Metal Steve Reviews Kingdom Hearts

yBefore I get into my METAL REVIEW of Kingdom Hearts for the Playstation2, I shoudl first apologize to all my faithful fans for not putting up any new reviews for a long time. I haven't been in a good mood lately because the guys in Mighty Talon were thinking about adding a second guitar player to the group. Right now I'm the only guitar player and they think that a second ax man would add some extra sound to our music during shows but I was like "Hey guys, no way! I can handle all of it!" but they seem to doubt my ability to handle all of it. So now we have to audition some dudes adn they want to add some guy named Lightning Jim who moved up to Fresno from San Diego but I hate San Diego so I'm like "Guys this guy is a tool!" haha! Why do I hate SAn Diego you ask? Well I'm glad you asked. I wanted to go to Tijuwana so I drove and drove my car but I ran out of gas when I got to San Diego, man that was a long trip. So I started waving my arms and asked for "HELP!" but then this car stopped and these kids started throwing eggs at me and calling me gay and stuff. I was like "What the heck!" The worst part is these kids were METAL because they had METAL tshirts on but apparently they didn't know I was METAL too event hough I was wearing a Pantera tshirt. So I vowed never to go to San Diego again. haha! Now that you know that story we can proceed with my METAL REVIEW of Kingdom Hearts for the Playstation2. "PRESS START!"

Kingdom Hearts is a Final Fantasy game but Square-Enix wanted to make it even better so they called up Disney and were like "Hey can we talk to Walt?" Really they asked for Walt becasue in Japan they don't know he's dead. The receptionist was like "I'm sorry, Walt is dead" so they talked to the president of Disney and said "Hey guys, we want to make a Final Fantasy game but make it even better so can we put Disney characters in it?" and the president said "Let me think about it." But his advisors said "Mr. President, Square-Enix makes lots of money and Final Fantasy is the most popular game ever made" so the president called back and said "Yes, youc an use Disney characters in your new game." It's a good thing he did because the game has made Square-Enix and Disney over a billion dollars! Wow! haha! Here's a Metal Steve secret for you. The KINGDOM in KINGDOM hearts stands for "MAGIC KINGDOM" which is what people call Disneyland. I'm not sure what HEARTS stand sfor but it's something from Square-Enix I'm sure.

You might think Disney isn't very METAL but at Disneyland they have some pretty METAL stuff like a haunted mansion. But I don't like Disneyland because there are too many disabled people who mess everything up for the rest of us who can walk and stuff. Samantha and I went to Disneyland a couple years ago and I was like "OK I'll go if we can go on Pirates of the Caribean" and she said we could. So we got in line but then all the boats got backed up when returning to the front because some fat guy in a wheelchair had to get in the boat and it took like vfive minutes! Samantha got mad because I yelled out "Hurry up man you're holding us all up!" but I was angry. I like handicapped people but maybe they should go someplace else or something. Like you wouldn't see a disabled dude in a most pit at a Mighty Talon concert so why do they need to go on Pirates of the Caribean? Maybe they should make a second Disneyland for disabled people and call it Disney Disabledland or something! haha!

So now that you know why Disneyland isn't very good because of all the handicapped people I can tell you why Kingdom Hearts is not like Disneyland but it is actually good. You play as a boy named Sora but you also have Donald Duck and Goofy with you and you have to save Mickey. You fight lots of enemies but the part that is fun for Disney fans is that you can play in every single Disney movie ever made. So if you like Pinochio or Snow White guess what! They've got it there for you! It's like a Disney fans dream come true! haha! Also there are cool monsters you fight that look like ghost shadows come to life. Kids might get scared until they see Donald Duck and Goofy and then they'll be like "Wow if Donald Duck and Goofy aren't scared I won't be either!" haha!

Kingdom Hearts for PLaystation2 is aone of the most expensive games ever made but it sold millions of copys and is the best selling game of all time so Square-Enix and Disney are happy. Even if you hate Disneyland you should play it. It's not really METAL but as you read in my METAL REVIEW it is still a good game. Man I am still so mad aout my stupid band wanting to add another guitar player. Lightning Jim can go back to San Diego for all I care! haha! Ok my friends this is your fearless leader Metal Steve signing off. Remember as Metal Steve says: "IT IS OK TO BE HANDICAPPED BUT DON'T HOLD UP THE LINE!" Later!