Thursday, April 3, 2008

Metal Steve Reviews Dead Rising

Today I wanted to talk to you about a game the singer for my band Mighty Talon likes a lot, and this game in questions is called Dead Rising. I like the game a lot, too, so I told my band's singer whose name is Daniel, or "Platinum Daniel" as we call him, that he has good taste in games. haha! We call him "Platinum Daniel" because that is how many records we plan to sell when we release our first album once we record it and get it released on a major recdord label. People will go to the CD store and be like "Hey do you guys have the new Mighty Talon CD" and the cashier will be like "Turn around and look behind you." When they turn around they'll see a whole wall with copies of the Mighty Talon album but they'd better be quick to grab a copy because there will be countless screaming fans running to grab a copy! Even black people who like rap and other types of people who don't usually like METAL will have to buy copies and say, "Whoa Steve, I didn't think I liked METAL but this Mighty Talon albummakes me like METAL now!" haha! It's gonig to be pretty awesome, I assure you. But now is not the time to talk about Mighty Talon. No, now is the time to talk about my METAL REVIEW of Dead Rising for the Xbox-360. So sit back nd prepare yourselfs my faithful fans, because my METAL REVIEW of Dead Rising for the Xbox-360 begins now!

The game Dead Rising is about a guy who takes pictures for a living and somehwo he gets stuck in a mall full of zombies in a small town in America. The guy's name is Frank and even though you can take pictures with his camera don't have to use that to fight zombies. Because you're in a mall you can just about anything you can find you can use to fight zombies. So that means you can use dummies they use to model clothes, guns, skateboards, golf clubs, man just about everything you can think of. There are even chainsaws and ninja swords! Plus you can change Frank's clothes but be careful because you might accidentally put him in woman's clothes and that's just not right! Poor Frank! "WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU?" haha! I never know a cross-dresser that wasn't gay but Frank isn't gay so don't dress him like a woman! haha! But I don't hate gays or anything, it's just that Frank is not gay so don't do that to him! haha! But I bet even gays would buy the Mighty Talon CD when it comes out and I always support my fans.

The goal of Dead Rising for the Xbox-360 is to kill every single zombie in the mall. There are also "BOSSES" you have to fight like a clown with chainsaws and "CITIZENS" you have to rescue like fat people and little kids. But if you don't want to rescute the "CITIZENS" you can just choose not to do that if you don't feel like it. It's like "Hey guys I'm sorry but I'm too busy to save you, but there are weapons around the mall why don't you use those?" They're just lazy! haha! If you want to kill all the zombies here's a Metal Steve secret. There is a car hidden in the parking area but you have to find it which is not easy to do! But if you have the car you can run over zombies. It's not really that realistic though because you car doesn't even really take any damage so it lookskind of fake. But killing all the zombies with the car is the easy way to go! I don't know if the makers of Dead Rising want you to know that secret but now you do, thanks to your friend Metal Steve! "LET'S TAKE DOWN THESE ZOMBIES TOGETHER, OK?" haha!

Dead Rising is one of the most violent games ever but since you kill zombies and not living people nobody really cares. The game can be played by little kids and unless they're wimps they wno't be scared. Well not really little kids but I'm talkign like 10 or 12 years old, they can probably play a game like this. Just don't be surprised if they wet their pants from being scared! haha! But just tell him "Hey man, this isn't real so don't be such a wimp!" Well, maybe kids should not play a game like Dead Rising unless they're brave. Ask the kids "ARE YOU BRAVE ENOUGH TO FIGHT ZOMBIES!" but if they don't say "Yes" then don't let them play the game. Adults will really like the game, though, and they should run to get a copy if they don't already own it. Even if they own it, though, they should play it again! haha!

Now you have read my METAL REVIEW of Dead Rising for the Xbox-360 and know why both Platinum Daniel and me like it so much. It is a violent game but since you just kill zombies it's not so bad. Maybe you shouldn't let kids play it but if they're kind of brave kids they will probabyl want to play it and it won't be a problem. Just don't be surprised if they pee their pants if they're not brave! haha! But zombies aren't living people so the violence isn't that bad! Now if you will excuse me I must get ready for band practice with my band Mighty Talon. We are trying otu a new song that I wrote today and hopefully Eric our drummer has been practicing. He's kind of been slacking off on his practicing lately and has been sloppy. He'd better watch out or Platinum Daniel and I will send Eric to a mall fullof zombies that want to eat his brains. "BRAINS! WE COME FOR BRAINS!" haha! Until next time this is Metal Steve bidding you a fond farewell. Remembe,r as Metal Steve says: "DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE ZOMBIES, BE MORE AFRAID OF DRESSING LIKE A LADY!" Later!

No comments: