlling a ninja is pretty cool but the game tricks yo uat the beginning but don't be fooled. They make you play as some chick ninja and even though she's kind of good I was like this is crap because the box has an awesome looking ninja on it and where is he? Well don't worry my faithful fans because the creators of Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sowrd have heard your pleas and soon you will play as that awesome ninja so hang in there! haha!
The game is really good because you get to play as an awesome ninja and it also has really good graphics. I think the creators of Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword paid Nintendo extra to learn some secrets of how to maek good graphcis on the system because these are the best graphics the Nintendo DS has ever had. I think maybe they called Nintendo and said "Hey we'll give you money just tell us how to make good graphics!" and Nintendo was like whoa free money and told them! haha! But it was worth the extra price becasue these are the best graphics on the Nintendo DS ever. It's got some pretty good music too but it all sounds kind of Chinese or something and I think it needs more METAL! Like if you're an awesome ninja do you want some Chinese guy banging on a drum or would you rather have a metal band doing some kick-ass tunes? Mayabe in the next game the creators of Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword should get my band Mighty Talon to make the music for the game! Hey guys give me a call! haha!
So now you have read my METAL REVIEW on why Ninga Gaiden: Dragon Sword is the best graphics on the Nintendo DS and that you should totally buy it. I think you will not be disappointed. "DO YOU HAVE THE SKILL TO BE A MASTER NINJA?" If you don't care about the stupid Chinese music in the game and like awesome graphics I know you will like this game. Just don't freak out of you put the game in and it is sideways because that is how it is supposed to be, just turn your DS on its side and you are set! Maybe they should pute a note on the box or something though! haha! OK my faithful friends it is time for me to head out to band practice but until next time this is Metal Steve bidding you farewell. Remember as Metal Steve says: "GIVE THINGS A SECOND CHANCE AND MAYBE THEY WILL GET BETTER!" Later!
Before I get into my METAL REVIEW let me tell you a secret about this game. Ninja Gaiden used to be a Nintendo game on the Nintendo Entertainment System. There were three differeent Ninja Gaiden games but then the guys who made it decided they wanted to put their game on the most powerful system possible. At the time they decided to make a new one the most powerful system possible was the Xbox and that is the system they made a Ninja Gaiden for. Nintendo was totally pissed and said "Hey guys what gives?" but the Ninja Gaiden creators said "Sorry Nintendo but unless you make the most powerful or popular system ever we have to put Ninja Gaiden on another system." So that inspired Nintendo to create the Nintendo DS and make it the most powerfl system ever only Sony came in with the PSP which was way more powerful. So Nintendo had only one choice left, to make the Nintendo DS the most popular system ever and that is what they did. So they called the guys who made Ninja Gaiden and said "Hey look! The Nintendo DS is the most popular system ever so now will you make a Ninja Gaiden game for us?" and the creators fo Ninfa Gaiden said "Yes." So now you know how Nintendo got the creators of Ninja Gaiden to make Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sowrd for the Nintendo DS!
I told you before that you have to hold the Nintendo DS sideways to play the game but don't worry it's not some stupid brain training game! haha! But it's not like playing Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword will make you stupider either so dno't worry! haha! In Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword you play as a ninja with super powers. You can slash enemies with a sword or throw throwing stars at them or even body slam them if you're really good like me. You have to control every thing with the stylus but don't worry it's not that bad! haha! Actually it's pretty good and I was very impressed. I was like "Wow these guys know what they're doing don't they?" Controlling a ninja is pretty cool but the game tricks yo uat the beginning but don't be fooled. They make you play as some chick ninja and even though she's kind of good I was like this is crap because the box has an awesome looking ninja on it and where is he? Well don't worry my faithful fans because the creators of Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sowrd have heard your pleas and soon you will play as that awesome ninja so hang in there! haha!
The game is really good because you get to play as an awesome ninja and it also has really good graphics. I think the creators of Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword paid Nintendo extra to learn some secrets of how to maek good graphcis on the system because these are the best graphics the Nintendo DS has ever had. I think maybe they called Nintendo and said "Hey we'll give you money just tell us how to make good graphics!" and Nintendo was like whoa free money and told them! haha! But it was worth the extra price becasue these are the best graphics on the Nintendo DS ever. It's got some pretty good music too but it all sounds kind of Chinese or something and I think it needs more METAL! Like if you're an awesome ninja do you want some Chinese guy banging on a drum or would you rather have a metal band doing some kick-ass tunes? Mayabe in the next game the creators of Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword should get my band Mighty Talon to make the music for the game! Hey guys give me a call! haha!
So now you have read my METAL REVIEW on why Ninga Gaiden: Dragon Sword is the best graphics on the Nintendo DS and that you should totally buy it. I think you will not be disappointed. "DO YOU HAVE THE SKILL TO BE A MASTER NINJA?" If you don't care about the stupid Chinese music in the game and like awesome graphics I know you will like this game. Just don't freak out of you put the game in and it is sideways because that is how it is supposed to be, just turn your DS on its side and you are set! Maybe they should pute a note on the box or something though! haha! OK my faithful friends it is time for me to head out to band practice but until next time this is Metal Steve bidding you farewell. Remember as Metal Steve says: "GIVE THINGS A SECOND CHANCE AND MAYBE THEY WILL GET BETTER!" Later!
Friday, March 28, 2008
Metal Steve Reviews Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword
DO NOT BUY THIS! Warning! This is an official METAL STEVE BOYCOTT. There is something wrong with this game where it is sideways on the screen. Hpefully it's just my copy but I don't think so. I called the Sears where I bought it and the guy I talked to didn't know anything about it. I don't see how Nintnedo could let a broken game like this be released for their system. I'm going to return this to Sears when my girlfriend Samantha gets home because she has the car. But I think that there was a big mistake when they pressed copies of the game in the factory. Maybe someone hit a wrong button and it made the game go sideways on accident or something. Well thats' what you get for paying people minimum wage I guess! haha! I will update you tonight my faithful fans but I think this game is busted. Hopefully Sears has a copy that works but I am scared that all of them migh tbe broken. Until later this is Metal Steve signing off. Remember, as Metal Steve says, "DON'T GET RIPPED OFF BY SIDEWAYS GAMES!" Later!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Metal Steve Reviews MLB 08 The Show
This review is kind of different because it's not a game that I would normally play but instead a game someone gave me for free. Let me explain it to you so you can undersatand what I'm talking about. I don't want you to get confused! haha! Last week one of my fans sent me a message saying "Hey Steve I run a baseball web site called Gas Lamp Ball and I want you to review a game for us" and I was like "That's cool but I don't watch sports!" I'm too busy with practicing with my band Mighty Talon and partying with my girlfriend Samantha not to mention having to work to pay the bills to find time to watch sports. But I figure a game's a game, right? So I said "OK send it to me" and they sent me a copy of the game. It is called MLB 08 The Show and it is for the Playstation3. I'm so good at video games that I can master any game you put in front of me and I knew that I would be good enough to master MLB 08 The Show for Playstation3. So sit back my faithful friends and prepare yourself for my METAL REVIEW of MLB 08 The Show for Playstation3.
Now you might be saying to yourself "Steve doesn't even like sports! How can he play a basebaqll game for Playstation3?" Don't worry I won't fail you! Think of this like Superman where I go into a telephone booth and change into a different person. Only this time it's SUPER SPORTS STEVE instead of METAL STEVE. haha! Do you guys hear that phone ringing? That's me calling from the phone booth to say "Super Sports Steve will save the day!" haha! I have played MLB 08 The Show a lot now and I can safely say I have mastered the game. My girlfriend Samantha was mad last night because I was only playing the game and not partying with her but I said "Baby please. I need to play this for my METAL REVIEW. My fans sent me this game and are depending on me!" She was totally mad and wouldn't talk to me but guess who she still ended up in bed with? I guess maybe I do know about baseball because I hita bit homerun last night! haha!
Let me tell you a little bit about what MLB 08 The Show is all about. Maybe you are like me and don't watch sports. We should stick together! haha! OK. Baseball is all about hitting the most pitches and scoring the most points. The best wayt to score points is to hit a "homerun" when the pitcher throws the ball to you. That means you hit the ball so far that it goes over everyone's head and into the audience. If you hit it so far that it goes all the way over the audience it's called a "grand slam." If you hit the ball and it doesn't go over everyone's head but the other guys don't catch it, it's called a "single," a "double," or a "triple." How hard you hit the ball is the reason for which type of hit you get. There are different teams and each one has its own strengths and weaknesses. When you choose your team in the game the screen shows if they are a good team or not. I chose to play as the Los Angeles Dodgers because that was the only team I'd heard of! With the Dodgers I mastered the game so maybe they are the best baseball team. I know I know! It's complicated! haha! But that's baseball in a nutshell.
There are two main things you do in MLB 08 The Show. The first is to hit the ball. You press the X Button at the right time to hit it. If you are really good like me you might even get a homerun. And I don't mean a homerun with a lady even if I get that too! haha! No I mean a homerun where the ball goes over everyone's head. "CAN YOU GET A GRAND SLAM?" Only true masters like me score grand slams but if you keep practicing you can score one some day! Hang in there! haha! The other main thing you do in MLB 08 The Show is be the pitcher. Depending on which button you press you can throw different types of pitches. If you throw a good pitch it's called a "strike." If you throw a bad pitch it's called a "ball." The goal is to get three strikes and score an "out" on the other team. I know I know I'm getting carried away with the rules, but knowing them is important if you wan tto master MLB 08 The Show for Playstation3. If you don't master the rules you might as well not play the game at all!
The graphics in MLB 08 The Show are really good but for some reason these announcers keep talking the whole time and telling you everything that's happening in the game even though you can see it for yourself. Maybe that's for people who are blind or need glasses or something! haha! Why do I need an announcer to tell me I got a strike when I can see it on the screen? It doesn't make sense. But maybe that's what baseball fans like to hear because it makes them feel good. If the guy says "He pitched a strike" maybe people say "You're right I did! I'm awesome!" haha! The players all look pretty real, like real people running on the screen. When Samantha came into the room one time to yell at me she thought I was just watching baseball on TV. Tha's how good they look! But she was pretty drunk too because she likes to party. But when she gets drunk that's when I get to make a "homerun" if you know what I mean! haha!
So even though I don't like sports I was still able to master MLB 08 The Show for Playstation3 and provide you with my METAL REVIEW. If you take the time to figure out the rules for baseball you'll probably enjoy the game even if you are like me and don't watch sports or even know the rules! It has good graphics and sometimes even looks real, especially if you're drunk or something! haha! It was very nice of a fan to send me this game for review and that makes me think that if any other fans have games they should send them to me and I will review them! But mayb enot sports games because I really don't like sports even if I have the talent needed to master sports games. Maybe game companies can send me a copy of games that haven't come out and I can tell the world about them. I could be like "Hey guys! Super Mario Galaxy 2 is really amazing!" How awesome would that be? OK my faithful fans, until next time this is Metal Steve signing off. Remember, as Metal Steve says: "HITTING HOMERUNS IS FUN IN BOTH BASEBALL AND REAL LIFE!" Later!
Now you might be saying to yourself "Steve doesn't even like sports! How can he play a basebaqll game for Playstation3?" Don't worry I won't fail you! Think of this like Superman where I go into a telephone booth and change into a different person. Only this time it's SUPER SPORTS STEVE instead of METAL STEVE. haha! Do you guys hear that phone ringing? That's me calling from the phone booth to say "Super Sports Steve will save the day!" haha! I have played MLB 08 The Show a lot now and I can safely say I have mastered the game. My girlfriend Samantha was mad last night because I was only playing the game and not partying with her but I said "Baby please. I need to play this for my METAL REVIEW. My fans sent me this game and are depending on me!" She was totally mad and wouldn't talk to me but guess who she still ended up in bed with? I guess maybe I do know about baseball because I hita bit homerun last night! haha!
Let me tell you a little bit about what MLB 08 The Show is all about. Maybe you are like me and don't watch sports. We should stick together! haha! OK. Baseball is all about hitting the most pitches and scoring the most points. The best wayt to score points is to hit a "homerun" when the pitcher throws the ball to you. That means you hit the ball so far that it goes over everyone's head and into the audience. If you hit it so far that it goes all the way over the audience it's called a "grand slam." If you hit the ball and it doesn't go over everyone's head but the other guys don't catch it, it's called a "single," a "double," or a "triple." How hard you hit the ball is the reason for which type of hit you get. There are different teams and each one has its own strengths and weaknesses. When you choose your team in the game the screen shows if they are a good team or not. I chose to play as the Los Angeles Dodgers because that was the only team I'd heard of! With the Dodgers I mastered the game so maybe they are the best baseball team. I know I know! It's complicated! haha! But that's baseball in a nutshell.
There are two main things you do in MLB 08 The Show. The first is to hit the ball. You press the X Button at the right time to hit it. If you are really good like me you might even get a homerun. And I don't mean a homerun with a lady even if I get that too! haha! No I mean a homerun where the ball goes over everyone's head. "CAN YOU GET A GRAND SLAM?" Only true masters like me score grand slams but if you keep practicing you can score one some day! Hang in there! haha! The other main thing you do in MLB 08 The Show is be the pitcher. Depending on which button you press you can throw different types of pitches. If you throw a good pitch it's called a "strike." If you throw a bad pitch it's called a "ball." The goal is to get three strikes and score an "out" on the other team. I know I know I'm getting carried away with the rules, but knowing them is important if you wan tto master MLB 08 The Show for Playstation3. If you don't master the rules you might as well not play the game at all!
The graphics in MLB 08 The Show are really good but for some reason these announcers keep talking the whole time and telling you everything that's happening in the game even though you can see it for yourself. Maybe that's for people who are blind or need glasses or something! haha! Why do I need an announcer to tell me I got a strike when I can see it on the screen? It doesn't make sense. But maybe that's what baseball fans like to hear because it makes them feel good. If the guy says "He pitched a strike" maybe people say "You're right I did! I'm awesome!" haha! The players all look pretty real, like real people running on the screen. When Samantha came into the room one time to yell at me she thought I was just watching baseball on TV. Tha's how good they look! But she was pretty drunk too because she likes to party. But when she gets drunk that's when I get to make a "homerun" if you know what I mean! haha!
So even though I don't like sports I was still able to master MLB 08 The Show for Playstation3 and provide you with my METAL REVIEW. If you take the time to figure out the rules for baseball you'll probably enjoy the game even if you are like me and don't watch sports or even know the rules! It has good graphics and sometimes even looks real, especially if you're drunk or something! haha! It was very nice of a fan to send me this game for review and that makes me think that if any other fans have games they should send them to me and I will review them! But mayb enot sports games because I really don't like sports even if I have the talent needed to master sports games. Maybe game companies can send me a copy of games that haven't come out and I can tell the world about them. I could be like "Hey guys! Super Mario Galaxy 2 is really amazing!" How awesome would that be? OK my faithful fans, until next time this is Metal Steve signing off. Remember, as Metal Steve says: "HITTING HOMERUNS IS FUN IN BOTH BASEBALL AND REAL LIFE!" Later!
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Metal Steve Reviews Tetris
Today I thought I would bring with me a METAL REVIEW of a game that everyone has probably played. No, not Pac Man! No, not Grand Theft Auto! haha! The game I'm talking about that everyone has probably played is called Tetris. Even old people and little kids have played Tetris. But did you know the secret history of how Tetris was made? You might think "Hey Steve what are you talking about here?" but I bet you didn'tk now that it was made in the U.S.S.R. back in the 1980s! I know all the trivia! haha! Read my METAL REVIEW my faithful fans, and you will be blown away by this amazing game!
