Buckle your seatbleslts everyone because Metal Steve has a crazy tale that has transpired since last we met in my METAL REVIEW of Muramasa The Demon Blade for the Nintendoi Wii. You see, not only did I break up with my girlfriend or should I say EX-GLIRFRIEND Samantha but now I need to find a new drummer for my band Mighty Talon because I kicked our drummer Eric out of the band! A lot has transpired since the last 24 hours folks and Metal Steve is here to tell you the tale but hey I know you come here for METAL REVEIWS too so your pal Metal Steve will quickly tell you what transpired then get on with a METAL REVIEW for you! Okay, so let's do this. "SIR PLEASE RELAY WHAT HAPPENED MY KING!" And indeed I will! haha!
Last night Samantha told me she's sad she can't get pregnant after trying so much and I was like, "hey baby, I guess you girls just can't swim" and she got all upset and told me I wasn't being suppoirutifve and that I was going to make a terrible father. So that got me angry and I wsa like "Youi know what, why don't you go make a baby yourself then!" and then told her that hse was probably the problem because I can get plenty of chicks pregnant if I wanted. She told me to get out and yeah, well, whatever. You know the rest. No need to bore you with the detail of what transpired beyond that! haha! Just jsut say that your pal Steve is know on the market so if your girolfriend or wife breaks up with you to go for a rock star guitar player in the band Mighty Talon don't come crawling to me in tears because you hvae been warned! haha! LOL!
By now you might be saying "Whoa, Steve, where is the METAL REVIEW you promised us. Don't leave suhanging here!" and to that I say, "Patience is a virtew my loyal subjects just hang tight I'm getting to it!" haha! So I wnet to crash at my drummer Eric's apartment and he was playing his Nintendo Wii when I got there but what my eyes witness, my loayal subjects I cannot even dare describe. But because you come to yoru pal Metal Steve for his famous METAL REVIEWS I will be brave nad describe the horrible sights my eyes saw.
Eric was playing this game called Muslce March where you have to mke these gay muscle guys march through walls. Now beofre you get upset nad say "Steve, don't call people gay that's mean!" remember that I totally support gays and if I could vote I'd totally vote to let them even get married! Mighty Talon even played at a gay bar once and to the gay's credit they didn't even try to have sex with any of us because they knew we were straight and liked chicks! So you can say that Steve is even a supporter of gays. But that doens't mean I want to watch some gay msucle guys run through walls.
I was like "Eric let's play something else" but he was totally hypnotised by those guay muscle guys as they ran through walls and I was like "Eric, dude you've got to stop man, you can't watch this stuff any longer." Its not that Eric was playing a gay game that got me mad it's thatt the game is totally stupid and you just make gay muslce guys run through walls and that is totally stupid. I was like, "Who made this game?" haha! It turns out Namco Bandai made the game and even though I respect them for making other good games Muscle March is enguhgh to make me thinkg "Whoa, there si something in the water at Namco Bandai that is making them make sucky games about muslce guys who are gay running throguh walls!"
I told Eric he could choose between his precious Muscle March or playing drums for Mighty Talon and he was like "Steve you ca'tn be serious" and I was like, "Oh yes I am." Well, you can probably guess why Eric is no longer the drummer for Mithy Talon! haha! "WE ONLY WANT REAL MUSICIANS, NOT FREAKS." He was like "Nobody would kcik me out of a band for playing a game" and I was like "Watch me!" and slammed the door before going to my singer "Platinum" Daniel's house to crash. When I told him that I kicked Eric out of the band he was like "You did the right thing Steve, we dnon't need a guy like that behind the kit." haha!
So now you have read my METAL REVIEW of why Muslce March for the Nintendo Wii is a bad game and shouldn't be played. Even if you are gay and like looking at gay muscle guys I would say to avoids this game beacuse all you do is make gay msuachle guys run through walls and that is totally stupid! Namco Bandai should be ashamed of themslelves for making such a sucky game, but hey I guess they thought that many gay guys would like Muslce March but I don't think any self respecting gay guy would play a game like Muscle March so I thinkg you should avoid it, evne if you are gay! Remember, as your pal Metal Steve says, "BEING GAY IS OKAY, BUT PLAYING A SUCKY GAME JUST BECHAUSE IT IS GAY IS NOT A GOOD IDEA!" haha! Well, until nex titme, this is your pal Metal Steve signing off. And watch out ladies because Metal Stev eis officially on the prowl! LOL! Later!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Metal Steve Reviews Muramasa The Demon Blade
Hey everyone. Your faithful captain Methal Steve is back and ready for more action! haha! I bet you were like, "Whoa, Steve musthave died or something becaues he's never posting on Game Riffs any more" and your RIGHT! I am a zombie RAAAAH STEVE WILL EATH YORU BRAINS SO LOOKOUT EVERYONE! RAAAAAH! BRAINS! Lol! Just kidding, I'm not a zombie but I will still eat your brain methaphorically speaking with the greatness of my new METAL REVIEW of the Nintendo Wii game Muramasa The Demon Blade. So get ready my victims of zombei apocalpyse because Steve is here to BRING BACK THE MTAL. "LET'S DO THIS RIGHT THE FIRST TIME CAPTIAN!!" haha!
But hold up a minute, my faithful fans. You are probably like "Steve, what's going on? Why haveh you apandoned me!?" Don't cry my dear friens because the truth of the matter is Steve was too busy to playvideo games to write reviews. What has your vaforite game reviewer been up to? EATINB RAINS OF CORUSE! haha. Just kidding! LoL! No, I was busy with my band Mighty Talon working on a new blum that may or may not be out in stores this year. And of coruse I've been busy with my girilfriend Samantha who if all goes accoring to plan will be what the rap guys' call my "Baby's Mama" very soon! So fear not, loyal subjects of KINGDOM STEVE, your king has not been wasting his time. METAL AND SEX FOREVER!! haha!
So let's get back on topic here because I do'nt have all day here and neither do you, although you aren't in a band like me or have as much tiem in bed with hot chicks like me. They don't call me "ALL NIGHT STEVE" for nothing, let me tell yuou! haha! So anyway Muramasa the Demon Blade is a new Nintendo Wii game that appearls to us "OLD SCHOOL GAMERS" like me because it has amazing 2D graphics. The makers of the game had to get special persimmon from Nintendo to make such good graphics. The guy who made Muramasa the Demon Blade called Nintendo and was like, "Hey, sorry to beat you at your own game guys but we have this new game and it looks beter than yours! But let us release it anyway OK?" haha! But Nintendo took one look at the game and was like, "Whoa, video game players must paly this because this is incredible. You have our permission" and now you know how the guys who made Muramasa The Demon Balde got away with making such a good looking game.
But one thing that is importaht ist hat Muramasa The Demon Blade has 2D graphics. I think Ive explained this before but just in case I'll let you know that games come in two types, 2D and 3-D. The 2D games are the kind us "OLD FOGEYS" grue up playing, you know stuff like Mario before Suepr Mario 64 and old games like that. 3D is stuff like Super Mario 64 and everyting after that because Nintendo invented 3D games with Super Mario 64 and everyone else was like "Whoa guys, tha'ts awesome can we do that?" and now eveyrone does 3D games although they have to pay Nintendo a royalty to make 3D games becasue Nintendo owns the patenent on 3D.
Muraumasa the Demon Blade takesp lace in Ancient Japan where there are samurais and ninjas at every turn. "LOOK OUT A NINJA IS CREEPING DOWN RIGHT BEHIND YOU TO KILL YOU AAAAH!" haha! I made you look diden't I? Muramasa the Demon Blade is a great 2D game with samurais and ninjas that want you dead but there's no reason to worry. You might say, "How can I stand up to ninjas and samurais?" nad the answer is you have THE MURAMASA DEMON BLADE to slash them all down with! It would be cool if there were nunchicks you could use too but you can't have it all.