I promised you that I'd tell you the secret history of Tetris and that is what I'm going to do. Are you ready? "CAN YOU HANDLE THE TRUTH?" LIke I said before the game was made in the U.S.S.R. We might be friends with Russia now but did you know there was a time when Russia was our enemy? That is whey they were called U.S.S.R. The leader of Russia was at war with the United States and they built lots of weapons to get the United States if we ever attacked. We built lots of weapons too, including "nuclear bombs" that could wipe out the entire planet! It was a scary time! It's a good thing I can't remember much of it thanks to all the beer I was drinking! haha!
Let me move on with my tale. OK there was one guy in Russia who wasn't our enemy. I can't remember his name, but I think it was Vladamir or Andre. Soemthing like that. I don't know because I don't speak Russian! haha! But he cared about peace and instead of building weapons, he made a peaceful game called Tetris. But Tetris was stuck behind "THE IRON CURTAIN" until Nintendo stepped in and told the guy "Whoa! This game is awesome! We want to put this on our new system called The Gameboy." The guy probably sent a demo to Nintendo or something. Maybe he was like "Hey guys, I made this game you might like. Please get me out of the U.S.S.R. because it sucks so bad here!" haha So the maker of Tetris agreed to sell his game to Nintendo and the rest is history.
Everyone in the world knows how to play Tetris but I will tell you just in case you are that one person who hasn't played the game. But if that is true then why are you reading Metal Steve's Game Riffs? This place is for hard core games only! Get out of here! haha! No don't worry I'm just kidding. I'm glad you are here but you should play Tetris! Tetris is a simple game that is hard to master. You have to move falling blocks and form lines. If you make 4 lines at once you get a lot of points because you just made a "TETRIS." I don't know what the word Tetris means because I don't speak Russian but I think it means PUZZLE in Russian. That is my guess. Don't look at me if I'm wrong though. No guarantees! The only Metal Steve guarantee here is that the game is awesome and you will like it so you should play it!
Tetris is the world's most popular game and is the number one game in Russia. Now that you have read my METAL REVIEW you know why Tetris is so special. It is becasue one man care dabout peace so much that Tetris was made and is so special. And Nintendo were nice enough to step in and say "Hey this game is awesome let's put it on The Gameboy!" and saved the maker of Tetris from a horrible life in the U.S.S.R. There have been thousands of versions of Tetris and there will be thousands more and I'm okay with that because the game is so awesome! That is all for this time, so this is Metal Steve bidding you a fond arewell. Remember as Metal Steve says, "BLOCKS NOT BOMBS ARE THE WAY TO PEACE!" Later!
I promised you that I'd tell you the secret history of Tetris and that is what I'm going to do. Are you ready? "CAN YOU HANDLE THE TRUTH?" LIke I said before the game was made in the U.S.S.R. We might be friends with Russia now but did you know there was a time when Russia was our enemy? That is whey they were called U.S.S.R. The leader of Russia was at war with the United States and they built lots of weapons to get the United States if we ever attacked. We built lots of weapons too, including "nuclear bombs" that could wipe out the entire planet! It was a scary time! It's a good thing I can't remember much of it thanks to all the beer I was drinking! haha!
Let me move on with my tale. OK there was one guy in Russia who wasn't our enemy. I can't remember his name, but I think it was Vladamir or Andre. Soemthing like that. I don't know because I don't speak Russian! haha! But he cared about peace and instead of building weapons, he made a peaceful game called Tetris. But Tetris was stuck behind "THE IRON CURTAIN" until Nintendo stepped in and told the guy "Whoa! This game is awesome! We want to put this on our new system called The Gameboy." The guy probably sent a demo to Nintendo or something. Maybe he was like "Hey guys, I made this game you might like. Please get me out of the U.S.S.R. because it sucks so bad here!" haha So the maker of Tetris agreed to sell his game to Nintendo and the rest is history.
Everyone in the world knows how to play Tetris but I will tell you just in case you are that one person who hasn't played the game. But if that is true then why are you reading Metal Steve's Game Riffs? This place is for hard core games only! Get out of here! haha! No don't worry I'm just kidding. I'm glad you are here but you should play Tetris! Tetris is a simple game that is hard to master. You have to move falling blocks and form lines. If you make 4 lines at once you get a lot of points because you just made a "TETRIS." I don't know what the word Tetris means because I don't speak Russian but I think it means PUZZLE in Russian. That is my guess. Don't look at me if I'm wrong though. No guarantees! The only Metal Steve guarantee here is that the game is awesome and you will like it so you should play it!
Tetris is the world's most popular game and is the number one game in Russia. Now that you have read my METAL REVIEW you know why Tetris is so special. It is becasue one man care dabout peace so much that Tetris was made and is so special. And Nintendo were nice enough to step in and say "Hey this game is awesome let's put it on The Gameboy!" and saved the maker of Tetris from a horrible life in the U.S.S.R. There have been thousands of versions of Tetris and there will be thousands more and I'm okay with that because the game is so awesome! That is all for this time, so this is Metal Steve bidding you a fond arewell. Remember as Metal Steve says, "BLOCKS NOT BOMBS ARE THE WAY TO PEACE!" Later!
Monday, March 24, 2008
Metal Steve Reviews Geometry Wars Galaxies
Hey everyone! It's time for another METAL REVIEW and here to give you the goods is yours truly, Metal Steve! Today I want to tell you about an absoultely incredible game that you may not have heard of before. It is called Geometry Wars Galaxies for the Nintendo Wii. But before I tell you about the game I thought I'd update you about Eric, the drummer for my band Mighty Talon. If you remember last time I told you about how Eric forgot how to drum and was in danger of being kicked out of Mighty Talon unless he remembered how to drum. I went into practice the next day and said "Hey Eric, what's wrong? Did your hymen break yet?" haha! Eric got so angry that he started pounding on his drums in anger but it made him remember how to drum! He was like, "Thanks Steve! Now I won't be kicked out of Mighty Talon!" I thought you would all appreciate that story if you like happy endings. Plus, I'm not mad any longer! haha!
OK let's get down to business. Geometry Wars was originally a game for the Xbox-360 but Nintendo stole it and put it on the Nintendo Wii. They called the company that makes Geometry Wars and said "How about putting it on our system? You can even sell it on a disc!" This was what made the guys who make Geometry Wars make a game for the Nintendo Wii. Microsoft made them put it out on the Internet only, so people had to download it. But on the Nintendo Wii they could put it on a disc and sell it in stores, which means more money. Everyone likes money! haha! So they made a new game called Geometry Wars Galaxies for the NIntendo Wii and the rest is history.
Now that you know why it's on the Nintendo Wii and not the Xbox-360, we can talk about if the game is even any good or not. "WAS IT WORTH THE WAIT?" Yes it was! You probably would think the game is sucky if you saw the graphics because it looks like Asteroids or something. But let me tell you something. This game uses all of the power of the Nintendo Wii. You might say "Hey Steve, it's just a bunch of lines!" but you're wrong. Lik ethe name implies Geometry Wars Galaxies uses geometry to run the game. But don't think it's like the geometry class you took in high school. Hey, I failed that class too! haha! But it doesn't matte rif you are good at math or not. It's just geometry that the game makers used to build the game. But it's super difficult geometry that even the top math expert couldn't do! If the top math expert saw the game being made they'd probably be like "Whoa even I can't do that!" haha! But lucky for us the Nintendo Wii can do math so well that it can run Geometry Wars Galaxies.
I said Geometry Wars Galaxies kind of looks like Asteroids and that's pretty much the type of game this is. You control a ship and just blast all kinds of bad guys and try to get the top score. The game is called Geometry Wars Galaxies because you travel through the galaxy and blast all kinds of differnet enemies in each galaxy. Every galaxy has different music and colors, so you never get bored. Can you get the top score? Here's a Metal Steve tip. I kind of don't want to tell you because I don't want you to beat my score, but I'm a nice guy what can I say? haha! Are you ready? Here it is. Go get a classic controller for the Nintendo Wii. It's easier to control your ship and blast enemies that way. But don't go beating my score becuase I'll be mad at you! haha! No I'm just kidding. Go ahead and see if you have what it takes to beat the mighty METAL STEVE. No pretenders to the throne will be spared! haha!
I hope you enjoyed reading my METAL REVIEW of Geometry Wars Galaxies for the Nintendo Wii. Before reading my review you might have said "What game is that?" but now I hope you go out and buy it. But just don't expect to beat my score unless you've got what it takes. Did I mention that you can up load your scores via the Nintendo WiFi connection and see how you compete with the players from across the world? That is a really awesome feature but you have to have wireless internet in your home. Since I'm a tech guru you can bet that I have that! haha! Maybe you can up load yours core and see if you can compete with METAL STEVE. Just don't go crying to your mom if you find out I've crushed your best score! haha! OK my faithful fans, until next time this is Metal Steve saying farewell. As Metal Steve says, "EVEN IF YOU HATE MATH SOMETIMES IT CAN BE USED FOR GOOD." Later!
OK let's get down to business. Geometry Wars was originally a game for the Xbox-360 but Nintendo stole it and put it on the Nintendo Wii. They called the company that makes Geometry Wars and said "How about putting it on our system? You can even sell it on a disc!" This was what made the guys who make Geometry Wars make a game for the Nintendo Wii. Microsoft made them put it out on the Internet only, so people had to download it. But on the Nintendo Wii they could put it on a disc and sell it in stores, which means more money. Everyone likes money! haha! So they made a new game called Geometry Wars Galaxies for the NIntendo Wii and the rest is history.
Now that you know why it's on the Nintendo Wii and not the Xbox-360, we can talk about if the game is even any good or not. "WAS IT WORTH THE WAIT?" Yes it was! You probably would think the game is sucky if you saw the graphics because it looks like Asteroids or something. But let me tell you something. This game uses all of the power of the Nintendo Wii. You might say "Hey Steve, it's just a bunch of lines!" but you're wrong. Lik ethe name implies Geometry Wars Galaxies uses geometry to run the game. But don't think it's like the geometry class you took in high school. Hey, I failed that class too! haha! But it doesn't matte rif you are good at math or not. It's just geometry that the game makers used to build the game. But it's super difficult geometry that even the top math expert couldn't do! If the top math expert saw the game being made they'd probably be like "Whoa even I can't do that!" haha! But lucky for us the Nintendo Wii can do math so well that it can run Geometry Wars Galaxies.
I said Geometry Wars Galaxies kind of looks like Asteroids and that's pretty much the type of game this is. You control a ship and just blast all kinds of bad guys and try to get the top score. The game is called Geometry Wars Galaxies because you travel through the galaxy and blast all kinds of differnet enemies in each galaxy. Every galaxy has different music and colors, so you never get bored. Can you get the top score? Here's a Metal Steve tip. I kind of don't want to tell you because I don't want you to beat my score, but I'm a nice guy what can I say? haha! Are you ready? Here it is. Go get a classic controller for the Nintendo Wii. It's easier to control your ship and blast enemies that way. But don't go beating my score becuase I'll be mad at you! haha! No I'm just kidding. Go ahead and see if you have what it takes to beat the mighty METAL STEVE. No pretenders to the throne will be spared! haha!
I hope you enjoyed reading my METAL REVIEW of Geometry Wars Galaxies for the Nintendo Wii. Before reading my review you might have said "What game is that?" but now I hope you go out and buy it. But just don't expect to beat my score unless you've got what it takes. Did I mention that you can up load your scores via the Nintendo WiFi connection and see how you compete with the players from across the world? That is a really awesome feature but you have to have wireless internet in your home. Since I'm a tech guru you can bet that I have that! haha! Maybe you can up load yours core and see if you can compete with METAL STEVE. Just don't go crying to your mom if you find out I've crushed your best score! haha! OK my faithful fans, until next time this is Metal Steve saying farewell. As Metal Steve says, "EVEN IF YOU HATE MATH SOMETIMES IT CAN BE USED FOR GOOD." Later!
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Metal Steve Reviews Bonk's Adventure
Before I start telling you about Bonk's Adventure I have to get something out of the way. I'm in a really bad mood today and I don't want you to think it's your fault. It would suck if you were reading this and were saying "Whoa Steve. Waht's wrong? Why are you so mad at me? I'm just reading your METAL REVIEW of Bonk's Adventuer, I didn't do anything wrong!" haha! No my loyal fans, do not worry. I'm not mad at you. It's my stupid drummer Eric. Somehow Eric forgot how to play drums. It's so weird. At our band practice tonight Eric suddenly was playing like he was special ed or something. I'm sorry that wasn't so "PC" but that's how he sounded! haha! I was like "Hey Eric! What's happening!" but he told me "Steve I don't know what's wrong I can't play!" I told Eric he needs to shape up or he's out of Mighty Talon. I don't accept anything but the very best. That's why my reviews are the way they are. I expect the very best and give the very best as well! That's a Mighty Steve promise. When you read my reviews yo can bet that they are the best there are to offer. I put my word on it, and nothing is more sacred than that. Now let's get onto the review of Bonk's Adventure! Without further delay my fans, here is my METAL REVIEW of Bonk's Adventure for the Turbo-grafx 16!
Sega has Sonic the Hedgehog and Nintendo has Mario. YOu heard of the Sega Genesis and the Super Nintendo Entertainment System, but did you know there was a third system back then that also had a mascot? That system was the Turbo-grafx 16 from a company called NEC. I'm not sure what NEC stands for because it's something in Japanese and I don't speak Japanese, but they tried to bring out a system to compete with Sega and Nintendo. Too bad for NEC their system was a complete failure and they went out of business because they got crushed by Sega and Nintendo. The Turbo-grafx 16 was supposed to have the most powerful graphics available here's a secret nobody knows about. It didn't because it wasn't a real 16-bit system like the Sega Genesis and "SNES." But even though the Turbo-grafx 16 was an imposter in t he system wars it did bring out a mascot that was popular despite the system being a failure. That character was named Bonk. He was a caveman who used his head to smash dinosaurs that stood in his way!
So now that I've given you the history of the Turbo-grafx 16, let's move on and talk about Bonk's Adventure. Bonk's Adventure for Turbo-grafx 16 is a pretty good game, but it failed against Super Mario World and Sonic the Hedgehog. But being a true gamer I must point out that I still played it and enjoyed it. I mastered the game and finished it too many times to count, so you can even call me the "BONK'S ADVENTURE EXPERT." What you did in Bonk's Adventure is go through pre-historic levels and use your head to headbutt enemies. All the enemies are dinosaurs although some of them look like men so maybe they were cavemen too! haha!
The graphics and sound in Bonk's Adventure are pretty good, but compared to Super Mario World and Sonic the Hedgehog they were not as good. You can't compete with 16-bits of power when you don't have that much. Remember that I explained already how bits are like horsepower. Bonk's Adventure is like a junky old car racing against a Ferrari. You just can't win! And don't worry, I know a thing or two about cars. There's no way a Ferrari can lose against a junky old car, and that is how Bonk's Adventure was. It might have been fun to drive, but if you can drive a Ferrari as well why bother? haha!
Now you might be saying "Hey Steve, why did you bother playing Bonk's Adventure if Sonic the Hedgehog and Super Mario World are better?" Good question! It's because I play everything. I think it's my duty to play a lot of games so I can report my reviews to my fans and friends. It's like those guys that review movies. "METAL STEVE GIVES THIS GAME TWO THUMBS DOWN!" haha! Only Bonk's Adventure isn't that bad. It's more like one thumb up and one to the side. It's good but not great. It has a good graphics and music, but it can't compete with the superior Super Mario World and Sonic the Hegehog.