WEll I hope you enjoyed my METAL REVIEW of Muramasa the Demon Blade for the Nintedno Wii and know why it is the best 2D game on the Nintendo Wii! I hope yo can forgive you pal Metal Steve for being away for so long buty like I said I was busy making metal and ahem "GETTING BUSY." Not only will I soon rule the record stors with my new CD soon but I might be ruling the father of the year charts too if I can get Samantha pregnant soon! haha! I don't knwo if I even want to be a dad but Samantha wants a baby and plus I heard woman's breast get bigger when they are pregnent so you know what I say to that? "BONUS!" So until next time my faithfull followers, this is your commander in chief Metal Steve signing off. Remember, as Metal Steve says: "NINJAS AND SAMURAIS ARE NO MATCH FOR THE DEMNO BLADE!" Oh and one more thing. "BRAAAAAINS METAL STEVE WANTS TO EATHTYOUR BRAAAAAIINNNS!!!" haha! Later!
But hold up a minute, my faithful fans. You are probably like "Steve, what's going on? Why haveh you apandoned me!?" Don't cry my dear friens because the truth of the matter is Steve was too busy to playvideo games to write reviews. What has your vaforite game reviewer been up to? EATINB RAINS OF CORUSE! haha. Just kidding! LoL! No, I was busy with my band Mighty Talon working on a new blum that may or may not be out in stores this year. And of coruse I've been busy with my girilfriend Samantha who if all goes accoring to plan will be what the rap guys' call my "Baby's Mama" very soon! So fear not, loyal subjects of KINGDOM STEVE, your king has not been wasting his time. METAL AND SEX FOREVER!! haha!
So let's get back on topic here because I do'nt have all day here and neither do you, although you aren't in a band like me or have as much tiem in bed with hot chicks like me. They don't call me "ALL NIGHT STEVE" for nothing, let me tell yuou! haha! So anyway Muramasa the Demon Blade is a new Nintendo Wii game that appearls to us "OLD SCHOOL GAMERS" like me because it has amazing 2D graphics. The makers of the game had to get special persimmon from Nintendo to make such good graphics. The guy who made Muramasa the Demon Blade called Nintendo and was like, "Hey, sorry to beat you at your own game guys but we have this new game and it looks beter than yours! But let us release it anyway OK?" haha! But Nintendo took one look at the game and was like, "Whoa, video game players must paly this because this is incredible. You have our permission" and now you know how the guys who made Muramasa The Demon Balde got away with making such a good looking game.
But one thing that is importaht ist hat Muramasa The Demon Blade has 2D graphics. I think Ive explained this before but just in case I'll let you know that games come in two types, 2D and 3-D. The 2D games are the kind us "OLD FOGEYS" grue up playing, you know stuff like Mario before Suepr Mario 64 and old games like that. 3D is stuff like Super Mario 64 and everyting after that because Nintendo invented 3D games with Super Mario 64 and everyone else was like "Whoa guys, tha'ts awesome can we do that?" and now eveyrone does 3D games although they have to pay Nintendo a royalty to make 3D games becasue Nintendo owns the patenent on 3D.
Muraumasa the Demon Blade takesp lace in Ancient Japan where there are samurais and ninjas at every turn. "LOOK OUT A NINJA IS CREEPING DOWN RIGHT BEHIND YOU TO KILL YOU AAAAH!" haha! I made you look diden't I? Muramasa the Demon Blade is a great 2D game with samurais and ninjas that want you dead but there's no reason to worry. You might say, "How can I stand up to ninjas and samurais?" nad the answer is you have THE MURAMASA DEMON BLADE to slash them all down with! It would be cool if there were nunchicks you could use too but you can't have it all.
WEll I hope you enjoyed my METAL REVIEW of Muramasa the Demon Blade for the Nintedno Wii and know why it is the best 2D game on the Nintendo Wii! I hope yo can forgive you pal Metal Steve for being away for so long buty like I said I was busy making metal and ahem "GETTING BUSY." Not only will I soon rule the record stors with my new CD soon but I might be ruling the father of the year charts too if I can get Samantha pregnant soon! haha! I don't knwo if I even want to be a dad but Samantha wants a baby and plus I heard woman's breast get bigger when they are pregnent so you know what I say to that? "BONUS!" So until next time my faithfull followers, this is your commander in chief Metal Steve signing off. Remember, as Metal Steve says: "NINJAS AND SAMURAIS ARE NO MATCH FOR THE DEMNO BLADE!" Oh and one more thing. "BRAAAAAINS METAL STEVE WANTS TO EATHTYOUR BRAAAAAIINNNS!!!" haha! Later!
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