Now you know why Bonk's Adventure was not as good as the others. It's still a good game. You should try it out of if you have a chance but don't expect it to be as good as Super Mario World or Sonic the Hedgehog. You might like it more if you're really into cavemen and dinosuars or something, even if that's kind of weird! haha! Let me give you a final Metal Steve tip. The Turbo-grafx 16 was called Turbo because the cotnrollers had "turbo switches" that you can turn on and off. If you turn it on in Bonk's Adventure he spins really fast making him invincible. I don't think the makers of the game want that secret to be out but they went out of business so it's not like they can sue me now! haha!
So now you have heard my METAL REVIEW of Bonk's Adventure for Turbo-grafx 16. It's a good game but it's not going to satisfy people who have played Super Mario World or Sonic the Hedgehog, but it's still pretty good. You should try it out if you have a chance but don't go out of your way or antyhing! it's not really worth it! haha! I hope you didn't think I was mad at you during this review either. It's not your fault! It's Eric's for forgetting how to drum. Whatan idiot! haha! OK my faithful fans, until next time this is Metal Steve signing off. As Metal Steve says, "YOU CAN'T COMPETE WITH A FERRARI SO DON'T BOTHER!" Later!
Sega has Sonic the Hedgehog and Nintendo has Mario. YOu heard of the Sega Genesis and the Super Nintendo Entertainment System, but did you know there was a third system back then that also had a mascot? That system was the Turbo-grafx 16 from a company called NEC. I'm not sure what NEC stands for because it's something in Japanese and I don't speak Japanese, but they tried to bring out a system to compete with Sega and Nintendo. Too bad for NEC their system was a complete failure and they went out of business because they got crushed by Sega and Nintendo. The Turbo-grafx 16 was supposed to have the most powerful graphics available here's a secret nobody knows about. It didn't because it wasn't a real 16-bit system like the Sega Genesis and "SNES." But even though the Turbo-grafx 16 was an imposter in t he system wars it did bring out a mascot that was popular despite the system being a failure. That character was named Bonk. He was a caveman who used his head to smash dinosaurs that stood in his way!
So now that I've given you the history of the Turbo-grafx 16, let's move on and talk about Bonk's Adventure. Bonk's Adventure for Turbo-grafx 16 is a pretty good game, but it failed against Super Mario World and Sonic the Hedgehog. But being a true gamer I must point out that I still played it and enjoyed it. I mastered the game and finished it too many times to count, so you can even call me the "BONK'S ADVENTURE EXPERT." What you did in Bonk's Adventure is go through pre-historic levels and use your head to headbutt enemies. All the enemies are dinosaurs although some of them look like men so maybe they were cavemen too! haha!
The graphics and sound in Bonk's Adventure are pretty good, but compared to Super Mario World and Sonic the Hedgehog they were not as good. You can't compete with 16-bits of power when you don't have that much. Remember that I explained already how bits are like horsepower. Bonk's Adventure is like a junky old car racing against a Ferrari. You just can't win! And don't worry, I know a thing or two about cars. There's no way a Ferrari can lose against a junky old car, and that is how Bonk's Adventure was. It might have been fun to drive, but if you can drive a Ferrari as well why bother? haha!
Now you might be saying "Hey Steve, why did you bother playing Bonk's Adventure if Sonic the Hedgehog and Super Mario World are better?" Good question! It's because I play everything. I think it's my duty to play a lot of games so I can report my reviews to my fans and friends. It's like those guys that review movies. "METAL STEVE GIVES THIS GAME TWO THUMBS DOWN!" haha! Only Bonk's Adventure isn't that bad. It's more like one thumb up and one to the side. It's good but not great. It has a good graphics and music, but it can't compete with the superior Super Mario World and Sonic the Hegehog.
Now you know why Bonk's Adventure was not as good as the others. It's still a good game. You should try it out of if you have a chance but don't expect it to be as good as Super Mario World or Sonic the Hedgehog. You might like it more if you're really into cavemen and dinosuars or something, even if that's kind of weird! haha! Let me give you a final Metal Steve tip. The Turbo-grafx 16 was called Turbo because the cotnrollers had "turbo switches" that you can turn on and off. If you turn it on in Bonk's Adventure he spins really fast making him invincible. I don't think the makers of the game want that secret to be out but they went out of business so it's not like they can sue me now! haha!
So now you have heard my METAL REVIEW of Bonk's Adventure for Turbo-grafx 16. It's a good game but it's not going to satisfy people who have played Super Mario World or Sonic the Hedgehog, but it's still pretty good. You should try it out if you have a chance but don't go out of your way or antyhing! it's not really worth it! haha! I hope you didn't think I was mad at you during this review either. It's not your fault! It's Eric's for forgetting how to drum. Whatan idiot! haha! OK my faithful fans, until next time this is Metal Steve signing off. As Metal Steve says, "YOU CAN'T COMPETE WITH A FERRARI SO DON'T BOTHER!" Later!
Friday, March 21, 2008
Metal Steve Reviews Super Smash Bros. Brawl
Yesterday you all read my METAL REVIEW of Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games. You might have said "How can the world handle more than one cross over between Nintendo and Sega!" but get ready to have your mind blown because there is yet another game for the Nintendo Wii that features Super Mario and Sonic the Hedgehog together. That game is called Super Smash Bros. Brawl and it has quickly become the number 1 game ever to be released on the Nintendo Wii. It might even be the number 1 game in history soon. So sit back and relax, because I'm proud to present you with my METAL REVIEW of Super Smash Bros. Brawl for the Nintendo Wii. Like the announcre says in After Burner when your jet is leaving the air craft carrier: "GET READY!" haha!
Let me first give you a history lesson about Super Smash Bros. Brawl. This is not the first or even second game that has come out called Super Smash Bros. It is the third one with the other two being for the Nintendo 64 and the Nintendo Gamecube. A lot of people might say "Hold on! Do I need to play those other ones first because I haven't!" Dont worry! You can play Super Smash Bros. Brawl without ever having play the original two games so there is no problem for both old timers like me and new players that have never held the controller before! But us old timers will probably jsut beat the new players. Sorry that's just the way it goes! haha!
Now don't get confused if you buy the game and Sonic the Hedgehog is not available to select for fighting. See, you have to unlock him in the game. Game companies put secrets into games that us hard core gamers call "unlockables." But maybe Nintendo is still fighting with Sega and that is why Sonic the Hedgehog has to be unlocked. haha! Here's a Metal Steve game tip. The fastest way to unlock Sonic the Hedgehog is by clearing the "Classic Mode" 10 times with 10 different characters. But that's a secret and I don't know if Nintendo wants anyone to know about that! So we'll just keep that betwee you and me. Dont' tell! haha! I don't want to get in trouble for spilling all of Nintendo's deep dark secrets.
Now that you know how to unlock Sonic the Hedgehog I can move on. Let's talk about what this game is exactly. Super Smash Bros. Brawl is a fighting game where every single Nintendo character ever created fights in all the Nintendo games ever created. Well almost all of them. Nintendo might have forgot to put some in. Like I said "Hey where's Duck Hunt!" but that's OK because they need to keep something for the next Super Smash Bros. game! haha! Four peole can play at once and to beat the game you have to win the battles by being the best fighter., or "The Last Man STanding" to put it that way! "CAN YOU BEAT THE OTHERS?"
Nintendo knows that everybody likes to play games their own way, so they were nice enough to put not two or three but FOUR different ways to play. Yes you read that right. FOUR ways to play. You can hold the Wii controller three different ways or you can use a Gamecube controller. Dont' worry, though, because they all work well. I like to use a Gamecube controller because that's what work sfor me, but if that's not your thing that's cool! Some people hate the Gamecube and think it's for kids only but those people are idiots! haha!
You might think "Hey Steve, who else can I play as in this game"?" Well I'm glad you were kind enough to ask! You can play as pretty much every Nintendo character you can think of. There's Mario, Pikachu, Donkey Kong, and even some weird ones you might not know about like the dude from Pikmin and the "guy" from Metroid. I put "guy" in quotations because that "He" is really a "She" which is something a lot of people don't know. And here's another Metal Steve secret. You can even play as Solid Snake from the Metal Gear games. But like Sonic the Hedgehog you have to unlock Solid Snake. That's top secret info straight from me to you. And I should tell you the best way to unlock him. Just play the Metal Gear level over and over and soon Solid Snake will be unlocked. You were probably thinking "Why do they have this Metal Gear level in this game? That's crazy!" But now you know! haha. I also like Solid Snake because his game is called METAL GEAR and I love METAL!
I know, I know. I haven't talked about if the game is good or not. Well don't worry, my faithful fans. This game is totally amazing. It has the best graphics on the Nintendo Wii. It's like Nintendo said "Let's pull out all the stops!" and used every single bit availale on the Nintendo Wii. Remember I told you the Super Nintendo Entertainment System or "SNES" as hard core gamers call it was 16-bits? Well prepare to be blown away because the Wii has at least 10 times the amount of bits! That's a lot of horsepower. It might not be as powerful as the Playstaiton3 or Xbox-360 but after playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl you might even say "PLAYSTATION3 WHO?" haha! To summarize, Super Smash Bros. Brawl is a dream come true for people who like incredible fighting games.
So there you have it, another METAL REVIEW from your pal Metal Steve. I know you read my reviews because you want the best ther eis, without all the bull that other game reviews give you. I hope I delivered because I think I did! So until next time, this is Metal Steve sighing off on another geniune METAL REVIEW. Don't forget, as Metal Steve says: "ONLY THE TOP WARRIORS WILL BE STANDING AT THE END." Later!
Let me first give you a history lesson about Super Smash Bros. Brawl. This is not the first or even second game that has come out called Super Smash Bros. It is the third one with the other two being for the Nintendo 64 and the Nintendo Gamecube. A lot of people might say "Hold on! Do I need to play those other ones first because I haven't!" Dont worry! You can play Super Smash Bros. Brawl without ever having play the original two games so there is no problem for both old timers like me and new players that have never held the controller before! But us old timers will probably jsut beat the new players. Sorry that's just the way it goes! haha!
Now don't get confused if you buy the game and Sonic the Hedgehog is not available to select for fighting. See, you have to unlock him in the game. Game companies put secrets into games that us hard core gamers call "unlockables." But maybe Nintendo is still fighting with Sega and that is why Sonic the Hedgehog has to be unlocked. haha! Here's a Metal Steve game tip. The fastest way to unlock Sonic the Hedgehog is by clearing the "Classic Mode" 10 times with 10 different characters. But that's a secret and I don't know if Nintendo wants anyone to know about that! So we'll just keep that betwee you and me. Dont' tell! haha! I don't want to get in trouble for spilling all of Nintendo's deep dark secrets.
Now that you know how to unlock Sonic the Hedgehog I can move on. Let's talk about what this game is exactly. Super Smash Bros. Brawl is a fighting game where every single Nintendo character ever created fights in all the Nintendo games ever created. Well almost all of them. Nintendo might have forgot to put some in. Like I said "Hey where's Duck Hunt!" but that's OK because they need to keep something for the next Super Smash Bros. game! haha! Four peole can play at once and to beat the game you have to win the battles by being the best fighter., or "The Last Man STanding" to put it that way! "CAN YOU BEAT THE OTHERS?"
Nintendo knows that everybody likes to play games their own way, so they were nice enough to put not two or three but FOUR different ways to play. Yes you read that right. FOUR ways to play. You can hold the Wii controller three different ways or you can use a Gamecube controller. Dont' worry, though, because they all work well. I like to use a Gamecube controller because that's what work sfor me, but if that's not your thing that's cool! Some people hate the Gamecube and think it's for kids only but those people are idiots! haha!
You might think "Hey Steve, who else can I play as in this game"?" Well I'm glad you were kind enough to ask! You can play as pretty much every Nintendo character you can think of. There's Mario, Pikachu, Donkey Kong, and even some weird ones you might not know about like the dude from Pikmin and the "guy" from Metroid. I put "guy" in quotations because that "He" is really a "She" which is something a lot of people don't know. And here's another Metal Steve secret. You can even play as Solid Snake from the Metal Gear games. But like Sonic the Hedgehog you have to unlock Solid Snake. That's top secret info straight from me to you. And I should tell you the best way to unlock him. Just play the Metal Gear level over and over and soon Solid Snake will be unlocked. You were probably thinking "Why do they have this Metal Gear level in this game? That's crazy!" But now you know! haha. I also like Solid Snake because his game is called METAL GEAR and I love METAL!
I know, I know. I haven't talked about if the game is good or not. Well don't worry, my faithful fans. This game is totally amazing. It has the best graphics on the Nintendo Wii. It's like Nintendo said "Let's pull out all the stops!" and used every single bit availale on the Nintendo Wii. Remember I told you the Super Nintendo Entertainment System or "SNES" as hard core gamers call it was 16-bits? Well prepare to be blown away because the Wii has at least 10 times the amount of bits! That's a lot of horsepower. It might not be as powerful as the Playstaiton3 or Xbox-360 but after playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl you might even say "PLAYSTATION3 WHO?" haha! To summarize, Super Smash Bros. Brawl is a dream come true for people who like incredible fighting games.
So there you have it, another METAL REVIEW from your pal Metal Steve. I know you read my reviews because you want the best ther eis, without all the bull that other game reviews give you. I hope I delivered because I think I did! So until next time, this is Metal Steve sighing off on another geniune METAL REVIEW. Don't forget, as Metal Steve says: "ONLY THE TOP WARRIORS WILL BE STANDING AT THE END." Later!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Metal Steve Reviews Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games
After my reviews of Super Mario World for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System and Sonic the Hedgehog for the Sega Genesis you might be saying to yourself, "Wow! This guy only likes older games. I wonder if he even knows about the new games!" haha! But don't worry my faithful fans because Metal Steve is a real gamer and plays everything, even the new games that you may not have heard of befroe. My newest METAL REVIEW is about Sonic and Mario at the Olympic Games which is out on the Nintendo Wii. I can't admit that I really liked this game but keep reading and you will see why.
Let me first give some history on why this game was even made. Sony and Microsoft both have really powerful systems out called the Playstation3 and the Xbox-360 and Nintendo has a system called The Nintendo Wii that is not as powerful. So NIntendo knew they had to do something special. They called Sega and were like, "Hey guys, we need your help to take down the competition. You know what that means, it's time to team up with our two best characters and take down the competition!" So Sega and Nintendo formed a team and put Sonic the Hedgehog and Mario in the same game. They decided to make it an Olympics game because that is the most popular thing in the world and everyone loves the Olympics. They were like, "What can we do to make sure this is a game that can topple Playstation3 and Xbox-360? Set it at the Olympics!"
OK now that we have the history of the game ou tof the way, it is time to move onto my METAL REVIEW of the game. I don't really like the game because it is pretty much just swinging the controller really fast to get first in running races and swimming. It gets kind of tiring and my arms hurt. So I don't really like that. There was a game for the Nintendo Entertaniment System called "TRACK AND FIELD" that made you push the buttons really fast in order to win races, but that was more fun than swinging the controller back and forth. I know you're probably saying "Hey Steve you're just lazy" but I assure you that it's not just because it's tiring that I don't like it. It's because it's just not fun. And that's a Metal Steve promise, which is as good as gold!
My girlfriend Samantha likes Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games a lot and that is the one reason why I keep the game in my collection. I would trade it and get something more my style but no, my girlfriend likes it and plays it a lot. But that's OK because when she plays the gaem and shakes really fast I like watching her. "If you know what I mean!" wink! haha! She had a couple friends from work over and they played it and I was just sitting and drinking a beer while watching them and thinking to myself "Now I see why Nintendo and Sega made this game! Perverts!" haha! But hey, can you blame them? Samantha doesn't like to play games that much but when she plays Sonic and Mario at the Olympic Games I just sit back and thinking "AWESOME!"
So that is Metal Steve's METAL REVIEW of Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games. If you're a hard core gamer like me you probably will not like it but if you have a girlfriend she will probably like it and you will like watching her shake the controller. haha! So until next time, this is Metal Steve signing off. Remember. As Metal Steve says: "SOMETIMES IT'S MORE FUN TO WATCH THAN PLAY!" haha! Later!
Let me first give some history on why this game was even made. Sony and Microsoft both have really powerful systems out called the Playstation3 and the Xbox-360 and Nintendo has a system called The Nintendo Wii that is not as powerful. So NIntendo knew they had to do something special. They called Sega and were like, "Hey guys, we need your help to take down the competition. You know what that means, it's time to team up with our two best characters and take down the competition!" So Sega and Nintendo formed a team and put Sonic the Hedgehog and Mario in the same game. They decided to make it an Olympics game because that is the most popular thing in the world and everyone loves the Olympics. They were like, "What can we do to make sure this is a game that can topple Playstation3 and Xbox-360? Set it at the Olympics!"
OK now that we have the history of the game ou tof the way, it is time to move onto my METAL REVIEW of the game. I don't really like the game because it is pretty much just swinging the controller really fast to get first in running races and swimming. It gets kind of tiring and my arms hurt. So I don't really like that. There was a game for the Nintendo Entertaniment System called "TRACK AND FIELD" that made you push the buttons really fast in order to win races, but that was more fun than swinging the controller back and forth. I know you're probably saying "Hey Steve you're just lazy" but I assure you that it's not just because it's tiring that I don't like it. It's because it's just not fun. And that's a Metal Steve promise, which is as good as gold!
My girlfriend Samantha likes Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games a lot and that is the one reason why I keep the game in my collection. I would trade it and get something more my style but no, my girlfriend likes it and plays it a lot. But that's OK because when she plays the gaem and shakes really fast I like watching her. "If you know what I mean!" wink! haha! She had a couple friends from work over and they played it and I was just sitting and drinking a beer while watching them and thinking to myself "Now I see why Nintendo and Sega made this game! Perverts!" haha! But hey, can you blame them? Samantha doesn't like to play games that much but when she plays Sonic and Mario at the Olympic Games I just sit back and thinking "AWESOME!"
So that is Metal Steve's METAL REVIEW of Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games. If you're a hard core gamer like me you probably will not like it but if you have a girlfriend she will probably like it and you will like watching her shake the controller. haha! So until next time, this is Metal Steve signing off. Remember. As Metal Steve says: "SOMETIMES IT'S MORE FUN TO WATCH THAN PLAY!" haha! Later!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Metal Steve Reviews Super Mario World
Yesterday I wrote my METAL REVIEW of Sonic the Hedgehog for Sega Genesis. You might have been thinking to yourself "I guess Metal Steve is just a Sega Genesis fan." Wrong! haha! True gamers like myself stick to all systems, not just one so that is why today I am proud to presnet you with my METAL REVIEW of Super Mario World for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System. I'm going to call it the SNES, because that is what true gamers refer to it as, so don't get confused when I say SNES and think I'm speaking a different language or soemthing. It just stands for Super Nintendo Entertainment System.
Super Mario World is a really amazing game that used all 16 bits of the SNES. See, the SNES was known as a "16-bit" game machine. You can think of bits as sort of like horsepower in the car. Like maybe your car has 500 horsepower. Well the SNES had 16 bits of power which might not sound like a lot to you now but at the time it was totally incredible. Some game makers weren't that good and sometimes only used 8 or 10 bits, but the reason Super Mario World is so good is it used not 14, not 15, but all 16 bits the SNES had to offer! Real gamers like mysefl were totally blown away! haha!
The Super Mario games are made by the same guy who made Donkey Kong and every other Nintendo game ever made. I can't remember his name, but he's a genius! He must have told the people at Nintendo, "Hey guys the other company's might only use 10 bits, but we've got to use all 16. We have to go the extra mile for our fans." And that's what they did. Super Mario World is the best game on the SNES. Hands down!
You might be asking, why is the game so good? Well I'm glad you asked! haha! Super Mario World has really great graphics and has special features, like Mario has a cape that allos him to fly high into the air. You can also ride a monster named Yoshi who can eat enemies and spit them back out. As if that wasn't enough, there are a lot of levels and the game will take not hours, but weeks to beat. I spent all Summer playing it back when I was a kid. My mom said, "Hey Steve time for dinner!" and I was like "Not now Mom! I'm playing Super Mario World!" She had to bring my dinner to me on a tray to get my to eat it! haha!
Super Mario World is the reason Nintendo was albe to survive after Sega beat them with the Sega Genesis and Sonic the Hedgehog. If it weren't for Super Mario World Nintendo would have gone out of business and there would be no Nintendo today. So it's a good thing Super Mario World was so awesome or gamers would have missed out on any more Nintendo systems and games!
Well, I hope you all enjoyed my METAL REVIEW of Super Mario World for the SNES. I hope I didn't confuse any of you by calling it the SNES but that's what real gamers call it and I'm one of the top real gamers in the world! haha! So until next time, this is Metal Steve signing off. Remember, as Metal Steve says: "DINNER CAN WAIT BUT AWESOME GAMES WAIT FOR NOBODY!" Later!
Super Mario World is a really amazing game that used all 16 bits of the SNES. See, the SNES was known as a "16-bit" game machine. You can think of bits as sort of like horsepower in the car. Like maybe your car has 500 horsepower. Well the SNES had 16 bits of power which might not sound like a lot to you now but at the time it was totally incredible. Some game makers weren't that good and sometimes only used 8 or 10 bits, but the reason Super Mario World is so good is it used not 14, not 15, but all 16 bits the SNES had to offer! Real gamers like mysefl were totally blown away! haha!
The Super Mario games are made by the same guy who made Donkey Kong and every other Nintendo game ever made. I can't remember his name, but he's a genius! He must have told the people at Nintendo, "Hey guys the other company's might only use 10 bits, but we've got to use all 16. We have to go the extra mile for our fans." And that's what they did. Super Mario World is the best game on the SNES. Hands down!
You might be asking, why is the game so good? Well I'm glad you asked! haha! Super Mario World has really great graphics and has special features, like Mario has a cape that allos him to fly high into the air. You can also ride a monster named Yoshi who can eat enemies and spit them back out. As if that wasn't enough, there are a lot of levels and the game will take not hours, but weeks to beat. I spent all Summer playing it back when I was a kid. My mom said, "Hey Steve time for dinner!" and I was like "Not now Mom! I'm playing Super Mario World!" She had to bring my dinner to me on a tray to get my to eat it! haha!
Super Mario World is the reason Nintendo was albe to survive after Sega beat them with the Sega Genesis and Sonic the Hedgehog. If it weren't for Super Mario World Nintendo would have gone out of business and there would be no Nintendo today. So it's a good thing Super Mario World was so awesome or gamers would have missed out on any more Nintendo systems and games!
Well, I hope you all enjoyed my METAL REVIEW of Super Mario World for the SNES. I hope I didn't confuse any of you by calling it the SNES but that's what real gamers call it and I'm one of the top real gamers in the world! haha! So until next time, this is Metal Steve signing off. Remember, as Metal Steve says: "DINNER CAN WAIT BUT AWESOME GAMES WAIT FOR NOBODY!" Later!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Metal Steve Reviews Sonic the Hedgehog
Welcome to my review of the Sega Genesis classic Sonic the Hedgehog! I wanted to start my reviews off right with something awesome and I said to myself, "Hey Steve, what game would be perfect for the first review?" It didn't take long for me to realize the answer was crystal clear. Sonic the Hedgehog for Sega Genesis it is. So sit back and get ready for Metal Steve's METAL REVIEW of Sonic the Hedgehog!
Sonic the Hedgehog came out when I was still just a kid. The story goes like this. At the time when Sonic the Hedgehog came out Sega was in a fierce battle with Nintendo to see what game system was the best. Nintendo was winning because Mario was so popular. The guys at Sega knew they had to come up with something special so they created the Sonic the Hedgehog who is the fastest game characte rof all time. See, Mario was kind of slow but Sonic the Hedgehog is so fast that Sega had to make a special chip for the Sega Genesis that allowed the game to be so fast called "Blast Processing." Man I wish Sega put "Blast Processing" in the Dreamcast because that's probably why it didn't beat the Playstation2!
OK, now let's get on with the review! The moment you all have been waiting for! haha! So Sonic the Hedgehog came out and it was so original and awesome that it made the Sega Genesis win the system war with Nintendo. Sonic the Hedgehog has incredible graphics that were the best people had ever seen at the time. If you look back now you might say, Hey Steve these graphics aren't all that great! I know I know, but at the time they were the best people had ever seen. You've got to remember that this was before games coudl do "3D" so for a "2D" game Sonic the Hedgehog was amazing. Also, it was fast, the fastest game people had ever played. It had a lot of neat enemies to fight including the evil Dr. Robotnick who you had to face at the end of ever level. Let me just summarize by saying that Sonic the Hedgehog's awesome graphics and speed made it beat Mario and Nintendo!
Wow!Writing about Sonic the Hedgehog brings back so many memories! haha! I can still remember that title screen where Sonic the Hedgehog comes out of the circle and waves his finger at you. I always thought he was saying I was naughty or something, like he was disapointed in me. "Hey Steve I know about the Penthouses you have stashed under the bed. You better hope I don't tell your Mom!" haha!
OK guys that is my METAL REVIEW of Sonic the Hedgehog for SEga Genesis. I hope you liked reading it as much as I liked writing it. If you have a Sega Genesis and you don't have Sonic the Hedgehog you should get it and play it. The games that came after it, Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Sonic the Hedgehg 3, Sonic the Hedgehog and Knuckles are all also really good and worth playing. You should just get them all! haha! So until next time this is Metal Steve signing off. Remember! As Metal Steve says, "NOBODY CAN CATCH THE FASTEST ON THE PLANET!" Later!
Sonic the Hedgehog came out when I was still just a kid. The story goes like this. At the time when Sonic the Hedgehog came out Sega was in a fierce battle with Nintendo to see what game system was the best. Nintendo was winning because Mario was so popular. The guys at Sega knew they had to come up with something special so they created the Sonic the Hedgehog who is the fastest game characte rof all time. See, Mario was kind of slow but Sonic the Hedgehog is so fast that Sega had to make a special chip for the Sega Genesis that allowed the game to be so fast called "Blast Processing." Man I wish Sega put "Blast Processing" in the Dreamcast because that's probably why it didn't beat the Playstation2!
OK, now let's get on with the review! The moment you all have been waiting for! haha! So Sonic the Hedgehog came out and it was so original and awesome that it made the Sega Genesis win the system war with Nintendo. Sonic the Hedgehog has incredible graphics that were the best people had ever seen at the time. If you look back now you might say, Hey Steve these graphics aren't all that great! I know I know, but at the time they were the best people had ever seen. You've got to remember that this was before games coudl do "3D" so for a "2D" game Sonic the Hedgehog was amazing. Also, it was fast, the fastest game people had ever played. It had a lot of neat enemies to fight including the evil Dr. Robotnick who you had to face at the end of ever level. Let me just summarize by saying that Sonic the Hedgehog's awesome graphics and speed made it beat Mario and Nintendo!
Wow!Writing about Sonic the Hedgehog brings back so many memories! haha! I can still remember that title screen where Sonic the Hedgehog comes out of the circle and waves his finger at you. I always thought he was saying I was naughty or something, like he was disapointed in me. "Hey Steve I know about the Penthouses you have stashed under the bed. You better hope I don't tell your Mom!" haha!
OK guys that is my METAL REVIEW of Sonic the Hedgehog for SEga Genesis. I hope you liked reading it as much as I liked writing it. If you have a Sega Genesis and you don't have Sonic the Hedgehog you should get it and play it. The games that came after it, Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Sonic the Hedgehg 3, Sonic the Hedgehog and Knuckles are all also really good and worth playing. You should just get them all! haha! So until next time this is Metal Steve signing off. Remember! As Metal Steve says, "NOBODY CAN CATCH THE FASTEST ON THE PLANET!" Later!
Monday, March 17, 2008
Welcome to Metal Steve's Game Riffs
Hey everybody. Steve Dewitt here, or as my friends call me "Metal Steve" haha! I wanted to make a sit where everbody could come to read about video games from someone who really knows what they are talking about! I have been playing games since I was a young kid and totally know what I am talking about!
Now you might say Hey Steve, what makes you worthy of my time? Well I'm glad you asked. See, unlike those other game sites, Metal Steve's Game Riffs is madeby a true gamer for true gamers! Are you tired me reading those web sites wehre they just give a big score and type blah blah blah blah and you're like scratching your head saying "HUH?" Me, too! That's why I created this site. I'm into every type of game not just the new stuff, so whether you like old games or new games or anything in between I've gotcha covered!
I'm a busy man working full time and playing in a metal band, but I am going to be dedicated to updateing this site as often as I can. I write really good and I'm not going to use "L33t" speak or anything like that, so you don't have to worry! haha!
Oh yeah I should give you a quick update on who Metal Steve even is! I'm a rocker in a band called Mighty Talon and when I'm not rockin out with the boys I like to play video games and spend time with my lady Samantha. I also work full time but I don't sleep that much so I still have time to play games. Plus I'm a good writer and like to write about games so this is like a match made in heaven!
All right then guys, Metal Steve is out for now but tune in next time when I bring one of my METAL REVIEWS with me. I don't like game scores because like what do they even mean, right? But I'll tell you straight on what games suck and what games don't. So that's all for now, but remember, as Metal Steve says: "KEEP YOUR EYES ON WHAT'S IMPORTANT AND KEEP THE METAL ALIVE!" Later!
Now you might say Hey Steve, what makes you worthy of my time? Well I'm glad you asked. See, unlike those other game sites, Metal Steve's Game Riffs is madeby a true gamer for true gamers! Are you tired me reading those web sites wehre they just give a big score and type blah blah blah blah and you're like scratching your head saying "HUH?" Me, too! That's why I created this site. I'm into every type of game not just the new stuff, so whether you like old games or new games or anything in between I've gotcha covered!
I'm a busy man working full time and playing in a metal band, but I am going to be dedicated to updateing this site as often as I can. I write really good and I'm not going to use "L33t" speak or anything like that, so you don't have to worry! haha!
Oh yeah I should give you a quick update on who Metal Steve even is! I'm a rocker in a band called Mighty Talon and when I'm not rockin out with the boys I like to play video games and spend time with my lady Samantha. I also work full time but I don't sleep that much so I still have time to play games. Plus I'm a good writer and like to write about games so this is like a match made in heaven!
All right then guys, Metal Steve is out for now but tune in next time when I bring one of my METAL REVIEWS with me. I don't like game scores because like what do they even mean, right? But I'll tell you straight on what games suck and what games don't. So that's all for now, but remember, as Metal Steve says: "KEEP YOUR EYES ON WHAT'S IMPORTANT AND KEEP THE METAL ALIVE!" Later!
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